Li Meijin: There are three steps in raising children. These three critical ages are also three \”unhappy\” periods for children. Parents must pay attention to them.

Professor Li Meijin: There are three steps in raising a child: before the age of 6, it is mainly about emotional and character cultivation; between the ages of 6 and 12, after the child enters elementary school, the focus is on the cultivation of learning ability; after the age of 12, the emphasis is on respect for education. Children face tremendous pressure at these three critical ages, when they first enter school or jump into another learning stage, namely 6 years old, 12 years old and 16 years old. Therefore, parents must pay more attention to whether their children are sending out distress signals during these three periods, and help them overcome stress and gain happiness. 1. Children aged 6 have entered school age and have begun the most important period of their lives – school life. They must face a brand new learning environment. Some children may express emotions of excitement and yearning, mixed with a hint of uneasiness about the unfamiliar environment; some children may be afraid of it. Parents need to make their children feel safe in order to heal their insecurities and fears. Elementary school is the first socialization group in a child\’s life. At this stage, children begin to move from the family to the external environment. Children spend most of their time in school, and gradually shift their needs from the family to the outside world, school or other groups. This is indeed a huge transition for 6-year-old children. They sometimes behave \”clumsy\”, sometimes have unstable emotions, and have some physical health problems. Parents need to pay more attention to their children\’s emotions and less to the things themselves, give them a sense of security with the greatest love and patience, and guide their children to smoothly enter the role of primary school students, so that they can be purposeful, planned and responsible under the guidance of teachers. Systematically master knowledge, skills and behavioral norms. Professor Li Meijin emphasized that the focus is on cultivating learning ability between the ages of 6 and 12. If parents have trained him well in the past six years, it will be very worry-free later. From the first day of school, children need to be cultivated to have a serious and responsible learning attitude and develop good study habits. Teachers\’ praise and excellent results will further encourage children to study hard and make greater progress, forming a virtuous circle. Guide children to learn to allocate time, reasonably arrange study and play time, create a quiet learning environment for children, establish a reasonable work and rest system, go to bed early and get up early to ensure sufficient energy for the next day. Pay attention to children\’s love and respect for teachers, and cultivate children\’s love for learning, love for school, and love for teachers. This emotion is often the driving force for children to like school and study hard. Parents should communicate with teachers in real time, cooperate closely, and help their children in a coordinated manner. 6 to 12 years old is a period of growth for children in the fields of social ability, learning ability and knowledge. Children spend at least 8 hours a day with this 6-year-old group, which is more time than with their parents, and they have a lot of learning and social problems. Problems have become dependent on themselves or their peers for help. Therefore, parents need to pay attention to the impact of the school environment on their children, and let family education and social education complement school education. 2. The pressure faced by 12-year-old children in adolescence is difficult for us to imagine. In this transition period from children to adults, in addition to the anxiety of transitioning from a familiar learning environment to an unfamiliar environment,and fear, as well as the pressure of facing the entrance examination from primary school to junior high school, coupled with the unprecedented self-esteem caused by physiological changes, make them want to prove themselves, but they are sensitive and easily frustrated. At the age of 12, they are going through a period of physical and mental storms, especially in need Parents’ understanding and help. Professor Li Meijin said: Due to the development of independent consciousness and self-awareness, children\’s rebellion, disrespect for parents and self-assertion are common phenomena in adolescence. Whether it’s rebellion or struggles in adolescence, they are all pains that children must go through as they grow. They may be reckless or paranoid, but they need more understanding, acceptance and support from their parents. Only in this way can children be willing to approach their parents and understand their true intentions. Only in this way can they finally complete psychological weaning, move toward independence of thought and personality, and feel and maintain their own boundaries. Seeking attention from the deepest feelings and emotions is the biggest appeal of adolescent children; I see you, I care about you, is the real desire of adolescent children; independence is the biggest declaration of adolescent children, what is needed is respect, and I hope parents can discuss things more , order less in everything. Sometimes, the more spikes a child has on the outside, the more fragile and confused he or she feels inside. If parents do not understand their children\’s inner struggles and use the wrong method, the children will easily go further and further in the confrontation. If a child suddenly changes in behavior or mood: suddenly refuses to go to school, is depressed, easily agitated, violent, or keeps complaining of pain or discomfort in a certain part of the body, etc., parents must pay attention to it. This may be the child telling you Send out a \”distress signal\”, hoping to attract parents\’ attention and get help to get rid of the torture of stress. Accompany your children through adolescence smoothly, and you will find that all your efforts and care will be reciprocated in the future. Helping children to get rid of the pressure in their hearts in a timely and effective manner is something that adolescent parents must understand, pay attention to and value. 3. The age of 16 is a special age. Faced with a series of pressures such as academic pressure, social challenges, and future planning, it is easy to feel nervous. The age of 16 is a \”dangerous period\” in growth. Children at this age are prone to psychological problems, and in severe cases, they may turn to crime. At the age of 16, I face the high school entrance examination, the most important exam in my life. The pressure comes from the performance ranking and heavy study pressure, the psychological pressure of worrying about living up to my parents\’ expectations and confusion about the future, the social pressure of comparison with peers and communication problems. , physical stress caused by overwork and bad living habits, any of which may become the straw that breaks the camel\’s back. If you take a step further, you can rush towards the top student, if you take a step back, you can become a scumbag! The \”dangerous 16-year-old phenomenon\” is not alarmist: 16-year-olds are in the middle of adolescence and are beginning to form their own values ​​and worldview. They have an increasing need for self-identity and independence. They have their own opinions and judgments on everything and need to be treated as treated as an independent individual. Wrong choices made in the face of confusion may have negative consequences. 16-year-olds account for 60% of idle people in society. The period from leaving school to employment is the period when minors are most likely to cause trouble and cause trouble.They feel that they have \”grown up\”, their self-awareness has increased, they are arrogant, immature and unreasonable, but they are also weak-willed and have poor adaptability. Some may be depressed, decadent, numb and emotionally indifferent, and some may be irritable and easily agitated. , seeking excitement, revenge, etc. Children around 16 years old are \’semi-mature\’. They are independent and mature, but they are limited in experience and age and cannot be independent. This is the most difficult period for family education. Understand the important and sensitive period of life\’s growth, learn together with your children, and become qualified parents. Let\’s grow together!