Mom, you look so ugly when you lose your temper

\”Is mom beautiful?\” or \”Who is more beautiful, mom or the aunt on TV?\” The child will always raise his head, look straight at you, and proudly say: \”Mom is beautiful, mom is good-looking!\” At this time, mothers Our hearts are extremely happy, because we care most about our children’s opinions. However, as the children grow up and become less and less obedient, they have more things to worry about. Moms start throwing tantrums, yelling… and even getting physical. The beautiful mother in the child\’s eyes disappeared, replaced by an \”old witch\” who was angry, with exposed veins, frowning, glaring eyes, and screaming. My little nephew once cried and shouted at his mother: \”You are the worst and ugliest mother, and neither father nor I want you anymore!\” Hearing such words, my mother must have been very hurt in her heart. But what can be done? It is useless to reason with children. They will only obey if you lose your temper loudly. What mother can\’t hold back from getting angry when she sees her children acting up, rolling around and making trouble unreasonably? Besides, mothers are not born with bad tempers, they are really forced by their children. I couldn\’t hold back my anger, so I lost my temper and hit and scolded the child, which made me feel distressed. It must be very tiring to be a mother. If you don’t spank or scold, your child will be disobedient. If you spank or scold, education experts say it will do great harm. Many mothers often feel frustrated because they cannot educate their children well and only yell, and feel that they are the worst mothers in the world. I believe that all mothers want to get rid of losing their temper and become a quiet and beautiful mother. Then, you need the following methods. First, and most importantly, accept your emotions. Whose family has a little brat who doesn\’t get angry at all? Not accepting it and blindly suppressing it will only make negative emotions worse. So, when you get angry, first say to yourself: \”Well, I\’m angry, that\’s normal. Any mother would be angry if this happened to her.\” Once you accept it, you will find that you feel a lot better. Second, try to calm down. The key point here is to try. We just try not to force ourselves, because calming down is definitely not a piece of cake. Mothers are advised to leave the \”crime scene\” while ensuring the safety of their children. You can say to your child: \”Mom is very angry now and needs to calm down.\” Then go into the bathroom or bedroom, take a deep breath and relax, say what you want to scold the child to his face, stamp your feet or throw the pillow. At this point, you will feel much more relaxed, and the thing that made you angry just now will become less hateful. Third, go back to your child and communicate with him. If you perform the above two steps, your anger index will definitely be reduced a lot at this time, and communication with your children will naturally be smoother. During the communication process, pay attention to expressing emotions, requirements, and reasons. 1) When talking about emotions, talk about the emotions of two people: \”Mom was very angry just now, did you feel scared or wronged?\”; 2) Only say requests without accusations: \”Mom hopes you can put away the toys by yourself first\”; 3 ) Be sure to add the reason for such a request: \”Because it\’s time to eat soon, and the whole family is waiting for you alone. We can finish eating before continuing.\” Some momMom may think that this is how I usually communicate, and the child doesn’t listen. That\’s because you are communicating with 100% anger. Even if you suppress it, it will still affect your voice and intonation, and your children will definitely feel it. Next time, try to complete the first and second steps and channel your emotions before communicating. The effect will be very different. However, many mothers are unable to complete the first three steps. Most of them fail in the second step, and some encounter Waterloo in the first step. Therefore, this fourth point must be learned, that is, reflection and communication afterwards. After the tantrum is over and you and your child have calmed down, have a timely chat. Talk about the scene at that time, the emotions you felt, listen to the child\’s thoughts, and agree on what to do next time… Finally, apologize and forgive each other. Saying sorry is not that difficult. I know it\’s not easy to be a gentle mother who doesn\’t yell or get angry. But I also believe that every mother wants to be the most beautiful in the eyes of her children. So, come on, moms! If you follow the above 4 steps carefully, you may see miraculous changes in yourself and your children.