\”Mom, I want to marry you\”, don\’t ignore your child\’s sensitive period of marriage

On the weekend, a friend brought his 4-year-old son to my house to play, and he quickly got to play with his daughter of the same age. My friend and I were chatting in the living room, and the two little guys were playing \”house.\” One pretended to be mother, the other pretended to be father, and had a great time. During dinner, a friend deliberately asked his son: \”Didn\’t you say you wanted to marry your mother when you grow up? Why are you someone else\’s father now?\” The friend\’s son replied: \”I won\’t marry you now. I\’ll wait until I get back.\” Knot.\” After hearing this, my friend and I both laughed. Sun Ruixue – Capturing the sensitive period of children pdf download [HD version] Picture source: \”Ponyo on the Cliff\” I remember that my daughter once said to me: \”I want to marry dad.\” In fact, this period is when children grow up A necessary stage in the process – the sensitive period of marriage. In \”Mom is Superman 3\”, Huo Siyan said to her best friend: \”Well, now we all have our own territory, including whether I belong to him and not to my father. It\’s all clearly distinguished.\” One night when Du Jiang came back, both of them had their own territory. Du Jiang was not allowed to sleep with his mother, and he even drove Du Jiang to the living room to sleep. Hu Ping, an expert on children\’s psychosexual development and sex education, said: Girls aged three or four will be particularly attached to their father, while boys will be particularly attached to their mother. This kind of Electra (Oedipus) performance is actually the process of the daughter and her father, and the son and her mother respectively practicing their ability to get along with each other. Through continuous \”practice\” with their parents, children will gradually develop into the opposite sex other than their parents. Games such as \”Marry and Play House\” are just the most direct ways for children to express their inner love. For example, when children want to play with a certain friend or like a certain friend, they may say: they want to marry him. The way children express love is simple and beautiful. It is completely different from the adult world\’s views on marriage and morality. It is just a simple expression of love. Picture source: \”The Little Man Who Borrows Things\” How important is it to protect children during their sensitive period of marriage? In the Japanese drama \”Love of the Sage\”, which will influence the future of marriage, in order to take revenge on her best friend Lily, Mayuko went to great lengths to train Lily\’s son Naomi to be her own man, making him unable to accept other women except herself. Mayuko accompanies Naomi to eat, tell stories, and sleep every day…just like the daily life of every mother and son. The 5-year-old Naomi was in a sensitive period of marriage, and at this time Mayuko kept giving him wrong responses and hints, until Naomi fell deeper and deeper and became a tool of her revenge. Image source: \”The Love of the Sage\” The sensitive period of marriage largely marks whether the child\’s emotions and emotions can reach a mature state. During this period, they explore interpersonal relationships and learn to love and be loved. If the children do not receive correct guidance during this period, it is likely to affect the future marriage. During the sensitive period of marriage, each child\’s feelings in interacting with the opposite sex may play a decisive role in their future views on love and marriage. Suhomlinsky, a famous educator who determines a child\’s future character, said: The issue of love is a major issue in the formation of personality. Lack of the ability to love will make children suffer from a lack of love throughout their lives. A few days ago, the son of Taiwanese artist Di Ying was arrested for concealing more than 1,600 bullets and a variety of firearms in the United States. And Di Ying had exposed herself in a previous program, she slept with the child until he was 15 years old. Even when the child was 11 years old, she \”held\” her breast to sleep at night, and she cried when she got up because she couldn\’t see her mother. As for the family of three, until the child was 15 years old, they still slept on the same bed. Her best friend told her that the son should sleep alone. Di Ying said helplessly: \”The son will complain that his mother sleeps with his father instead of me.\” When a child enters the sensitive period of marriage, his feelings for the caregiver of the opposite sex will become more intense and expressed more and more frequently, creating the illusion that \”he only belongs to me, he only loves me.\” If parents cannot distinguish this illusion, or deliberately indulge in this illusion and allow it to develop freely, their children will fall into a vicious cycle of attachment to their mother (father) and will be unable to escape from it throughout their lives. He will not know how to love others and the world. Image source: \”Ponyo on the Cliff\” The best education is to let children touch and experience the world by themselves. Only in this way will he understand the true taste of happiness and tears, gain the ability to love, and become a better version of himself. So, how do we help our children get through the sensitive period of marriage smoothly? Treat it with peace of mind, do not strengthen or ignore it. Sun Ruixue, a child education expert, said: The sensitive period of marriage generally occurs after the child is 4 years old, and some will enter the initial stage of the sensitive period of marriage when the child is over 3 years old. They become interested in interpersonal relationships and conduct a series of explorations. Image source: \”Zootopia\” When I went to pick up the children from kindergarten, I saw this scene: the children were playing the \”Wedding\” game. The little girl and the little boy exchanged rings solemnly, while a group of onlookers cheered and applauded. At this time, a little girl ran over and pulled the teacher\’s clothes: \”Teacher, I also want to marry Junjun.\” The teacher knelt down and pointed at the young groom: \”But Junjun is already married to Leilei. But it doesn\’t matter, you can find another child.\” The little girl turned her head and pointed at a little boy next to her: \”Xiao Qi, can I marry you?\” Xiao Qi nodded. Image source: \”Ponyo on the Cliff\” The teacher\’s words inspired me a lot. Isn\’t it the same with parents\’ answers to their children? If at home, the child wants to marry his father or mother, then tell him: \”I already have a lover, father (mother) is my lover, but it doesn\’t matter, you can still find other little girls (boys)!\” It doesn\’t matter if we don\’t get the other person\’s love. We can choose again. Don\’t lose the ability to choose because of love. Guide children to express \”like\” correctly. In November 2017, a 4-year-old boy kissed a 3-year-old girl in a kindergarten, which triggered a WeChat scolding between a pair of mothers and spread on the Internet. At first, the girl\’s parents were relatively calm and tried to solve the problem rationally, but the boy\’s parents said, \”That\’s what\’s wrong with you. It\’s normal for children to kiss and hug together.\” They successfully ignited the flames of war. Of course, both mothers have their faults. Children who are in the sensitive period of marriage actually need the correct guidance from their parents the most. Both boys and girls need us to tell them what they should do and what they should not do. What places should not be touched by others?When you ask for it, you must say no. For example, the previous approach of two fathers, Du Jiang and Liu Genghong, when dealing with \”Uh-huh, kissed the little puff\” is worth learning from. Du Jiang taught his son not to kiss others casually, while Liu Genghong taught his daughter that if someone wants to kiss you, you must first obtain your father\’s consent. This is the principle of love we should teach our children. Every time, in the process of \”unrequited love\” or \”mutual love\”, children are using their own way to experience the innate emotions and practice how to deal with emotions. This is when they begin to learn the ability to get along with the opposite sex, learning how to \”love\” and \”be loved\”. And what we need to do most is to tell them: not hurting others is a prerequisite, and we must respect others without hurting ourselves. There once was a little Japanese boy. He stood on a high roof and shouted to the little girl Xiaokui who was about to move: \”Even if we move, I still like Xiaokui so much.\” When the little girl wiped her tears , he comforted: \”Don\’t cry.\” After he shouted \”Don\’t forget me\” loudly, he wiped away his tears as he walked down the stairs to the rooftop. Someone asked, how are the little boy and girl doing now? What happens now is actually not that important anymore. The most beautiful thing is at that moment, shouting \”I like you\” to you loudly. That is our ability to teach children to love and face the world bravely. Image source: \”Kiki\’s Delivery Service\” The sensitive period of children\’s marriage is not a scourge. On the contrary, when children start talking about \”marriage\” and \”love\”, we should be happy for our children. This is a very good opportunity to enrich the child\’s emotional world and establish a better concept of love for the child. Helping children to successfully pass the sensitive period of marriage will be of great benefit to the children throughout their lives.