Ma Yili’s Weibo post received 130,000 likes, revealing many parents’ parenting myths

The day before yesterday, Ma Yili posted a Weibo post, and soon it had 130,000 likes! This remark triggered heated discussions among many mothers about their children sleeping independently: @小雪秋88: “My two daughters sleep together, the older one is 11 years old and the younger one is 5 years old. Last year, I started preparing a bed for them both to sleep in. Every night The two of them would whisper for a long time. When they fell asleep naturally, they didn\’t know what they were talking about. I didn\’t stop them because they went to bed early. My sister and I were like this when we were young. We couldn\’t finish talking and just looked at them. I think of myself when I was a child.\” @贝贝 is Mommy\’s Favorite: \”I agree. Although my daughter now sleeps in a separate room, she says with a particularly aggrieved look every night: \”Mom, wait until I fall asleep.\” Walk. \”She would sometimes touch me when she was asleep. Sometimes she would run to my room until midnight and call \”Mom\” and ask her what was wrong. She said she asked me to stay with her! I was very confused, but it wasn\’t because I was soft-hearted. Which one is suitable for her… Why don\’t you slow down a little! Don\’t be too bookish, let\’s grow together.\” @手 slip丝丝丝丝: \”I thought it was right before I had children. I have a child myself and is now 1 year old. Half, I don’t think that the sense of security comes from sleeping with me or not. The sense of security comes from daily life. It does not mean that if you are not satisfied with something, you will lose your sense of security. Especially for babies, they should be allowed to sleep in a crib. , to avoid accidents caused by adults sleeping.\” 02 In fact, separate beds have nothing to do with independence. Judging from the long history of sleep, social judgments on whether children should sleep independently have changed. In Western countries, including Europe and North America, before the late 19th century, letting children sleep alone was an unconventional and somewhat deviant idea. It was the normal \”way to sleep\” for the whole family to squeeze into the same bed. Later, due to health concerns, families sleeping together could easily transmit diseases, so independent sleeping became increasingly popular. Of course, it is more due to privacy considerations, thinking that sleeping independently is a symbol of civilization.\” Dr. Richard Ferber, associate professor at Harvard Medical School and director of the Pediatric Sleep Disease Center at Boston Children\’s Hospital, USA, Based on 30 years of children\’s sleep research, it has been found that children will neither become insecure because they sleep alone or sleep with siblings, nor will they become less independent and self-care because they sleep with their parents. As long as it works , we can choose the most comfortable way for our children and ourselves. However, because children will sleep alone sooner or later, if parents choose to sleep with their children, they must consider two important issues: when to sleep separately, and how to sleep separately. . There are different opinions on when to sleep separately. Some people think that children can sleep separately when they are 6 months old. If it is later, the children will become anxious because they are separated from their parents; others suggest that after one year old and after complete weaning, Even after 3 years old. Dr. Farber believes that there is no standard age for separating beds, but parents should remember: the older the children are, the harder it is to correct their sleeping habits. For how to sleep separately, you can read this article last year My experience in the article → At what age should children sleep in separate beds? How? Win the tug-of-warWar, you need to know these… 03 Intuitive parenting, let go of anxiety In fact, Ma Yili\’s words have triggered more discussions on mothers\’ parenting concepts. @XianMM: \”It hurts my heart. It\’s so well said. Responding to the little one\’s emotional needs in a timely manner is what a mother should do most. You should really cherish this time when you can accompany her all the time. After all, it is so important for the parent-child relationship. The days are getting fewer and fewer. When the child needs us, don’t let him down, put away those irritable emotions, and accompany him to grow up with your heart. …\” @Melody-Yaoyao: \”My baby is 3 years old. I watched it at that time A series of scientific theories, most of them are useless now. Raising children with heart and warm companionship is always better than raising them coldly and following the book. As the old saying goes, \”The eldest child is raised according to the book, and the second child is raised as he pleases.\” In addition to ridicule, many of them are because of Mom, you have some experience.\” This reminds me of a book I read recently, \”The Power of Intuitive Parenting: Let Go of Anxiety and Cultivate Children for the Future World\” by Dr. Stephen Camarata, a world-renowned child development expert. . He wrote in the book that the rapid development and progress in medical treatment and technology in modern society have brought huge benefits to children\’s growth, but at the same time, parents also feel that the pressure has doubled. An article in the British \”Guardian\” wrote about a common confusion among people: \”Historically, Westerners have finally gotten rid of the threat of children dying early. Why is it that at this time, the anxiety of raising children is so rampant?\” In fact, the reason is also Simple, because no one knows where this globalized, interconnected, and rapidly changing world will go. As a result, parents\’ collective anxiety arises. All kinds of books, programs, products, plans, and \”experts\” have emerged, and various equipment manufacturers are vying to claim that they provide the necessary help to raise the smartest, healthiest, and best children… All of this has left many parents at a loss. , I strongly feel that we must succeed in this most important job, and we must adjust our parenting methods to ensure that our children have the best future; we must let our children seize all the time to learn as much knowledge as possible, and must not miss any critical periods or sensitive periods. Period, otherwise it will be slow step by step, step by step! Dr. Cammarata believes that this kind of anxiety seriously hinders parents and children from enjoying the joy of living in the present, and also masks an important fact: raising children to be smart, confident, curious, talented, and still remain as adults. That way, just focus on tapping into your natural parental instincts. As parents, we already have the “state of the art” technology at our disposal to “wire” our children’s brains and cultivate a lifelong love of exploration and learning. Therefore, we only need to give our children natural intuitive parenting, pay attention to the children, enjoy the moment, and respond most naturally to whatever the children are doing. Every child is unique, and there are no identical children, so there is no parenting method suitable for everyone. Therefore, simple imitation of \”raising according to the book\” is often ineffective. Learning various parenting concepts and methodsMore importantly, we, who know our children best, follow their guidance and respond lovingly, naturally and consciously, without neglecting or worrying. Complex parenting sounds simple, as long as you do one thing well: companionship and care. Take care of children\’s basic needs, feed them, hold them, talk to them, play with them, laugh with them… because we already have all the conditions to properly cultivate and teach children, that is, love and care , common sense and a positive worldview. I really like the words of Barbara, the wife of former US President Bush Sr. and the mother of George W. Bush: When raising children, every day is endless, but each year passes quickly. Cherish this preciousness and give your children the most natural upbringing.