My child, don’t let your kindness go to waste

On Saturday night, I was shopping with my son and walked across an overpass. There was an old man begging on the overpass. I walked over as normal as usual. My son turned around frequently and held my hand to stand still. I saw what he was thinking, so I asked him: \”Do you want to give money to the old man?\” He nodded, and without saying anything, I gave him a few yuan change and asked him to throw it into the beggar\’s bowl. Afterwards, I asked him why he gave the money, and he replied: \”I feel that the old man is so pitiful.\” I was very pleased that my son was very kind and compassionate. Originally, I wanted to reason with my son and tell him that beggars like this are not worth helping and that they might be liars. I also wanted to tell him that there is a group of beggars who make a living by defrauding people. I wanted to tell him that the world is very complicated. , we must understand clearly which people and things should be helped and which should not be helped. But then I thought about it, he was still young, and he wouldn’t understand if I told him this. I also feel that my son is so kind and has a heart of gold, so I don’t want to break this beauty. Teach him to be kind and do your best to protect his heart of gold. This is the parenting philosophy I have always adhered to. But recently two people touched me and made me change my original mind. The first person is my aunt\’s son. A few days ago, my sister-in-law discovered that her son, who is in fifth grade, had several hundred yuan missing from his New Year\’s money. After asking, I found out that he had lent the money to his classmates. My sister-in-law wanted to get angry, but her son said that her classmate was in trouble and he should help. Now, my sister-in-law didn’t know how to deal with it. It seems that my son\’s helpful kindness should not be criticized, but should be praised. She asked me what should I do? According to my original concept, my sister-in-law\’s son\’s behavior deserves recognition. But things don\’t seem to be of a black and white nature. The child\’s classmate lost money playing games and did not dare to ask his parents for money, so he borrowed it from his sister-in-law\’s son. The two of them usually have a good relationship, so the child was generous and lent money to his classmates. But this classmate lost money playing games more than once. From this point of view, this classmate\’s character is not very good, and his difficulties come from gambling. Such a friend is not worth helping. We should teach children to be kind and let them become upright people. But we cannot just educate our children to be good people. We should teach them how to recognize people and let them know how to recognize the world. When I read the book \”The Education of Carl Witte\”, the educational philosophy of German parenting expert Carl Witte solidified my new understanding. He also encountered the same problem in the process of raising children. His children also used their pocket money to help friends. He found out about it, but he didn\’t simply deal with it. Although he has always believed that helping others is a virtue, this is how he cultivates this quality in his children. But he believes that there are many ways to help others, and the people who are helped should be those who are worthy of help. The most important thing is to let children recognize the people around them and discern the essence of things. So he investigated who his son was helping. As a result, he discovered that his son was helping a friend whose father was an alcoholic, and that the child did not solve the learning difficulties of himself and his younger siblings as he had promised after borrowing the money, but instead used the money to gamble. Based on the above situation, Carl Witt suggested that his son take the money back because this was a person not worth helping. A dishonest gambling addict, qualityThere is a problem. Such people are not only unworthy of help, but also unworthy of being friends. Children should be kept away from them. Carl Witt convinced me of a parenting philosophy: helping others is a virtue and deserves praise. But there should be a bottom line when helping people. For those who are not worthy of help, you should resolutely say \”no\”, because it is possible that your kindness will condone evil. Kindness should have a bottom line, and we should not misuse kindness. Children with truth, goodness and beauty are angels. Parents should protect this beauty and never let evil tarnish it. Therefore, it is very important for children to be aware of the people around them from an early age. It is much better for children to learn to protect themselves than to become a good person like an \”idiot\”. Although it is important to keep children\’s hearts pure, it is even more important to let children understand the essence of life as early as possible and to let children recognize the multi-faceted nature of the world as early as possible. However, the reality is that from the moment a child is born, most parents teach their children to be kind people. However, few people tell their children what is truly \”good\”, and no one helps them understand what \”evil\” is. If you don’t know what evil is, how can you do good? Many people are unwilling to teach their children to face up to the bad things in society, but instead teach them to turn a blind eye. This is a kind of deceptive education, which directly causes children to become numb in false phenomena, thereby making children more retarded and self-deceptive. Many parents and friends around me, husbands and wives, have made an appointment not to discuss any news about the dark side of society at home, including related TV programs, and will never let their children watch it. In their words: \”I don\’t want my child to be exposed to those bad things, for fear that he will learn bad things.\” However, if you think your child is too young and don\’t want to tell him that there is evil in the world, bad people will not think your child is too young. . Children like to be in contact with people who seem approachable and kind. As everyone knows, those who deceive and abduct children are almost all \”good people\” with a smile like this. Recently, many reality shows have tested how easily our innocent and cute children can be deceived. Nine out of ten children can be deceived. They use a candy or a toy or something interesting, or just ask for a favor, thus easily tricking these cute children. Our children are not vigilant at all. They only pretend that the world is beautiful and that everyone is as good as their parents, so they believe everything anyone tells them. Children who have been taught truth, goodness and beauty since childhood are like children who live in a vacuum. Once they enter college and society, and face living alone, they will be deceived by scammers, who may deceive them of money or lose their lives. Only letting children see the good things without letting them recognize the \”evil\” in life may make their own kindness go wrong. Those kind-hearted children who spared no effort to help others not only did not receive corresponding rewards, but were deceived by others and even lost their lives for this. Last year, a murder occurred that shocked the world. A kind-hearted girl Jiang Ge kindly helped her best friend Liu Xin, but she was killed. The kind-hearted Jiang Ge should be able to see Liu Xin\’s character from her daily life, but she is too kind to recognizeThe ugliness of human nature, her blind concession and tolerant help brought herself into trouble. Liu Xin is not worthy of Jiang Ge\’s help at all. The emotional debt she has incurred on herself should be settled by herself. Using a good friend as a shield is not righteous in itself. If Jiang Ge had planted the seeds of \”knowing good from evil\” in her heart since she was a child, she would not help someone who was not worthy of help when she grew up. We often use our own kindness to help others, but little do we know that we condone evil. On February 13, 2018, the day before New Year’s Eve, a 17-year-old girl walked alone on Yimin Street in Hunyuan County. At this moment, a man driving a Baojun stopped beside her and politely asked her for help: \”Girl, there seems to be something wrong with my brakes. Can you help me?\” The girl was very kind and agreed. In this way, she was tricked into the car. The man immediately tied her hands and feet with tape. After confirming that she could not move, he took her to the Diaowo Coal Mining No. 1 working area. Then, he took the girl to his hotel, raped her, and killed her. In order to avoid responsibility, the murderer also dismembered the victims\’ bodies at his residence and burned them one by one in the hotel. This kind of thing is not unique. In April 2011, a girl disappeared in Renshou County, Sichuan Province. Her name is Xiaohong and she is also 17 years old. That day, she had just finished her internship and made an appointment with some classmates to go to the park. Halfway out the door, someone asked her for directions. There was a man and a woman sitting in the car. She saw the other party pleading hard, and saw the two of them walking around but couldn\’t find their way, so she felt sympathy. Then she made a decision that she would regret for the rest of her life – she got into their car and wanted to take them to the roundabout road. As a result, she was trapped for 158 days, and the gangsters trapped her and extorted money from her. Helping others resulted in such self-destruction. He was full of good intentions, but he was willing to pay for such a tragedy. There are many, many such distressing news, such as the German female student Li Yangjie. Another example is the girl Hu Yixuan from Heilongjiang. They all kindly helped the bad guys and died in death. In addition to condemning those inhumane bad people, should we deeply reflect on why our children are so easy to show kindness to strangers and help without hesitation? Kindness is valuable, and its value is \”priceless\”. It should only be given for true \”goodness.\” In addition to sunshine, there are shadows in this world; in society, besides truth, goodness and beauty, there is also falsehood, ugliness and evil. Let children realize the cruelty of the world as early as possible and teach them to recognize people clearly so that kindness will not be paid by mistake. Only by knowing evil can we do good better. Most of our parents only teach their children to be kind and upright people, but they do not teach them to identify what true kindness is. They were not taught early on how to identify the fake and ugly things in the world, and they were not told that when they encounter bad people, there is only one way to deal with them, and that is to stay away as soon as possible. A qualified parent, while telling his children that the world is beautiful, should also remind them that there is also ugliness and danger in the world. Facing the beautiful world, we should love it. But at any time, please be wary of evil, learn to protect yourself, and resolutely say \”no\” to those who shouldn\’t be helped. Don\’t let your children\’s kindness go to waste.