\”Mom, what if I don\’t get into a good high school?\” This mother\’s answer is a model

The countdown to the high school entrance examination has entered, and the hearts of parents and children have been tugged. Some people say that the current high school entrance examination is too difficult, even more difficult than the college entrance examination. It is the first big test in a child\’s life, and it is also the first important intersection in a child\’s life. The high school entrance examination is not only a test for children, but also a test for parents. At this critical moment, parents must provide three assistances to help their children safely overcome this hurdle. 01 Psychological assistance: These words must be said to the children. I once saw a very heart-warming conversation between mother and daughter. \”It\’s late at night, why haven\’t you slept yet?\” \”Mom, I\’m very stressed and nervous, and I want to read for a while.\” \”Go to bed early after reading.\” \”Well… Mom, what if I can\’t get into a good high school?\” \”What do you think?\” \”I don\’t know. If I can\’t go to the high school I want to go to, my life will be over if I can\’t go to a good university.\” What should I do? I\’m so scared. \”But, Mom thinks, it\’s not a bad thing.\” \”I\’m tired of suffering outside.\” \”Of course! Mom believes that grades and school don\’t determine anything, but in this experience, your ability to withstand stress and learn will determine your ability to adapt to the fast-paced society of the future. However, my mother said this not to tell you that you will be completely ruined in the future, but to tell you that you only need to go all out, and no matter what the result, mother will face it with you, because in my heart, you She will always be my best daughter. \”Mom, thank you!\” A parent-child education blogger also shared an incident that happened to him. A parent consulted him and said that after her son asked \”What should I do if I don\’t get into a good high school?\”, she and the father comforted her son. Unexpectedly, his son was listless for several days and had no energy to do anything. After chatting with his son, the parent realized that when his son said that sentence, he was actually seeking psychological help from his parents. But they did not realize this. Instead, they said: \”Don\’t worry, how could it be?\” \”How could you fail the exam?\” What they conveyed is \”You must pass the exam!\” Therefore, the child will be depressed. A seemingly innocent piece of encouragement turns out to be another straw that breaks the child\’s back. Same question, different answers, different results. In fact, children are more stressed than adults when facing the first hurdle in their lives, the high school entrance examination. They will worry about whether they have performed well enough, about their parents\’ attitude after the results come out, and even worry about some negative emotions that they themselves are not aware of. At this time, parents should give their children more psychological comfort and emotional massage, so that they can feel a sense of security and unconditional love, and then they can learn how to face the various results after the exam head-on. For example, you can tell your children these words: The high school entrance examination only represents the answer sheet of your junior high school life, and it cannot define your future in life. High school is not the only choice in life. Your life has many possibilities. In anything, the result is not important, the process is the most important. The result is a summary, but the process is your growth. Many years later, looking back on the past,You will thank yourself for doing your best now and not fearing the future. Everyone has their own script. Only by moving forward firmly can you know what the end point of the script is. Anxiety is a normal emotion. If you feel anxious, come and talk to your parents. If the result this time is not very good, then keep your feet on the ground, continue to work hard, and strive to restart on other tracks; if the result this time is very good, then keep your mind focused and move forward! Parents’ words are reassurance for their children and the clearest light when they look toward the future. 02Physical assistance: Treat children after the exam, you must be both warm and ruthless. The high school entrance exam is a comprehensive test of learning ability, physical strength, emotion, concentration, etc. In order to prepare for the high school entrance examination, children also have to go through monthly, midterm, final and other exams. Each of these exams is also an important reference and practice for the children. Faced with the results after the exam, parents should not lose their \”normal mind\”. 1. Relax appropriately so that children can release their stress. I had dinner with relatives some time ago. My cousin\’s child had just finished the mid-term exam. During the meal, someone suggested that she enroll her child in more cram schools as soon as possible and make full use of every minute and every second after the exam. My cousin politely rejected the suggestion, saying only that the academic arrangements at school were very reasonable for the child, and they also wanted the child to have some time to adjust on his own. Although there is a saying: \”Learning is like sailing against the current. If you don\’t advance, you will retreat.\” However, proper pressure relief is to use retreat to advance, and use other methods to allow children to accumulate strength. Relaxing and adjusting is to sprint better in the next stage. 2. Relax your body and mind, but don’t get used to it. My daughter took her to a friend’s house after the holiday. When she came in, she saw her friend’s 14-year-old son sitting on the sofa reading a book. As soon as he finished reading, he took his basketball and went to the court to play. I was very curious at the time and complimented my friend on how self-disciplined her son was. Because every time after an exam, I often hear parents around me complain that their children spend all day playing games on their phones. She told me that after her son finished his exam, they made an agreement that they could relax for a while to relax their brain and spirit, but they could not abandon the habit of reading and exercising. Rest is for relaxation, but relaxation does not mean allowing yourself to be consumed. Learning is a lifelong matter. In addition to the efforts at each stage, what really allows children to continue to grow is the persistence of excellent habits. Only if parents are more \”cruel\” can their children stick to good habits and benefit them throughout their lives. As Dong Yuhui once said: \”In this life, you must run with a marathon mentality. What you have to do is to cultivate yourself and strengthen yourself every day for ten years.\” 03 Spiritual Assistance: Home is always a child The confidence psychologist Chen Mo once said: \”After children enter junior high school, there will be more and more pressure from the outside world. But you can\’t do anything about these pressures from the outside world. Every child has to bear it. As parents, we are the only ones who can What we do is to help children reduce stress through the family. \”Parents, you must be a pressure reducing valve for your children.\” 1. Pressure reducing valve Dong Yuhui once talked in a live broadcast room about what to do when a child is tired of studying. His answer was that if the child is really in pain and uncomfortable, then take a few days off. Going through every major exam, the pressure on children, sometimeslarger than their parents. Parents can help their children with their emotions so that they can find respite from the heavy pressure. 2. Reduce the language barrier Psychological expert Wu Zhihong once said: \”Home is a place for love, not reason.\” In the more than ten years I have been a teacher, my deepest feeling is that parents sometimes do not care about their children. Not enough, but too much. The back-and-forth of Che Luulu’s words has almost no benefit except annoying the children. Controlling a nagging mouth is the best gift a parent can give to a child. 3. Reduce status valve There is a question on Zhihu: \”What should parents do after their children take the high school entrance examination?\” Some netizens replied: \”Instead of focusing on \’how to do\’, it is better to focus on \’don\’t do\’.\” In his answer, he cited An example was given: An interviewee told him that when he was taking the high school entrance examination, his mother would get up early every day to make him a pot of chicken soup in order to help him relax and adjust his body and mind. This made him feel very stressed and deeply guilty at the time. Children are very sensitive to their parents\’ emotions. The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed he is; the more nervous you are, the more anxious he is. Only when the parent\’s state becomes normal can the child\’s state truly relax. Written at the end: I read this passage: \”If you are a very ordinary parent, you have no excellent resources, no amazing culture, and you don\’t know how to educate your children. Then we might as well encourage your children more , recognize him more, praise him more, understand him more, and support him more. Don\’t transfer your own cognition, anxiety, fear, anger, or even grievance to your children. \”The best parents can always protect their children. Home is a child’s foundation and a stable home. In our children\’s first big exam, let us be parents with a stable mentality and emotions, and guide our children to bravely and freely cross the first hurdle of their lives.