Most of the children who are not close to me when they grow up come from these three types of families.

As parents, we work hard to raise our children. Why? Most of us hope that we will have someone to rely on when we grow old. This is the history and culture left over by China for thousands of years, and it is also the tradition and virtue of our Chinese nation from ancient times to the present. Yesterday I was chatting with my sister next door about children. She said that for the sake of her career, she had raised her children at her sister\’s house until her career was stable. When she was able to take care of her child, she took her child back. After she was brought back, the child was neither cold nor indifferent to her, and she began to think that she was unfamiliar with her. I didn’t think too much about it. During this period, I bought whatever my children wanted to meet all their material needs, but who knew that the children would grow bigger and bigger. He still had a lukewarm attitude towards her and was not close to her at all. He always called her aunt and mom and told her that she was aunt. She also explained that the reason why she was placed in her aunt\’s house before was to create a good living environment for her. However, even though you are staying at your aunt\’s house, you still send money to your aunt every month. No, your career is stable, so I will take you back as soon as possible. But the child didn\’t seem to listen. He still thought that his aunt was dear to him, so he went to his aunt\’s house during the holidays. As a result, it was as if he had not raised a daughter. It was at that moment that she realized that she had not only missed the best time to accompany her child, but also missed the time to establish an attachment relationship with her child. Professor Li Meijin once said: 0-6 years old is a critical period for caregivers to establish attachment with their children. However, during this period, the caregiver does not accompany the child. Instead, if the child is handed over to other caregivers, the child will establish an attachment relationship with other caregivers, thereby missing out on the connection with the child. My sister\’s situation above should be encountered by many parents in life, and they are even going through a stage where their children are not close to us. But no matter what stage there is, problems arise between parents and children. In fact, many times the problem lies with the parents. [Full text of Disciple Regulations] Notes + Video of Disciple Regulations + Mind Map, save it for your children. So as parents, what are the reasons that cause our children to no longer be close to us? In a quarrelsome family and a disharmonious family atmosphere, parents have bad tempers and often quarrel, putting their children in dire straits and even making them want to run away when they think of home. Home is originally a place that conveys love and warmth to children, but due to the disharmonious marital relationship between parents, children suffer violence every day. This kind of violence includes language and body. Just imagine, who would want to be in such an environment? If it were me, I would want to escape immediately. A good friend shared with me before that his father loved to drink, and his mother felt that his father was not doing his job properly, so she would quarrel with his father every day. As a result, her father would hit others when he drank. At first, he would beat her mother when he drank, and later, he would also beat her when he drank. She said that when she was a child, she heard her father come back from drinking and hid under the quilt. She was really scared and wanted to escape from the violent home every day. She hated that her mother could not find a way to leave except for quarrels. She was even more ruthless about why her father beat people when he drank. She thought of countless ways to escape from home, but in the end she was trapped because she was too young. It wasn\’t until she was 15 years old that someone from her neighbor came out to work. With her parents\’ permission, she finally left the place that filled her with pain.s home. Home is the cradle for children to grow up, and parents are the harbor for children to dock. They say that as long as a mother is there, there is a home, but in fact, this home must be filled with love and warmth. Just like my friend, who is now married and has children, but has not yet come out of the shadow of childhood. He has been reading to heal himself, hoping that through reading, he can get rid of the trauma caused by his original family. Adler, the master of psychology, said: Lucky people are healed by childhood throughout their lives; unfortunate people are healed by childhood throughout their lives. Therefore, from now on, provide a harmonious family atmosphere for children, so that they are not only materially rich, but also psychologically rich. When a child\’s heart is full of love and warmth, he will be full of security. When he is full of security, he will not feel a lack of love. When there is no shortage of love, one learns to give love and give love. Parents who do not respect their children and are arbitrary There are some parents in life who always disrespect their children and deprive their children of their right to independence in the name of loving their children. Let the children slowly change from loving their parents to being hostile and hating their parents. As everyone knows, the love between parents and children must have a sense of boundaries. Love without a sense of boundaries is a kind of harm to the children. Many children talk to their parents about everything at first, but when their parents become more and more arbitrary and do not even have a sense of boundaries, they will start to do everything possible to stay away from their parents. I was chatting with my cousin a few days ago. She said that it is really difficult to raise a child. She quarreled with her child every day. After asking about the situation, she found out the reason. It turns out that my cousin’s child likes to draw, but she thinks that drawing is of no use, so she wants her to study hard instead of drawing. For this reason, the two of them were often angry because of painting. Until one time when the child said that he should apply for the art exam, the cousin was completely angry and said, \”You should apply for it!\” If you report it, I will no longer be your mother, and you will not be my daughter. Who would have thought that the child would actually say, no, no, I no longer want you as a mother. For this reason, she was very angry. She had a stubborn temper and didn\’t want to give in to her child. Who knew that the child was even more stubborn than her and ignored her at all. As parents, we must never compete with our children to win or lose. What we need to do is not to win over our own children, but to win over our children. If you blindly compete for victory and defeat, on the surface you will win the child, but in fact you will lose your weight in the child\’s heart and the opportunity for discipline. Parents go out to work and their children become left-behind children. Left-behind children are a common phenomenon in many families today, because in order to make money to support the family, parents naturally leave their children to their grandparents. It wasn’t until I was able to do so that I started taking care of my children. Just like Aunt Wang, her family conditions were not good in the early years, so she left her son in her hometown. When she made some money, she took her son with her. When Aunt Wang received her child, her son was already in fifth grade. In fact, she bought a lot of things for her child when he was a child. I remember that when my child was a child, she would always cling to her when she went back. When she left, she would always cry for a long time and pull her to prevent her from leaving. But as the child grew older, the child began to change from crying to watching her off. In the end, she just left and stopped coming out to see her off. Thinking that the child couldn\’t let her go, she didn\’t think much about it, but when she took the child back to her later, she found that the child was very indifferent. So now that I have grown up, I give it to my grandparentsShe bought this and that, but she just couldn\’t think of them, which made her feel doubly hurt. The reason why children are in this state is actually because they were full of expectations for their parents at the beginning, but their parents left again and again, so that the children\’s hope for their parents turned into disappointment again and again. Slowly, children close the doors of their hearts that are open to their parents, no longer have hope in their parents, but place their emotions on other caregivers. Written at the end: As parents, it is not easy for us to work hard to give birth to a child. If possible, we try to accompany the child to grow up from 0-6 years old. The age of 0-6 is a critical period for parents to establish an attachment relationship with their children, and is also a critical period for the formation of children\’s good habits and character. Therefore, if we want our children to be easy to discipline when they grow up and to maintain a good parent-child relationship with us, we must firmly grasp this critical period of accompanying our children. If you do this, you will find that it is effortless to discipline your children, and at the same time, even when your children grow up, they will still be close to us like friends. What do you think about this? Please leave a message to discuss!