Make it easier for children to grow up

This morning I saw a very heartbreaking video. In the video, the 16-year-old high school senior girl looks very manic, shouting and moving, while the mother of the child is lying in the corridor of the hospital crying heartbrokenly. Hearing her mother\’s cry, she really felt like her sky was falling. The video says that it is because the college entrance examination is approaching and there is too much pressure. Can the college entrance examination really bring so much pressure to children? It can make a child go crazy all day and night without rest. 52 compulsory lessons for Chinese parents during the critical period of children\’s growth mp301, where does the pressure on children come from? The college entrance examination is just a selection system. The selection system has been in existence since the Sui Dynasty, and every country has its own selection system. system. It\’s normal to be stressed and nervous when facing exams, because after all, years of hard work are just one step away. It would be a bit exaggerated to say that the college entrance examination only brings pressure. If the college entrance examination can make children become like this, then the system should be abolished. The pressure does not only come from the college entrance examination itself, but also from many deeper reasons. I think there are three other reasons that are more common: First, pressure from the environment is actually your own pressure. Children will also think about their future. Starting from adolescence, they will think deeply about what they want to do in the future and what they are suitable for. I will also observe the learning status of my peers, and I will feel pressure when there is a gap, because every child hopes that he or she will be excellent and motivated. The second is the pressure from parents. It is unknown how the mother in the video put pressure on her child, but from the mother\’s collapsed state, she can feel that her child is her sky, and when her child is sick, her sky falls. It also reminds me of a friend who once told me that after moving to a new home, the neighbor downstairs had approached her several times, saying that her child was taking the high school entrance exam and wanted to give her a quiet learning environment. There is a 2-year-old child at a friend\’s house. He is at the age where he likes to run and jump, which makes him feel very embarrassed. Mothers take their children\’s learning as a big deal and even ask others to serve their children. Studying is a very common thing, but it is made extremely grand, which invisibly puts great pressure on children. The third is the pressure received from teachers. I remember when my child was in elementary school, he came back and said to me: \”I don\’t like the teacher who always points out points when giving lectures! This is a question mark, that question is a mark question, and learning is not entirely for the exam.\” The teacher takes the marks seriously. It\’s very important. Scores are also a tool to test teachers\’ teaching achievements. I very much hope that children can get good scores. In order to make children pay attention to learning, teachers will also tell children about the complexity of society and the hardships of life. On the one hand, children cannot find fun in learning, but on the other hand, they feel that learning is very important, so they feel a lot of pressure. 02. The negative impact of stress. Everyone’s ability to digest stress is different. When you have the ability to cope with it, appropriate stress can improve efficiency. When the stress exceeds your ability, stress becomes a burden. Stress affects a person\’s mood, which in turn affects physical health. When the pressure is too great and you cannot digest it, you will have negative emotions such as depression, irritability, pessimism, and fear. Suffering from it all year roundThere are more and more people suffering from depression, and even the detection rate of depression among primary school students has reached a very high rate. Although the medical community has given many reasons, including internal sources, external sources, cowardice, etc., I feel that the most fundamental reason is stress. Being emotionally irritable is actually a way to vent stress. It is better to vent rather than keep it in your heart, but it will also bring some negative effects to yourself, causing others to give you some negative comments, which will increase your pressure. Venting doesn’t really reduce stress. Research from the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta found that 90% of diseases are related to emotions. If you stay in negative emotions for a long time, diseases will come. 03. How to reduce pressure on children. If parents do not put pressure on their children, they will reduce half of their psychological pressure. First, we are ourselves, and secondly, our father and mother. As parents, we have the responsibility to live a good life, adjust our state and emotions, and create a warm, harmonious and family atmosphere. No matter how rough the weather is outside, children can feel safe and warm when they get home, and their stress will be reduced a lot. What needs to be reminded is that such a life and atmosphere are lived by ourselves, not deliberately created for the sake of our children, otherwise it will be counterproductive. Love children unconditionally. We love the child himself, not just the child who meets our expectations, the child who is good enough. Although there is nothing wrong with us expecting our children to be excellent, you have to believe that your child also wants to be excellent. If he has not achieved it for the time being, it may be because the time has not come, or it may be beyond his reach. All we can do is wait and accept. Be a tree hole for children, someone to talk to, empathize with children, and provide help when children need help. There are needs behind children\’s emotions. We learn to see the needs behind children\’s emotions and ask the children whether they need their parents to do something? Helping children with their needs does not mean helping randomly according to one\’s own wishes. 04. Treat children’s stress-reducing behaviors correctly. Everyone has the instinct of self-regulation, and will find appropriate stress-reducing behaviors when they are stressed. When my child was in elementary school, he liked to draw violent paintings for a while. At that time, I was very anxious and always worried that there was something wrong with my child\’s values. I was wise enough not to interfere too much with Zi. I showed his painting to a painting psychology teacher, and the teacher\’s answer comforted me a lot. She said that the child\’s paintings were complete and detailed, and there were no problems. If he liked painting, let him paint. Some parenting experts on the Internet also said that painting is also an outlet and expression of emotions, which is very beneficial to physical and mental health. Don\’t pay too much attention to what your children draw. Nowadays, parents are particularly worried about their children playing electronic products. Some children even drop out of school to play games at home, which makes parents extremely anxious. In fact, children can reduce stress in this way, which means that children will not have psychological problems. If even this exit is blocked, then the child\’s pressure can only be kept in his heart, and sooner or later the day will come when he can no longer bear it. Therefore, we can\’t just look at the child\’s behavior, we must understand the child\’s situation and be tolerant to the child. It is precisely because of these behaviors in children that we parents have the opportunity to wake up, so as to learn and grow, learn scientific educational concepts and methods, gain a better parent-child relationship, and gain a healthier child. 05. Make it easier for children to grow up. In this era, we adults are feeling unprecedented pressure, and we all understand that too much pressure will cause a lot of trouble to ourselves. In fact, children face no less pressure than adults, and children have not developed a good ability to deal with pressure. Too much pressure can easily crush children, or make children lose their ambition. Children\’s growth does not require a lot of pressure, but what children need more is a relatively relaxed growth environment. A child\’s growth is not achieved overnight, and pulling out a child\’s growth will only harm it instead of encouraging it. Give children a natural environment, provide reasonable irrigation, and let them grow naturally.