Mom, you look so beautiful with your white hair

I went to the mall to buy clothes on the weekend. When I passed by senior clothing, I saw a mother and daughter picking out clothes there. The old lady looked very old, a little hunched over, with white hair and not a single hair in sight. Standing next to him was a woman who looked to be in her forties or fifties, patiently trying on clothes with the old man. The old man\’s back was turned to me. Her hairstyle and figure were so similar to my mother\’s. I stared at that back in a daze. In fact, I have never seen my mother look so old. Five years ago, my mother, who was in her early sixties, was diagnosed with cancer and passed away in less than ten months. Before, my beautiful mother always wore fashionable clothes, had a good figure, had black hair, and looked to be in her fifties at most. I never felt like she was getting older, and I never felt like I had grown up. In the days after I received my mother\’s diagnosis certificate, I went crazy and confused. I consulted many doctors. Some suggested conservative treatment, while others suggested surgery. Although I am a medical student, I don’t have much clinical experience at all. In the end, the three of us, my sister and I, decided to undergo surgery, hoping that the source of the disease would be removed and my mother would get better from now on. But, no. During the period after my mother left, whenever I saw an aunt who was about the same age as her on the road, I would stop and stare deeply for a long time. Sometimes when I see an old woman with goose-skinned hair and shambling steps, if there is an older woman accompanying her, I would enviously think about how great it would be for me. How I would like to see my mother look old. For half a day, I actually forgot where I was and kept standing in the shopping mall, watching the mother and daughter trying on clothes. The woman should have seen me a long time ago, but she was too embarrassed to ask. Then she couldn\’t bear it anymore, turned around and asked: Beauty, are you okay? I was stunned for a moment and said: It\’s okay, it\’s okay, Mom, ah no, Auntie looks really nice with her white hair. Amid the astonished expressions on the mother and daughter\’s faces, I ran away in a hurry. Long Yingtai said, I slowly and slowly understood that the so-called father-daughter, mother-son relationship only means that your fate with him is that you will continue to watch his back fade away in this life. You stand at this end of the path and watch him gradually disappear at the corner of the path. Moreover, his back silently tells you: there is no need to chase him. It sounds like a few words, but when that figure walks out of your life and is never seen again, everyone will probably search for it in their dreams. In the winter three years ago, my colleague L’s mother suffered a heart attack and was hospitalized. I went to visit her. L’s mother seemed to be in very good spirits, talking and laughing. I thought she would be discharged from the hospital in a few days. Unexpectedly, a day later, there was news that News of her death. Everyone was very surprised and lamented the fragility and impermanence of life. A week later, L came back to work after dealing with his mother\’s funeral, feeling as if he had lost his soul. We were in the same office, and he often sat at his desk and stared out the window for half the day, lost in thought. That day, it was half an hour after the off-duty time. I finished my work for the day, turned off the computer and prepared to go home. When he looked up, he saw L holding a photo of his mother in a daze. I walked over and advised him: Don\’t be too sad. Auntie will be upset if you look like this. L burst into tears: Sister, my mother is only in her fifties. If she says no, she will be gone. She saidIf I can retire at the age of fifty-five, and she has just turned seventy-seven, and mother and son go to see the world together, she has never been on a plane or a ship, and she will definitely take a plane or a ship when the time comes. However, I have never seen what she looks like when she gets old, let alone taken her out for a trip. I was devastated and didn\’t know how to explain. L looked at the white snow downstairs and murmured: Sister, do you think my mother will be cold? I raised my face and held back the tears that flowed out. I\’m afraid that crying by myself will make L even more sad. I patted his shoulder and said nothing. A few poems flashed through my mind for no reason: Mother, are you asleep? I want to use the smallest voice in the world to call you to use the river that has just thawed, to call you to use the grass that is quietly turning green, to call you to use the name you once used, to call you to use the firewood of the stove, to call you to use the firewood that is thick as a wave. The smoke from the kitchen, calling you until, call your ears deaf mother, call your ears deaf, you will never hear my cry again… Yes, who said that every adult is a survivor? , and every gray hair, isn’t it the greatest gift from fate? Life is a concert that plays joy, anger, sorrow and joy at any time. Everyone is a passive audience and has no choice. The only thing you can do is cherish it. Cherish every sunrise and sunset in life. I only hope that when my teeth are shaking, you are still by my side, and I will be by your side. In the past, I thought young girls looked the most beautiful, and hot-blooded boys looked the most handsome. And now, I feel that the wrinkled face and gray hair are the most moving scenery in the world. That kind of life is full. After experiencing the four seasons of life, the frost dyes the hair and the face is carved with flowers. It is the most peaceful and complete ending. The pagoda has seven thousand floors. I don’t know where I will be in this life. My mother buried her bones in the mud under the spring, and I wandered in the world. May every life grow old safely.