Li Meijin: Children have procrastination, parents have 5 \”killer tips\”, and children become more diligent every day

A mother and I discussed a topic: \”How to educate and correct children who procrastinate?\” The mother complained to me: Her son Xiao Ming is already in elementary school. Her mother reminds him to do his homework and clean the room, but he always gets it first. Pick up your phone and immerse yourself in the game world. After his mother urged him many times, he reluctantly put down his phone and slowly started doing his homework. Mom felt helpless and hoped to find a way to make Xiao Ming diligent. Children\’s tendency to procrastinate is a headache and anxiety problem for many parents. They have to be constantly urged every day from getting up to going to bed, which makes them anxious to death. Could it be that there is something wrong with the child\’s natural personality? Why is there such a thing as procrastination? As the saying goes: A child\’s dilly-dallying is not a disease, but parents who urge him or her are \”dead\”. Professor Li Meijin, a well-known education expert, said: If a child has procrastination, parents must analyze the reasons for procrastination and master five trump cards to improve their children\’s procrastination habit. Below we explore the three major causes of procrastination and explain in detail five measures to improve your child’s procrastination. 1. Three major reasons why children like to procrastinate 1. The requirements are too high and disrupt the child’s internal order. Parents have high expectations for their children and always like to use adult standards to demand their children. However, education must follow the physical and mental development characteristics of children. and discipline, otherwise it will be counterproductive and counterproductive. Parents\’ urging will lead to chaos in the child\’s internal order. Excessive urging is essentially a form of control. It not only makes the child lose himself, but may also lower his self-esteem and affect self-discipline. Children\’s procrastination is often a manifestation of insufficient self-discipline. 2. Too much urging leads to bad psychological cues. If parents always urge their children, they will give their children a bad psychological hint: \”I move very slowly.\” Gradually, the children will form a negative label: self-positioning as \”those who need constant urging\” This kind of self-perception will gradually shape the child\’s behavior to make it more and more consistent with this label. Therefore, the more anxious the parents are to urge, the slower the child will be, resulting in vicious cycle. 3. Too much pressure, resulting in negative confrontation. Parents’ excessive expectations for their children and constant task assignments may make children feel tremendous pressure, causing them to be breathless. This continuous pressure may stimulate children’s rebellious psychology and make them They tend to avoid things they don\’t want to face. Therefore, in order to rebel against their parents, but they cannot directly conflict with their parents, they have to resort to procrastination to engage in passive confrontation in order to avoid more tasks. 2. How parents can help their children get rid of procrastination 1. Put yourself in their children’s shoes and understand that parents sometimes yell at their children because they think the questions are too simple and the children should solve them easily. But don’t forget that when we were children, we might not be as good as them. Woolen cloth. So, think about it from another angle. Don’t judge children with the eyes of adults. Stand on the children’s side and understand their difficulties, so that we can help them calmly and patiently. Remember, only by truly understanding children, can we help them more calmly and patiently. Only then can you help your children calmly. Li Ming always puts off his math homework until the last minute. The parents decided to put themselves in his shoes and no longer blame him, but analyze the reasons with him. They found that Li Ming was not interested in mathematics, so they made an interesting plan together.The mathematics game plan allows him to learn while playing, gradually improving his interest in mathematics and his homework efficiency. 2. Change cognition and accept children. Parents must realize that each child is unique and has different personalities, talents, and growth rates. We must adjust educational methods according to the child\’s personality. Even if children do not meet our expectations, we must fully accept them, because everyone has their own way. Learn to understand children with an open mind and accept their differences. This is the way to truly love them. Xiaohong often procrastinated when learning piano. Her parents accepted her pace and no longer forced her to practice every day. They encouraged Xiaohong to decide her own practice time so that she could feel the autonomy of her learning. Xiaohong gradually found her own points of interest and began to practice actively, and her procrastination problem was improved. 3. Positive feedback and reinforcement of positive behaviors. When children are dilly-dallying, procrastinating, etc., parents should first analyze the reasons behind it. If the problem lies with the child, parents should help the child overcome the difficulties. For example, by setting homework time, we can help children establish a sense of time, encourage them to complete homework independently, enhance their self-confidence, and praise them promptly when they encounter progress, no matter how big or small, to encourage them to continue doing so. In this way, children can gradually form a positive learning attitude and change their behavior. Procrastination Habit. Zhang Qiang always puts it off until the end when writing essays, so his parents decided to use positive feedback to reinforce his positive behavior. Whenever Zhang Qiang completes his composition on time, his parents will praise and reward him. This positive feedback inspired Zhang Qiang, who began to enjoy writing and took the initiative to complete the composition ahead of schedule. 4. Refine goals and take specific actions to help children overcome procrastination. Parents can teach them to refine big goals into small steps and set a specific completion time for each step. For example, break the homework into several parts and complete each part. Just tick a box to increase the sense of accomplishment. Teach your children to use a simple schedule or to-do list to track progress. At the same time, encourage your children to give themselves some small rewards after completing tasks to stimulate enthusiasm. What is important is that parents should accompany you patiently and give them in a timely manner. Provide guidance and encouragement so that children can learn self-management and time planning through practice. Xiaohua\’s English word memorization was always delayed. His parents helped him refine the word learning task into a small goal of reciting 10 words every day, and used a to-do list to track progress. Xiaohua can get small rewards for each day\’s tasks completed. This method makes Xiaohua feel that studying is no longer boring, and his procrastination habit has also been improved. 5. Adjust your mentality and learn to let go. When parents encounter procrastination by their children, don\’t be impatient and push them. This will trigger the \”over-limit effect\” and make children more rebellious. You must learn to calm down, understand your children, and influence them with positive emotions. Give children a certain amount of space for autonomy, demonstrate with actions instead of just relying on words, let go at the right time, and let children grow in self-exploration. This can cultivate children\’s independence and sense of responsibility, and avoid unnecessary parent-child conflicts. Wang Li often feels anxious and procrastinates when preparing for exams. Her parents decided to adjust their mentality and give her more room for autonomy. Instead of pushing frequently, they demonstrate through their actions how to manage time effectively. Wang Li felt the trust of her parents and began to learn to self-regulate and procrastinate.The problem is alleviated. All Kung Fu in the world is about speed and not attacking. But when it comes to childcare, the faster it is, the less effective it is. Waiting for the flowers to bloom without forcing them is the best medicine. In short, parents should carefully study and apply the five tips shared by education expert Professor Li Meijin, respect the differences in individual development, use more love and patience to encourage and support their children, so that they can become more self-disciplined and diligent, and children who smoke can make time. Owner.