Mom, don’t guess what the boy is thinking.

If you ask a little boy, why do you lose your temper? His answer should be: I just want to lose my temper, and I don’t know why. A mother left a message saying that she was very annoyed recently because she didn’t know what was wrong with her son. He always gets angry at every turn, pouting his lips, and sometimes has big tears rolling down his face. The most important thing is that the child was not like this last year, but now that he is almost 6 years old, he has become so fragile. She thinks it shouldn’t be! Isn’t it said that the older you get, the stronger you become? Why do you cry so much instead? They say it’s hard to guess a girl’s thoughts. It\’s really hard to guess what this boy is thinking sometimes. When I saw this message, there happened to be an angry boy sitting next to me. He was kicking me there, fuming. The reason? I won\’t be able to find it for a while. You ask him why he is angry. He just didn\’t say it. Don\’t think he did it on purpose. Because many times they really forget why they are angry. Sometimes, a mother may choose to step away a little when her child is having a tantrum. Then give a warning from a distance. Don\’t lose your temper over there! I asked you but you didn’t tell me, what’s going on? The rhythm is about to collapse. As a result, he remained indifferent. I sometimes pull him over. Tell him: \”Tell me carefully why you are angry.\” Of course, he will still resist in many cases. But he heard my words and responded a little bit. Sometimes it makes a humming sound, sometimes it moves its body. Then I continued to fight, but I couldn\’t \”give in\” to my parents so quickly. If the parents are wrong, they must hear an apology. In fact, it was really us who accidentally destroyed his small works or inner order. The adults are completely ignorant, but they blame the children for losing their temper. For example, my son was playing with his aunt on the sofa that day. Suddenly he got angry. Everyone didn\’t know what was going on. But that\’s where he got angry, saying bad aunt, bad aunt. I said you were so rude and my aunt would never be a guest again. Others also said why he is so angry and why is he like this? Didn\’t give him a good look. He still persisted and was angry. At this time, I put down what I was doing, went over and said to him: \”Dad is here to be the referee. What is the reason? You should tell me now.\” \”Auntie tore up my book.\” Then he Show me this little book. One page was torn. It turned out that when he was reading, his aunt wanted to take it over to see what the book was. It tore accidentally. Apparently no one noticed this detail and everyone was thinking about how to control him from losing his temper. Instead of understanding why the child lost his temper. As a result, the child was extremely angry. The adults were also furious and yelled. Many parents say that they are spoiling their children. Why should I talk to my child properly when he is angry? Because in the hearts of some parents, they always feel that their children are willful when they lose their temper, and they must use greater temper or authority to suppress them. If they suppress them, everything will be fine. But, have you really thought about why your child loses his temper? Especially boys, their ability to express emotions is weaker, and their little thoughts require more patience from their parents. In fact, when I lose my temper, I really don’t do it to make myself tired from crying. A normal child will not lose his temper casually. The child has a bad temper and oneAn important reason is lack of love. Children want to get their parents\’ attention by throwing tantrums. Research shows that the hard-to-accept truth is that the biggest source of anger in children is their ingrained belief that they are unloved. Of course, most parents love their children deeply. But why does it still make children feel like this? Because parents have not conveyed sincere love to their children\’s hearts. Make him feel ignored and no longer loved. For example, in many two-child families, the eldest baby and the younger darling compete for favor, and the eldest baby often becomes grumpy. Often he feels uneasy and needs to win his parents\’ attention again through such behavior. Sometimes, Xiaobao will also compete for the sole favor of his parents. I once picked up my children from kindergarten. A mother came to pick up her eldest child with her two-year-old son in hand. When my brother rushed out with his schoolbag on his back. The mother subconsciously walked towards him and let go of her little son\’s hand. Then my brother talked excitedly to his mother, and her mother focused all her attention on her brother. At this time, the little son behind him ran two steps behind his mother, then fell to his knees with a plop, and then cried loudly towards his mother. I could see the child\’s little thoughts at that time. He is competing for favor, and he is afraid of losing his mother\’s attention, because not having her mother\’s attention means to him that she no longer loves him. If a child\’s emotional needs are not met, his heart will feel like an empty emotional storage box. There will be no sense of security. Please don\’t hurt our boys. Because in the actual upbringing process, our education of boys is more rough and simple. Some fathers say that boys must be beaten because their skin is strong and can withstand beatings, but daughters cannot be beaten and must be taken good care of. And many parents think that boys have good ability to withstand pressure, so it doesn\’t matter if they speak harshly, he can handle it. Even completely ignoring the boy\’s inner feelings. Seeing the boy fall and get hurt, he said he must be brave and strong and not shed tears casually. When you see him losing his temper, you yell at him to give in. I think this can hone the child\’s strong will and cultivate the child\’s rules. But what’s the reality? Boys’ hearts are not stronger than girls’, and they are even more sensitive and fragile. In fact, sometimes when I see my son crying, especially in public places, I really want to slap his butt a few times. But I feel that beating and scolding like this will not be effective. Instead, it will make him cry and make a fuss, which will affect other people. When a child loses his temper, we test our parents. If you have a boy at home, you need to be more patient. Teach them to recognize emotions and allow them to release their emotions and express them. If he wants to cry, let him cry. Don\’t hold it in and pretend to be brave. Because boys need to learn brave character, they often get it from their own tempering in life and the influence of their father. And when acquiring these qualities, boys will become more active. Many times it is also labeled as ADHD. Mom, I really don’t have ADHD. Moms who have ever thought their son had ADHD, please raise your hands. After swiping it, I guess many mothers will raise their hands. Then when everyone has finished talking about their children, they put their hearts back in their stomachs. \”It turns out that every boy is similar! It seems thatI\’m overthinking it. \”Please let the boy move. Throughout human history, men have developed their skills and acquired survival skills through hunting. Many of us parents hope that our boys can sit quietly. This is really not easy. Because The boy\’s brain is like a beautiful maze of connections, waiting to connect numbers, distances, sizes, locations and directions. And the boy\’s mind is full of curiosity and creativity. The Creator \”added\” to boys 15 times more energy than girls. Boys have more testosterone, but serotonin, which makes people calm, is much lower in boys than girls. Therefore, boys are naturally more impulsive than girls and like adventurous activities. When raising a boy, the father must be more involved. Because the boy’s mind , you may be able to understand better. For example, why does he love monsters and dinosaurs? Why does he like all kinds of cars? Why does he secretly dismantle small objects at home? You must have done these things when you were a child. Sometimes he even deliberately asks you why We don’t have big grandmothers? Sometimes we speak a bunch of alien languages. This is a new world for mothers. Nowadays, many people say that Chinese men are becoming less and less masculine. Maybe we have too many restrictions on boys. They always ask their children to do what they want according to their own ideas. This suppresses the boy\’s nature. Mothers sometimes really can\’t understand the boys\’ thoughts. Then love them patiently and more. Dads should be more involved. A little bit.