Love that child who throws a tantrum

To be honest, when faced with a child having a tantrum, have you ever wanted to beat him up for a moment? If we answer this question sincerely, I think the answer for most parents would be yes. But parents who can manage their emotions well just think about it. And parents who easily lose control of their emotions will really beat up their children. Many parents often regard their children\’s tantrums as disobedience, or they feel that their children have challenged their parental authority. Children\’s own needs are often ignored, even if they are reasonable needs. In fact, there are reasons why children lose their temper. And can you really be patient enough to listen and find the reason? A few days ago, I took my son home by high-speed rail from out of town. It was a 5-hour journey. It was a bit exciting just now, but then the little guy said it was boring. And we, exhausted, just want to take a good nap while racing against time. Excitable children are always looking for something fun. We patiently read him a storybook and then let him watch cartoons for a while. But as soon as he stopped, he immediately said he was bored. At this time, my wife chose to ignore it, and I closed my eyes and rested for a while, not paying attention to his feelings. Unexpectedly, he twisted in his seat for a while and cried. It is not a good thing for a child to cry and fuss in a high-speed train carriage. I quickly comforted him, but my heart felt a little blocked. Looking at him like that, I really want to beat him up. Because we seem to have tried our best to satisfy him, why can\’t we just obey the rules and sit quietly for a while? But then I thought about it, what was wrong with him? Let him sit like that for such a long time? You don\’t really understand the child\’s heart. Although you can\’t make noises and disturb others, at least your parents should actively see his emotions and understand how he feels. At this time, we can only help him adjust his mood. I said I would take him for a walk and see what delicious food there was in the dining car, hoping to help him get out of the center of this bad mood. He had a bit of a temper and told me he didn\’t want to go, pouting angrily. I know he is a little angry. How can a little snack food have trouble with delicious food? Continue to talk to him patiently, and then walk around together. I got a small ice cream when I came back. Then I took out the little toys on the trip and gave them to him to pass the time. There was no more noise along the way. I told my wife, \”The moment he cried, I really wanted to spank him hard a few times. But I felt that such spanking would not be effective. Instead, it would make him cry and make a fuss, which would affect other people.\” .\” What he actually wants is his parents\’ attention. He hopes that his parents will understand his feelings and accept them patiently. When children throw tantrums, we often teeter on the edge of making a mistake. Why do children have bad tempers? Because most parents make mistakes at one time or another. Replace your child\’s emotions with your own. This is where parents make the biggest mistake, which is to impose their own feelings on their children. \”I think you should be happy now, because I feel good.\” \”Don\’t you see how hard it is for me to take you? Why can\’t you be more obedient?\” \”You are always making trouble like this, I think you are. If you are messing around, you are looking for a beating.\”…Many of these situations are based on \”my\” feelings without taking into account the child\’s true feelings. usSometimes you feel that your children are being unreasonable. In fact, this \”reason\” is often the standard of the parents, not the standards of the child. Only see the child\’s positive emotions and refuse to accept the child\’s negative emotions. You can see when your child is smiling and happy, and you are willing to play with your child and have fun. But when the child cries, he is immediately scolded and not allowed to cry. If a child says he is scared, he is said to be timid. If the child says he doesn\’t like it, just say how good it is, how good it is, and the child must accept it. Know that these negative emotions are valid and need to be accepted. It\’s easy to lose control of your emotions, just at the drop of a hat. Why do we often fail to control our temper? If you think back carefully, you will find that this is closely related to your childhood and the original family you lived in. Everyone has some emotional landmines buried in their hearts, some more, some less. Some people are constantly clearing mines, while others are accumulating more and more mines. Children\’s behavior often becomes a trigger, detonating the emotional landmines you have buried. And such parents often plant as many emotional landmines in their children\’s hearts. Many years later, you will find that your child is exactly like you. It hurts your pain. What should we do when faced with a child with a bad temper? 1. Be patient and accept it, and find the reason from the child’s perspective. Is the child feeling uncomfortable, or is his true inner desire not being understood? There are good and bad emotions. Don\’t refuse to ignore bad emotions, but face your children\’s bad emotions. Please be patient and accept it. 2. Teach children to recognize emotions and express them. Parents need to help their children learn to describe their feelings and express their true needs. For example, when children are angry, guide them to express their feelings. Some children will say that I feel bad and want to hit others; some children will say that I want to smash everything I see. When your child can actively describe it in words, congratulations, your child has begun to have the ability to manage emotions. To help children understand emotions, parent-child reading is a better way. Use books to let children understand emotional language. Moreover, stories are often microcosms of the real world. Children can identify different emotions from stories and understand how people deal with different emotions such as anger, fear, happiness, and sadness. 3. Parents should examine themselves and see how their children are growing up. A child\’s temper is closely related to his parents. A parent who loves to lose his temper often ends up educating children who love to lose their temper. Children always like to imitate their parents\’ words and deeds. If the parents have a bad temper, the child\’s personality will not be too gentle. Children who are raised by parents who are emotional and lose their temper often have more emotional problems. Of course, don\’t think that children who lose their temper are bad, and children who never lose their temper are \”good\” children. In fact, children\’s emotional depression is very harmful to their growth. The biggest fear is that in order to please their parents, children will ignore their true feelings or even give up on themselves. One mother said that her child seems to be very sensible. No matter what happens, he keeps it to himself. He doesn\’t like to share with others whether he is happy or unhappy. He is wronged at school and gets into trouble with children. These things, the child Never told her. Ask him what he isSay nothing. Such children look quiet and sensible, but in fact they have no self-confidence inside, often cannot find themselves, and are prone to psychological problems. For example, if emotions are held in the heart for a long time, children become depressed. Some psychological research points out that children who are excessively depressed and lackluster have a greater chance of suffering from depression as adults. The child\’s emotions may seem to be the child\’s problem, but in fact they are directly related to the family and parents. Helping children manage their emotions may seem to be for the sake of the children, but in the end it is you who will be successful. And in this process, we need to squat down, be patient, and be patient again. Listen to your child’s heart…