\”Mom, is our family very poor?\” Your answer may harm the child\’s life.

Every weekend I go to the nearby hypermarket to do some shopping, hoarding as much necessities as possible like a hamster. Xiaonuo was watching cartoons before leaving last week and was not very willing to go with me. In order to take the child away from the TV, I promised her a small toy. As soon as she arrived at the store, Xiao Nuo couldn\’t wait to pick out her own gifts. As for what to buy, she actually had no specific ideas. At the stationery counter, I gave her many suggestions, such as a small bucket of plasticine, a small notebook, a box of watercolor pens, etc., but she ruthlessly rejected them on the grounds that these things can be purchased in the bookstore at the entrance of the community. When she arrived at the toy counter, she immediately spotted a large box of dress-up dolls (similar to Barbie\’s). Inside, there were 6 \”princesses\” wearing various skirts. There were also many spare dresses and wardrobe shoes next to them. and jewelry. When I looked at the price, it was more than two hundred. I took the box and looked carefully. I saw that the workmanship of the \”princess\” and the dress were quite rough, so I wanted to persuade the child to exchange it for a gift. \”Don\’t we have a box of this at home? The one with four princesses.\” \”That was what my sister played with when she was a child, not mine.\” \”Didn\’t my sister give it to you?\” \”I like it very much, can\’t I buy another one? Box? Then we will have many princesses in our family.\” I originally wanted to say why we need so many princesses, but I knew it was useless. In the eyes of children, no amount is too much. I had no choice but to start nitpicking: \”Look, this skirt is not beautiful, the threads are all out.\” \”But I think it is very beautiful!\” I decided to tell the truth: \”This dress is not very well made, and the price is very expensive. It is not cost-effective. Let\’s buy something else.\” Xiao Nuo was silent for a moment and asked: \”Mom, is our family very poor?\” This sentence cannot be answered casually. I looked into the eyes of the child sitting on the shopping cart and said calmly: \”Our family is not very poor. We must have enough money to support you and your sister. You don\’t have to worry about this.\” After that, I smiled at her and the child was relieved. Give me a smile like this. I continued: \”No matter you are poor or not, you should not waste money or things.\” Xiao Nuo proactively added: \”You can\’t waste food and water.\” \”Yes, so I already have it at home. Don\’t buy more things, otherwise it will be a waste. For example, we already have a dining table at home, should we buy a nice dining table when we see it?\” At this point, Xiao Nuo was successfully diverted: \”That won\’t work, there is no place to put it. !\” So we left the toy counter happily, and she finally chose a bubble gun with music, and she was very happy. One time when I was returning home from errands, I passed by the vegetable market and decided to stop and buy some groceries. But all the parking spaces on the roadside were full. What was annoying was that the car at the front was parked between the first and second spots, occupying two spaces. I saw that there was no entrance or crosswalk in front of it, so I hesitated for a while and parked in front of the car, so that most of my car was in the parking space, but the front of the car was outside. I quickly rushed to the vegetable market with Xiao Nuo, thinking of coming back soon, hoping that the police officer would not be so lucky. When I returned from shopping for groceries, a yellow slip was quietly taped to the front windshield. I said a little depressed: \”Oops, weGot ticketed. \”When Xiao Nuo heard this, his eyes immediately lit up: \”Huh? Really? Show me quickly. \”The excitement is palpable. My child has always liked to listen to stories about police officers, and she often asks me to tell them to her. The police catch thieves, the police direct traffic, the police send lost children home… The police officers are what she thinks about. Idol. Every time she sat in the car, she would count the number of traffic policemen she met. This time, the police officer got close to us, and he actually gave us a ticket. The words on this ticket were \”Police Officer\” It’s written! Xiao Nuo asked excitedly: “Can you give this list to me? \”The look on his face was that of an idiot. \”This is a ticket, we are going to be fined!\” \”What does fine mean?\” \”We just have to pay and hand over our money.\” \”Xiao Nuo immediately became worried: \”Mom, doesn\’t our family have enough money to pay the fine? \”That\’s enough.\” \”Is it gone after you hand it in?\” \”That\’s more.\” \”Isn\’t that enough?\” Moreover, dad is still working to make money! \”What she said actually makes sense. After thinking about it, I said, \”Although we can afford to pay the fine, the money from the fine could have been used to buy other things or do other things. But today, I parked my car where I shouldn\’t have parked it. It was my mother\’s fault, so I deserved to be punished. \”As someone born in the 1970s who grew up in a rural area, poverty is a high probability for my family. This is exactly the case for me. The children of poor people have been in charge of their own affairs since I was a child. I have known since I was a child that my family was poor. My parents had to support the three of us in school. The hardship is beyond words. . Especially since I kept studying, not only could I not help my family, but I also had to pay for tuition and living expenses. Therefore, frugality is almost a habit engraved in my bones. When I just graduated from college, my salary was very meager, and I calculated my life every day. It\’s just like what the book says: \”I wish I could break a penny in half.\” After a few years, I finally became a little more comfortable. When shopping in the supermarket, I don\’t have to always stare at the promotional price tags of different colors or go for discounts. Standing in a long line, you don’t have to worry too much about the price when you buy your favorite food. But every time I go home with a full shopping bag, I feel satisfied but also uneasy about spending a lot of money. I have been \”poor\” since I was a child. \”The consciousness has followed me to this day. When I go to the mall, I can\’t help but look at the floats with discounts to see if they are 30% off or 50% off. It takes a lot of willpower every time to control myself from being tempted by the bargains. If I want to buy something slightly more expensive for myself, I have to use that advertising slogan to encourage myself: \”You deserve it\”! I have to persuade myself repeatedly in my mind to convince myself that \”I deserve to have these good things.\” I have a friend, the couple\’s income is not high, but the price of her bags and clothes is at least one level higher than mine. She can buy expensive jewelry of unknown material to wear because she likes it. They My family always takes their children out to eat and play everywhere on weekends. I often worry about them, thinking about how they can afford such consumption with such little income? But after so many years, they have not gone bankrupt. And our income Higher than them, consumption is lower than them, and they have not made any progress over the years.fiscal. Because of the \”frugal\” mentality that I have developed since I was a child, even if I have some good things, I am often reluctant to eat them or use them. For example, Nuo Xi’s father went to France and brought me a bottle of perfume when he came back, but I never took it out and used it. I always feel that there is no occasion that is \”worthy\” of using such a \”good thing\”. Then, after that, it sat there for a long time, and then, Xiao Nuo spilled the whole bottle on the living room floor. Reluctance to use good things is the real waste! There are various examples of crying with children about poverty in life. For example, when children play with water, many parents (especially the elderly) will stop their children: \”Oh! You can\’t waste water, these all cost money!\” This sentence conveys several meanings to the children: 1) The family is poor , can\’t afford to waste; 2) Don\’t waste things that cost money (can you waste things that don\’t cost money?); 3) Although playing with water makes me happy, my \”happiness\” is not as important as the water bill. It would be much better if we use another way of saying it, such as telling children the importance of water and reminding them not to waste it. If he must play, you can bring him a basin of water and let him play as much as he wants. After playing the rest, he can water the flowers, mop the floor and flush the toilet. For example, if a child expresses envy for a classmate\’s mansion, some parents may say: \”That house costs 10 million, and with your parents\’ salary, you will never even think about it in this life!\” At least this is passed on to the children. Two negative messages: 1) The house is beautiful and expensive, but our family doesn’t deserve it; 2) Poverty is something that cannot be changed in this life. If you say this, the effect will be different: \”Mom and dad are working hard to let us live in such a beautiful house as soon as possible. You have to help too! We will work hard together as a family!\” In addition, there are various \” Catchphrase: Where can our family afford that? We can\’t afford this! His father is a big boss, how can you compare with him? All these languages ​​cry out to children about poverty, and they all implicitly label children as \”I am poor.\” Over time, this label will become more and more firmly attached, even reaching the depths of the soul. A person\’s temperament, demeanor, vision and knowledge are not determined by how much money he earns or how many things he owns; from a certain perspective, it is determined by how much money he spends and how many good things he consumes. If a person has the label \”I am poor\” deep in his soul, even if he becomes rich in the future, he will not know how to enjoy life and how to treat himself well!