My baby will go to kindergarten soon. How to deal with separation anxiety?

A few days ago, a mother said that her 3-year-old son was looking for a kindergarten. Unexpectedly, the little guy talked well at home and was fine with his mother accompanying him at school. But when it came time to separate, my son just refused to let go. Finally she forced the child\’s hand away. The teacher also said you go first, it’s okay to cry. But in the end she couldn\’t bear it, said she would send it back in a few days, and took it home. As a result, I couldn’t even mention kindergarten. Otherwise, he will cry and lose his temper. She asked why her son had such a bad temper? Sometimes I really want to beat him up, but I know it\’s useless. What should we do? Speaking of going to school, I think many people will have this memory – being very homesick. Even in middle school, I still feel like this. I remember that at that time, a group of our classmates went to study in the next county town. As soon as I got out of the car and my feet touched the ground, I started to feel strange. What followed was a little bit of freshness and a lot of homesickness. So every time a mother talks about why her children are afraid of going to school and don’t want to go to school. I particularly understand how this child feels. Especially in the infant and toddler stage, children are more likely to suffer from separation anxiety – separation anxiety refers to the anxiety, uneasiness, or unpleasant emotional reaction of infants and young children caused by being separated from their relatives, also known as separation anxiety. I analyzed that the reason why I felt that way was that I went to school near home since I was a child, and lived at home in junior high school. The real separation was in high school. And I have never had that kind of anxiety since that experience. So when faced with your child’s anxiety, you can first think about your own experiences as a child. Often able to understand children\’s emotions without falling into violent tempers. Because we were all children once. \”The Little Prince\” said: \”All adults were once children, although only a few people remember it.\” After understanding the child\’s psychological reasons, how can we help the child overcome it? First of all, we must give our children a sense of security, which is a kind of psychological construction. It starts when the child is a baby. Because you feel the fear and uneasiness in your heart, anxiety will knock on your door. So I wanted to see my relatives and hope to be protected and taken care of. This is why babies cry and scream when they find themselves sleeping alone in a room and wake up without finding an adult. Because they are calling attention to their loved ones. In ancient times, human babies lived in the jungle without adult care. is very dangerous. It almost becomes instinctive. Therefore, starting from infancy and early childhood, it is necessary to actively respond to the needs of children. I find that some parents do something very strange. When a child cries, don\’t coax him. Instead, let him cry. This is called immunity to crying. I find this very inhumane. It is natural for children to seek close love from their parents. Therefore, it is necessary to ensure the child\’s sense of security at an early stage. Reasonable needs will be met immediately. When children have such a sense of security, they will not have severe separation anxiety when they grow up, such as when they go to school. Because they trust their parents. I remember that I told Xiao Xiaoyu at that time: \”When you get out of school, your father will come to pick you up. You should stay with your classmates and teachers first.\” He was very sure, because I could do what I said. Before your children are officially separated, prepare yourself mentally in advance. Before we decide to change an environment, we must follow up in advanceSay yes to the child and give them a transition time. For example, if your child is going to a new kindergarten, you can tell your child: \”Suppose you arrive in a new kindergarten. What will you do? If you feel that the teacher does not care about you enough, you should tell your mother in time, and your mother will tell the teacher.\” 3 The most important period for children to develop an attachment relationship with their parents is from the age of 1 to 10 years old. During this period, if parents pay less attention to their children, it will affect the children\’s emotions and behavior. During this period, both father and mother should be constantly present in the child\’s world to accompany them. One mother said that there are many parent-child activities in her child\’s kindergarten, and she has to attend them every time. It is troublesome to ask for leave frequently, but she still goes every time. Because she once again saw a child crying at the event. The reason was that the child\’s parents were too busy at work and did not attend the event. The child felt that he was too wronged and cried loudly, which made the mothers at the scene emotional. Remember to change your communication methods to find a mode that suits your child. Children in early childhood need the most care from the family, and care should be taken about the child\’s physical and psychological aspects. Especially when the child has some unusual behaviors, you must change your mind in a timely manner and do not hold on to it. You can be like water, when you encounter mountains and walk around them, and when you are with your children, you must have the attitude that \”either the east wind prevails over the west wind, or the west wind overpowers the east wind.\” For example, a child says one day that he doesn’t want to go to school. What you have to do is not to get angry or threaten. Instead, I suggest you squat down, hug him gently, and ask why. Countermeasures can be taken only after the cause is found. And there are many ways to express it. I remember there was a picture book \”Magic Kiss\”, which gave us a very good way. That kiss lightly pressed on the palm of your hand is a concrete expression of love and a mark of love. Although it is just a form, it profoundly conveys his mother\’s close and deep love for him. This kind of love gives the little raccoon a sense of security and courage. It can cheer up and face things that originally frightened it, and even inspire the power of love. It can learn to express its love for its mother through imitation and give love. Actual words and actions. In addition, cultivate children\’s self-care ability, which is the basis for adapting after separation. Children must be consciously trained to eat, dress, wash hands, urinate and defecate on their own, etc. In this way, children will not be afraid because they cannot do it. And it will not become a \”little burden\” in the group. You will find that children who have good self-care ability can always adapt to new environments better. When dealing with separation anxiety, the key is to be well prepared in advance. When the child really does not want to be separated, he can be appropriately comforted to reduce this anxiety. Remember not to punish or scold. When the child is ready, parents should firmly turn around and leave. Don\’t take two steps and look back on your own, which will make it even more difficult for the child to leave. This separation is a time for parents and children to grow together. Come on, I believe you can do great.