Mom, are you the nanny?

Years ago, when I was in college, I met a mother and daughter who left a deep impression on me. It was on a cruise ship. Although the scenery on the shore was beautiful, everyone\’s attention was attracted by a little girl. Because this is really a very beautiful little girl. She looks like seven or eight years old and is wearing a princess dress that is as beautiful as her. Her well-groomed makeup and sweet smile make this little girl full of confidence. She was posing on the edge of the boat with her mother as her photographer. I marveled at the beauty of this girl. And when her mother turned around, I was even more impressed by her beauty. With her exquisite facial features and tall figure, it can be seen that the little girl\’s beauty comes from her mother. What\’s rare is that this good-looking face exudes a peaceful and beautiful temperament. There are such beautiful mothers and daughters in the world! That\’s what I admire most, what a woman should live like – a child, confident and sunny. Mother, mature and beautiful. This mother\’s perfect state has become my entire vision for life planning. I am determined that my future self will be like that mother, beautiful together with my baby. However, reality and dreams are always far apart. Fast forward many years, when I was holding Guoguo and breastfeeding with disheveled hair and exhaustion. Occasionally I think of that mother, and I feel ashamed. I found that there was such a huge gap between me and others, and that kind of beauty became a luxury that I could only dream of. How does she maintain her beauty and elegance in such a tedious and repetitive family life? I started to give myself various reasons, \”Maybe that mother has nannies and elderly people at home to help. Maybe the child is older and has more time for herself, maybe it\’s because she only has one baby, and I take care of two children by myself.\” .\” This self-deceptive thought greatly comforted my heart and gave me thousands of reasons to give up on myself. Several years passed in a flash like this. Until one day, my husband and I went to Blue Harbor with our children. It was early spring and I had not yet had time to put on my spring clothes. I have been raising children all year round. To save trouble and comfort, and to cover up my deformed figure, most of my wardrobe was filled with casual sportswear. The one I am wearing was brought back to me by my husband from a business trip. It has been washed so many times that it even faded a bit. It’s been a few years since I’ve been to such a colorful and fashionable street. There were so many handsome men and beautiful women walking on this street. They were so beautiful. I suddenly felt a little out of place. A feeling of inferiority suddenly spread in my heart. At this time, my husband’s words hurt my heart again. After a fashionably dressed young man passed by, my husband suddenly turned around and said to me: \”My dear, let me buy you some clothes. Look, the clothes you are wearing are so old.\” This sentence completely shocked me. self-esteem. As if I was vomiting with someone, I said to my husband: \”You watch the kids while I buy some clothes.\” So, I dove into the mall and never came out. When I walked out carrying large and small bags with the help of the shopping guide. I don\’t even know exactly which clothes I bought. It\’s more about catharsis than consumption. I had a big fight with my husband when I got home because of this. I accused my husband of being picky about me as a victim, and heGong Jue\’s matter was not as serious as he thought. He just made an opinion as to why he was so angry. After calming down, I asked myself and found that shopping like this did not make me feel better. So who am I angry with? Be yourself. Because I didn’t live the way I wanted in my heart, I was angry with myself. After all these years, why didn’t I do better to myself? Why do you have to try to save yourself only after the gap with others appears? Once people leave society, they will feel lost. Look at the classmates and friends around you. Some have become middle-level leaders in TV stations, some have become directors and won international awards, and some have become well-known hosts. But look at yourself, it seems that except for these two children And family, nothing more. This gap exists in my body and is very tense. If my family touches it accidentally, it will be a magnitude 10 earthquake. But this is my choice. If I continue to feel sorry for myself like this, what will happen to the result? ? I am grateful for the awakening this incident brought to me. One of my best friends is a working mother with a very successful career and a strong personality. On Valentine\’s Day and Mother\’s Day, if your husband and children don\’t do anything. She would buy herself a bouquet of flowers. Once he heard me complain that no one sent flowers, so he ordered a bouquet for me the next day. That bouquet of flowers gave me a great surprise and touch. I suddenly discovered a misunderstanding in my thinking, yes, flowers, why do they have to be given by others? Can\’t you send a bouquet yourself? Not for anything else, just for my momentary good mood. That is affirmation and praise for yourself. Thank yourself, even if life is boring, you can still make it interesting. I have heard many people say in the past that after becoming a mother, be careful that your husband dislikes the yellow-faced woman in the family. Yes, people are visual animals and they all like glamorous individuals, but you have your choice. You can choose to be a yellow-faced woman; or you can choose to live a wonderful life. If you don\’t cherish yourself, who do you expect to cherish you? I traveled to Japan at the beginning of this year, and I had long heard that Japanese women are very concerned about their image. Even some housewives’ husbands don’t know how they look after taking off makeup. I also see many grandmas on the street or in the subway. Although their hair is gray and their backs are hunched, and they walk slowly and staggering on the road, these old people, without exception, are all well-dressed and wearing exquisite makeup. Some also wear jewelry and other hand accessories. I admire their high demands on themselves and their uncompromising attitude towards life. Maybe not everyone can be born with beauty, but the reason why the mother and daughter left me such wonderful memories is not just because of their good looks. It\’s because of the self-confidence and the strong aura that emanates from within. You may not be a celebrity-looking mother, but at least you have white lips and red teeth and an elegant manner. You don’t have to pursue brand-name luxury goods, but at least you should dress appropriately and groom yourself appropriately. To love yourself well is not to feel sorry for yourself or to feel sorry for yourself, but to affirm yourself in your heart, accept yourself, and always look your best. My eldest son Guagua is not a very sensitive child. But one time, he came back from kindergarten and asked me, \”MomMom, do you work as a nanny? \”When he asked this question, there was a trace of disappointment and grievance in his eyes. I asked him: \”Why do you ask this? He said: \”Because many children today are talking about their mothers\’ work. I think the work you do every day is the same as that of a nanny?\” \”So I said you were a nanny. I was not mentally prepared. I was shocked by his answer. After that, I spent a long time telling him about my past. I told him: \”My mother used to work in a TV station. Because of you, my mother quit her job in order to better accompany you. After listening to this, Gua’s eyes lit up and he wanted to see photos of my previous work. I took out the programs I had shot and watched them with him, and told him: “Mom is also working now, but it’s different from her previous job. Mom now has more time at her disposal, so when you come back every day, she will be with you wholeheartedly. You just think that your mother just cooks for you every day and does your homework with you. Actually, you didn\’t see it when mom was working. Mom feels very happy now that she can spend most of her time with you and your brother. \”I talked a lot with him that day. I was glad that I didn\’t give up on myself prematurely and only acted as his \”nanny\” so that he had no support for his thoughts. When I went to bed at night, he hugged me and said: \”Mom, I love you. , you are my favorite look. \”You see, the little child, although he doesn\’t say it, has been sensitive to the fact that his mother has her role in this society. He hopes that his mother is not only a person who can take care of his food and drink, but also his mother\’s role in this society. I also hope that his mother will be a valuable, confident and beautiful mother who makes him proud. So, from then on, I told myself that you are not just someone’s mother or someone’s wife, you should be yourself. . Because this is what every child loves most about you.