\”Mom, do you go to work just to sweep the floor and cook?\” The child\’s words made me want to cry.

Because I am too busy, I recently found a part-time assistant, and she is the child mother. The child\’s mother is also a full-time mother. She comes to my house to \”work\” every day in her spare time between doing laundry, cooking, picking up and delivering her children. Although the income is meager, he is very motivated. She told 5-year-old Tongtong, \”Mom is a working person now.\” During the summer vacation recently, Tongtong was at home every day and was quite reluctant to send her mother to work. When she said goodbye to her mother that day, she asked: \”Mom, do you go to work to help them sweep the floor and cook?\” Tong\’s mother was stunned for half a minute before she understood what the child meant: It turns out that in Tongtong\’s eyes, mother only knows Laundry, cooking and sweeping the floor are what my mother does at work. Tong\’s mother suddenly felt a little angry, but more sad: \”I am a good young man, but in the eyes of my daughter, I can only sweep the floor and cook?!\” Tong\’s mother was born in the 1980s, ten years younger than me. He is also energetic and beautiful, and he is indeed a good young man. However, I understand how she feels when she is so \”despised\” by her daughter. A few years ago, I took my daughter Xiaoxi to a small gathering of classmates. When she came back, she asked me: \”Are those all your classmates?\” I said yes, and she asked me again: \”Are they all teachers in school? \”Yes!\” I waited for her next words. \”You went to school together. Why can they be teachers but you can\’t?\” She hesitated for a while before asking me, as if she was afraid of hurting my self-esteem. \”I can also be a teacher!\” I was eager to defend myself. Xiao Xi looked at me in disbelief. \”Do you think mother only takes care of the children and does housework?\” Xiao Xi nodded. I suddenly felt a little aggrieved and couldn\’t help but tell my child: Mom used to be a department manager in a large company, worked in sales in the IT industry, and worked as a regional supervisor in a foreign company… She also stood on the podium and gave lectures. . If I had not quit midway and persisted, I would also be an urban white-collar worker. If you like, if circumstances permit, your mother can also be a teacher in school, just like Aunt Zhao and Aunt Zhang you met today, and be the knowledgeable person you admire most. \”What will you be when you grow up?\” is a question every child is asked. When she was young, Xiao Xi said: \”I want to be a mother when I grow up.\” Later, her sister Xiao Nuo had a similar answer. I once felt warmed by this sentence. I felt that this was the children\’s recognition of me and that I was their idol. However, if you think about it carefully, what does the mother look like in the child\’s mind? In other words, who do they want themselves to be in the future? In the eyes of children, I live with oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, and shit and piss every day. The mother she saw was always bare-faced and unkempt, sometimes even unkempt, wearing casual and comfortable clothes, and even pajamas all day long when she didn\’t go out. She has never seen me wearing business attire, wearing high heels, painting my eyebrows and lips, and looking energetic. She only saw her mother doing laundry and cooking, but she didn’t know that I also held meetings and wrote reports. She only saw her mother reading picture books and singing children\’s songs, but she didn\’t know that I also studied hard with professional books. What I say to her the most every day is: Hurry up to eat, take a bath, go to bed… A sloppy girl who only knows how to do housework and yells and urges her all day long.Women, is this what they want to be in the future? Women who are not beautiful in appearance, have insufficient abilities, and are in a bad mood are their idols? I couldn\’t help but feel ashamed. No wonder after her child entered kindergarten, her ideal career became a teacher. Freud\’s psychoanalytic theory emphasizes the influence of childhood and believes that many people\’s psychological and behavioral problems can be traced back to childhood. Now we are paying attention to the role of the original family. Countless psychologists, experts and experts are emphasizing the importance of the original family. Parents are the natural models for children to imitate. Their words and deeds, their eating preferences, dressing, aesthetic tastes, etc., will all have a profound impact on their children in a subtle way. Still remember the story of Jing Yidan and the shepherd boy? The sheep-herding boy told her: \”Herding sheep is to make money, making money is to marry a wife, marrying a wife is to have babies, and having babies is to herd the sheep…\” As the saying goes: Dragons beget dragons, phoenixes beget phoenixes, and mice\’s children can make holes. From a biological point of view, this is determined by genetics. However, from a human point of view, in addition to genes, the differences between people are mostly determined by environmental factors. Children from business families usually have higher financial intelligence and are more sensitive to business opportunities; children whose parents are in politics are more likely to have higher political awareness and handle interpersonal relationships more smoothly; children of literati usually love reading more, and children of celebrities are more There is a high chance of entering the entertainment industry. What about the children of housewives? Do I want to train my daughter to be a housewife? After realizing this, I decided to change myself. With two children, I can\’t go out to work, and I can\’t establish the image of a professional elite in my child\’s mind, but at least I can avoid giving her the image of a dirty, anxious, resentful, yellow-faced woman. In the past, I liked to wear pajamas at home and only change clothes when I had to go out. Now, every day, I get up early and change into smart clothes, comb my hair, wash my face, skin care, and occasionally put on light makeup like a mother who goes to work. Every mother likes to dress her children beautifully. In the same way, children also want their mothers to be beautiful. Not long ago, Xiao Nuo once said that he hoped that I would wear a skirt every day. A beautiful and fashionable mother will make her children proud. Since I started my official account, I have told my two children that this is my job, and I have made the study room my fixed office location. Sometimes Xiaonuo is out of school and I haven\’t finished my work yet. I will say seriously: \”I still have some work to finish. It will take about half an hour. Please play by yourself first.\” The tone is nothing more than trying to create a little atmosphere and a sense of ritual to let the children understand: Mommy also has a job, and her job is also very important. An enterprising mother will make her children diligent. I hope my children can see my efforts. In addition, I try to squeeze in time to read with my children, she reads her extracurricular books, and I read my parenting, psychology or philosophy books. I have to let my children understand that in addition to picture books, nursery rhymes and other reading materials, I can also read professional books. Many people believe that women dress up beautifully to attract men. According to this point of view, women do not need to dress up after getting married. \”You already have a husband, and you still dress up and do it so beautifully.\”What? Who do you want to seduce? \”To exaggerate, it is simply \”immodest\” or \”shameless\” for a married woman to dress up beautifully. In fact, most women are members of the Appearance Association. We like all beautiful things, including of course our beautiful selves. Dressing up beautifully will make Make women happier and more confident. Having a good mood can reduce anxiety, have a better attitude towards children and family, and a good attitude will get good feedback… This is the beginning of a virtuous cycle. Similarly, some people think , studying is to find a job. According to this view, stay-at-home mothers don’t need to study. “You don’t work anyway, and it’s useless to study anyway. Why study so much? \”As a result, many stay-at-home mothers have stopped growing themselves and are stuck in trivial matters every day. Occasionally, they would rather catch up on soap operas or social media posts when they have some free time. In fact, reading more and learning more are not only for Children setting a good example can enhance our value, broaden our horizons, broad-mindedness, and long-term vision. A knowledgeable and well-organized mother is full of positive energy, harmonious husband and wife, and harmonious parent-child harmony. This is another virtuous cycle The beginning. Treat full-time motherhood as a career, have requirements for yourself, have plans for the future, maintain your external image, and never forget about inner improvement. This is the correct way to start a full-time mother!