Look rationally at the “regression effect” in children’s growth

In life, many parents may find that their children\’s performance in various aspects is good and bad, but always fluctuates around their own true level; after a child performs exceptionally well one time, he often does not perform well the next time. So outstanding, after a performance is unusually poor one time, it is often not so poor the next time. This situation is in line with one of the classic laws in the field of statistics, the \”regression effect.\” Its original meaning is that the maximum or minimum value tends to move closer to the average value. It can be understood in a popular way that people or things cannot always be at the \”peak moment\” or \”trough moment\”. This classic rule also applies to the field of family education. If parents lack understanding or understanding of the \”regression effect\”, it will easily lead to blind attribution of family education methods and effects. For example, when a child performs exceptionally poorly, the parent severely criticizes him, but the child\’s performance improves the next time; when the child performs exceptionally well, the parent excitedly praises him, but the child\’s performance deteriorates next time. At this time, some parents mistakenly believe that criticism is more effective than praise, so they use criticism as the preferred method of family education. Educational behavior gradually deviates from the right track. In the end, not only is it easy to fall into the \”vortex\” of inefficient family education, but it will also damage the parent-child relationship. If parents can scientifically understand the \”regression effect\”, it will help optimize their own family education concepts and behaviors. From a strategic perspective, the author believes that parents can start from the following three aspects. First, pay attention to the child\’s daily status and understand the child\’s true level. Compared with a child\’s occasional exceptional or inferior performance, parents should pay more attention to a child\’s relatively stable performance in daily situations. For example, a child\’s academic performance in a certain subject, and the average score of multiple exams this semester or this school year can often better represent the child\’s true academic level. Parents should pay long-term attention to their children\’s daily performance in all aspects of morality, intelligence, physical education, and art, so as to comprehensively and objectively understand and evaluate their children\’s current real level. This will help to establish reasonable expectations for their children and help them develop a personality that is consistent with the real situation. development plan. Second, use praise and criticism appropriately to encourage children to move forward steadily. In family education, parents\’ praise and criticism of their children are like \”two wings of a bird\”. If used properly, they can complement each other and help children grow. First of all, parents must have a clear understanding, rationally face their children\’s abnormal or abnormal performance, and grasp the appropriate scale when praising or criticizing their children. When a child performs exceptionally well, he or she may not necessarily be ecstatic or full of praise. While affirming the child\’s performance, it can also help him analyze the reasons for his outstanding performance and guide the child to develop stable emotions and establish a reasonable understanding of himself. expect. Don’t be too disappointed when your child performs abnormally. At the same time, let your child understand that people can’t always be at their “peak moment.” They should face failure with a normal mind, learn lessons and move on. Another thing to note is that when parents criticize their children, they should focus on their specific behavior rather than their personality. Secondly, parents should praise or criticize their children in a timely manner. For example, if a child is praised at school and goes home to tell his or her parents, the child should be given empathy and a positive response in a timely manner. Don’t turn it over when criticizing\”Old accounts\”, do not repeatedly mention the child\’s past poor performance, otherwise it will easily induce parent-child conflicts. Finally, parents should not praise or criticize their children at will. Casual or perfunctory praise and criticism will only weaken their due role. Third, create A good family atmosphere helps children grow up healthily. If the family atmosphere is filled with tension and high pressure, authoritarianism and domination, conflicts and quarrels, negativity and laziness, it will inevitably have a negative impact on the child\’s physical and mental health and personality shaping. When full of negative energy In a family, the daily life of family members is more susceptible to the \”regression effect\”. For example, once a child\’s performance is poor or abnormal, lower than his average level, it is likely that the relationship between family members will be affected. The situation will become more tense, aggravate conflicts between parents and children or couples, and even \”cold violence\” or \”hot conflict\” may occur. Therefore, no matter what life situation, parents should try to maintain their own emotional stability and strive to create a positive and harmonious environment. Family atmosphere.