Mom, please go away, dad must do these 7 things!

Some people say: \”Chinese-style family = anxious mother + invisible father + rebellious children.\” Indeed, in quite a few families, fathers have been \”absent\” for a long time. Although they also stay at home, they are unwilling to participate in the tedious parenting matters, and naturally put all the burden of raising children on their mothers. A mother around me often complained: \”I have to get up several times a night to breastfeed and change diapers, but he sleeps like a dead pig; as soon as he gets off work, he sleeps on the sofa and forms a team with his friends. Just say a few words to him about playing games, and he will confidently say that after working all day, you can’t even play games for a break?”… But in fact, do fathers really not love their children and not care about their families? Are you really too busy to have time? No, in most cases, they just don\’t pay attention and don\’t realize the importance of the father\’s role in family education. In a family, dad is a role model and benchmark. By getting along with their father, children can observe what a man is, what a husband is, and what a father is. They can also see the responsibility, responsibility, and courage of men, which cannot be replaced by their mothers. Teacher Fan Wei, a master of children\’s attention training and a national second-level psychological counselor (distinguished lecturer of Parents\’ Must-read Lectures), also emphasized when communicating with parents: The following 7 things must be done by dads! The attitude of a father who loves his wife towards his mother is the attitude of his children towards their spouse in the future. If the father yells at the mother all day long, or even punches the mother, then this kind of domestic violence will also be \”inherited\” to the children, especially boys. When a boy has a conflict with his wife in the future, although he has no intention of taking action, he often involuntarily raises his fists and yells because that is what his father did to his mother. Boys will subconsciously think that this is the way to deal with family conflicts. For girls, after witnessing their father’s irritability and irritability in childhood, it is easy to develop a deep inferiority complex. When they encounter domestic violence after getting married, they tend to choose to endure it silently instead of resisting and protecting themselves. On the contrary, in families with loving parents, things are completely different. Boys have witnessed their father\’s thoughtfulness, love and care for their mothers since they were young, and they have learned the tolerance, generosity and sense of responsibility that men should have; girls have learned from their fathers what a \”good man\” should be like, and will be able to choose a mate in the future. Delinquent youths are largely avoided. Love of sports Due to gender differences, mothers generally like to cultivate their children\’s \”quiet\” and \”soft\” hobbies, such as music and painting; while fathers are more inclined to cultivate their children\’s \”intense\” and \”sporty\” hobbies, such as Basketball, badminton. Facts have also proved that a child who often participates in \”physical activities\” such as basketball and badminton is generally confident, optimistic, and cheerful. In fact, children have begun to realize the difference between father and mother when they are 5 or 6 months old, because father always likes to \”lift high\” and \”ride shoulders\”, which makes the child feel novel and excited. While playing with his father, the child gradually felt the strength of his arms and the generosity of his chest, and his heart was filled with a sense of security. In the future, he will face challenges in study and life.When you are frustrated, you will appear stronger and more confident. More than one mother who can afford to lose reported that: her child is happier than anyone else when he wins in playing games. Once he loses, he loses his temper and hits others; in kindergarten, he is not happy when other children run faster than him; he is unhappy when others eat. He is fast, but he is not happy… Children are naturally competitive and want to be the best in everything they do. This is understandable. But if a child places too much emphasis on winning and losing since childhood, it is easy for him to have a bad temper and be rejected by other children. The phenomenon of children \”cannot afford to lose\” is partly related to the mother\’s excessive care. In order to please our children, we often blindly accommodate them in life and games, blindly let them win, and then praise them as the best, leading to over-inflated children\’s self-esteem. In fact, if fathers can often be involved in the task of raising children, the phenomenon of children \”cannot afford to lose\” will be alleviated. Because fathers are always very rational and principled, they can let their children experience losing from time to time, and then realize the rule of \”if you lose, you win\”. Talking about gender: A very important link in the growth of children is to recognize their own \”gender roles\”: boys should be brave, responsible, and responsible; girls should be gentle, elegant, and kind. If \”gender roles\” are unclear or even reversed, it will inevitably cause a lot of psychological and interpersonal troubles. For example, a child who is entirely raised by his mother will be too influenced by femininity and will be sentimental, cowardly, and unconfident as an adult; while a girl who is entirely raised by her mother will inherit too much of her mother\’s strength and meanness. . If fathers can participate in the growth of their children, this problem can be solved well. Because dad is a living example who can help children recognize the characteristics of men and the differences between men and women. A Bear Hug When many people recall their childhood, they say that compared to the tenderness and comfort of their mother’s arms, their father’s “bear hug” is actually more exciting. Dad\’s strong arms and broad shoulders bring a sense of security. Lying on his shoulders, it seems that you can escape all the ups and downs. A Chinese father\’s love for his children is like \”teapot pouring dumplings\”. He clearly feels it in his heart but doesn\’t say it out loud. Since you don\’t want to say it, give your child a big hug from time to time. This will be the source of his sense of security and self-confidence. Share your experience of failure. As a father, always maintaining a \”tall\”, \”powerful\” and \”perfect\” image in front of your children is not necessarily a good thing. This may make your children feel that you are superior and majestic, and they dare not follow you. You communicate heart to heart. When appropriate, share with your children your past setbacks and failures and how you overcame them. Don\’t worry, your child will not laugh at you because you have failed. On the contrary, he will feel that his father is an honest person and worthy of trust. As a result, your child will have a closer relationship with you, and he will be willing to share his little secrets with you. He will also be able to face setbacks calmly in his future life, and will not become a person who reports good things but not bad things, and keeps everything in his heart. people. Experience dad’s working environment. In most families, dad’s occupation isRelatively busy, tiring, and competitive, mothers appear to be more family-oriented. In the future growth of children, especially in career planning, fathers do play a greater role than mothers. A father in our community sells breakfast at a stall. Regardless of spring, summer, autumn or winter, he gets up at around 4 a.m. every day to prepare. After working hard all morning, I took a short break at noon and started preparing the skewers to be sold in the evening. His son is only in fourth grade. After finishing his homework every day after school, he squats in front of the stall to help his father, stringing together cabbage, mushrooms, tofu rolls, etc. bit by bit with bamboo skewers… Anyone who is familiar with this child knows that this The child has never been ashamed of his father\’s occupation. On the contrary, he is more sensible, more diligent and studious than other children of the same age… So, if conditions permit, you really need to take your children to experience where their father works and see what adults are doing. The hard work and difficulty. This is of great benefit to cultivating children\’s gratitude and strong will.