Ma Yili is not Luo Zijun, but her \”single mother\” parenting experience makes her children more happy

During this period of time, all the posts on my circle of friends were \”The First Half of My Life\”. I have been raising a baby and writing articles at the same time. I haven\’t followed dramas for a long time. This time, it was because of my beloved Uncle Dao Ming that I picked up the second half of my life. Finished reading part of it fast forward. As the plot of \”falling in love with my best friend\’s boyfriend\” was played out, everyone no longer helped Zijun scold the mistress. In the group, some supported Tang Jing, some supported Zijun, and some scolded He Han. The quarrel was endless. I don’t have a team to stand on, so I just watch this drama and don’t take it seriously. What attracted me to finish watching the plot was not only Uncle Dao Ming, but also Luo Zijun\’s daily life as a single mother and her son. Because I am also a mother, when I see couples getting divorced, what worries me most is the situation of their children. It is not just a question of who will raise the child, but more importantly, what kind of attitude will the father and mother, who are no longer a family, use to get along with the child. Although many people are scolding Luo Zijun as a \”green tea bitch\”, in terms of protecting and educating her children after the divorce, she has done what many divorced couples cannot. ★ I hate that man who has changed his mind, but I don’t say a bad word about him in front of my children. Luo Zijun was heartbroken when he first heard Chen Junsheng say \”divorce\”. There was no use in trying to stay, and there was no use in begging. When she finally made up her mind to say goodbye to this marriage, she hated Chen Junsheng in her heart. But she dealt with such deep resentment very well and did not show any trace of it in front of Ping\’er. When the mother and son moved out of their original home and moved into the old house bought by Chen Junsheng, Ping\’er asked her mother aggrievedly why her father wanted them to live in such a dilapidated house. If it were an ordinary woman, faced with such a problem, her heart would be full of resentment, and her words would inevitably include a gun and a stick. But Zijun avoided the important matter and did not mention his father, only the house. The next day, Ping\’er questioned again on the way to school: \”Why did dad let us move so far away from school and let us take the bus?\” Zijun answered like this – a sentence floated in the barrage. He said Ping\’er was \”ignorant, do you know your father doesn\’t want you anymore?\” It made me feel sad. Think about it: Dad doesn’t want us anymore, you don’t have a dad anymore… For a young child, what words are more lethal than this? On the second night of moving, Ping\’er was still clamoring to go back to his original home. Tang Jing was a little angry and answered Ping\’er like this – Ping\’er\’s reaction was in line with a child\’s way of thinking. He couldn\’t understand what \”someone else lives in the house over there\” meant. Tang Jing became anxious and told the truth. Zijun stopped her immediately, and then used a mother\’s simplest and primitive way to comfort the sad and overwhelmed child. I once read this sentence in a book: \”The best love a father has for his children is a mother who loves his children; the best love a mother has for her children is a father who appreciates her children.\” This sentence is a good interpretation of a child. Concept – half of a child comes from the father and half from the mother. The three of them are a whole. Even if they cannot live together, they should be connected to each other with love and respect as a bond. Divorce means that a family of three will no longer live together; and because one party cheats and the marriage breaks down, the relationship between husband and wife is often like fire and water. I have seen too many couples who continue to pass on their resentment towards their spouse to their children and let their childrenThe image of the father or mother in the mind has completely collapsed. In the end, the person punished is not the heartless ex-husband or ex-wife, but the child he loves most, and it is likely to cause the child\’s character defects. Marriage can be compromised, but not at the expense of harming children. It is not easy to do this, just like a monologue of Luo Zijun in the play – ★ He was heartbroken by his parents-in-law who \”robbed their children\”, but he never tried to block the family relationship between the children and them. When Chen Junsheng and Luo Zijun were divorcing, Ping\’er\’s grandparents came to Luo Zijun and ostensibly advised their son not to divorce. But as they spoke, they changed the subject and stated that no matter what happened, they would take good care of Ping\’er and keep Ping\’er safe. Raise your son well. Only then did Luo Zijun realize that the old couple were here to fight for custody rights, and he quickly argued that Ping\’er was his son and of course he had to raise him. However, Grandpa Ping\’er\’s words completely chilled her heart, and she realized that \”this world is full of hypocrisy and calculations.\” The elders of the Chen family teamed up to \”rob their children\”, which was a serious blow to Zijun and also became a worry for her. From then on, whenever Ping\’er showed his attachment to his grandparents, Zijun became nervous. As a mother, I understand that feeling very well – the child is still young, and I can\’t give him a prosperous life for the time being. What if he is bribed by sugar-coated bullets over there? Although she was afraid, she still put her child\’s blood relationship with \”over there\” first. When Ping\’er said longingly that she wanted to see the room prepared by her grandparents, she concealed her conflict and sadness and finally agreed. After moving, Ping\’er longed to return to her original home more than once. Zijun did not avoid the problem, but also helped Ping\’er find a solution to the problem. Divorce is a matter between the couple. No matter what hatred they have towards their former partner, the blood and family ties that continue in the child cannot be denied – we can\’t go back, but for the child, the grandparents and father will always be there, as relatives. Always there. ★ The life of a single mother is very hard, but she never complains to her children. Luo Zijun moved Ping\’er out of the big house. From then on, he had no nanny to take care of him. He went to work during the day and took care of the children at night. In order to make up for the gap, he would sometimes study until late at night. Even with the support of a strong circle of friends and her ex-husband always willing to help, this life of a self-reliant single parent is still much harder than the days when she had nothing to do with the sun. It was indeed difficult for her to adapt at first, but after becoming dependent on her children, she only revealed her pain in her inner monologue and never complained in front of her friends, relatives and children. She was about to change jobs and had a lot of new things to learn. She stayed up late at night to study. Heping\’er had such a conversation. Because she had to work overtime and couldn\’t celebrate Ping\’er\’s birthday, she calmly explained the situation to her child and did not hesitate to apologize. The child is emotional, but she is not anxious or annoyed, and does not talk about her own fatigue. She just discusses the matter and explains to the child why her mother has to work overtime. Her thoughts should be like this – if there is a problem in the marriage, it is my own business and has nothing to do with the child; fighting for the custody of the child and keeping the child by her side is so that the child can feel the mother\’s love at all times. It’s not about letting children be kidnapped by their mother’s love and dedication; I do have a hard life, butThis is a choice I made myself, and I am willing to work hard for it. There is no need for my children to feel guilty or pressured by it. ★ Even if life is difficult, it will not stop children from yearning for a good life. No matter what the situation, it is important to fill children\’s hearts with longing for beauty, as it is the force that keeps them moving forward. When the marriage ends, Luo Zijun has to say goodbye to his life as a rich wife, and Ping\’er also has to say goodbye to the rich man he once was. \”It is easy to go from frugality to luxury, but it is difficult to go from luxury to frugality.\” Children do not know how to hide it, and their dissatisfaction and discomfort with the sharp decline in quality of life will be expressed in the most direct way. When the mother and son moved into the old house, knowing that Ping\’er would definitely be emotional, this is how Zijun introduced the new home. Ping\’er refused to live in the room because it was too dark. Zijun\’s answer was simple but very convincing. After all, they are children, and Ping\’er can\’t figure out why he and his mother can\’t go back to their original home. Zijun\’s answer is the wisest and most positive explanation of \”being divorced\” that I have ever seen. Luo Zijun has been passing on a message to children: We can live a better life through our own efforts. As long as we work hard enough, one day we can have what we want. Maybe it’s because he can always feel his mother’s positive attitude that Ping’er always has a bright smile on his face, right? ★ Whenever adults have a dispute, they will definitely take their children away and prevent them from being bystanders in the adults’ war. Although Ping\’er in the play can have a temper tantrum, he has an innocent and cute smile on his face most of the time, while the other baby is not in such a good condition and always cries every time he appears. That is Luo Ziqun and Bai Guang\’s baby. The couple had a small quarrel every three days and a big quarrel every two days, and would get violent when they got anxious. While they were arguing and fighting, the baby next to them cried heartbreakingly. I shed tears when I saw this scene. I really wanted to pick him up and give him some love and strength. This is a taboo for parents – venting emotions in front of children at will, exposing one\’s ugliest side, causing children who can\’t tell right from wrong to fall into fear and helplessness, swinging between their dearest parents, not knowing themselves. Where to go. Luo Zijun\’s native family has many problems, and quarrels are the norm in this family. But she did a good job in protecting Ping\’er. Whenever her family had a dispute, she would take Ping\’er to another room to play, away from the ugly battlefield of adults. The husband becomes someone else\’s, but at least the child is one\’s own. When you are unable to preserve your own marital happiness, you should do your best to preserve the integrity of your children\’s lives, and invite your children to work with you to create a better life.