My child, I can pamper you, but I won’t serve you.

I went out a few days ago and when I got on the elevator, I met an old lady with silver hair and a family of three. After getting on the elevator, the old man quickly pressed the floor button. Seeing the old man dilly-dallying, it was obvious that the mother was a little dissatisfied. After a while, he asked loudly: \”Did you click on the floor?\”, with a bit of anger. \”Pressed, pressed.\” \”Is it the first floor or the first floor below?\” The tone became higher again. \”It\’s all pressed. I\’ll go down to the first floor. You guys go to the first floor.\” Then she talked to her son as if she were a different person: \”Tell me what you want to eat today. Mom will take you there.\” The fat little guy He said, \”Can you take grandma with you?\” \”She\’s too old to go.\” \”Look at you, why are you wearing so little clothes? You\’re not afraid of catching a cold.\” When I got off the elevator on the first floor, there was no support or a word of instruction. . The old man left a thin figure and disappeared on the other side of the door. But he loves his children in every possible way, for fear of being a little inconsiderate. We have too many families that regard the children as the center of the family and the elderly as passers-by. He is even extremely harsh on himself and takes pleasure in this kind of dedication. Therefore, at the dinner table, good dishes are served to children as soon as possible. When a fish is served, the tenderest fish meat is picked out and put into the children\’s bowls. In the end, all that was left was the fish head, tail and a pile of fish bones. And the child takes it for granted. The most important thing is that the old man also thinks that this is a matter of course, and he should have a bad meal. So the child\’s candy fell on the ground and the child wanted to pick it up and eat it. The old man quickly stopped him, then picked it up and ate it himself. He also told the child: \”You can\’t eat that dirty thing.\” Therefore, the children naturally feel that the good things are their own, and the bad things are for adults to eat. When the elderly go out with their children, they usually dig at themselves, but when their children want toys worth tens or hundreds of dollars, they often buy them without saying a word. He also said: \”As long as my good grandson likes it, then buy it.\” Such stories happen around us every day. French educator Rousseau said: \”Do you know what method you can use to make your child an unfortunate person? This method is to be obedient to him.\” A few years ago, there was an article that became popular on the Internet. A grandma takes her grandson to a store to eat beef noodles every day. The grandma orders 2 bowls every time, then puts all the beef in her own bowl into her grandson\’s bowl, and then happily watches her grandson eat the noodles. Once, grandma put beef into her grandson\’s bowl without the child seeing it. Later, the grandson yelled for grandma to give her the meat. No matter how grandma explained, the children insisted that grandma had stolen the beef, shouted \”grandma is a liar\”, and made a fuss in the store. Finally, the boss came out and coaxed them to leave, saying, \”I won\’t sell you beef noodles!\” Unexpectedly, the next day, the child came again with his father, followed by his grandmother. As soon as the father entered the door, he shouted: \”Bring me three bowls of beef noodles!\” After the noodles were served, he gave his son all the meat in the other two bowls, and called the boss over to lecture him: \”I tell you, I bought Noodles, you can eat whatever you want, I will give the meat to my son happily, do you care?!\” As he spoke, he spit into the bowl, and then led his son \”He walked out of the noodle shop with his head held high, which can be regarded as giving his son a bad breath. I know that many people will despise this father\’s behavior after reading this story. They will also think that this grandma spoils her children too much. Regardless of whether this story is true or not. It has happened. But this fact is common. Because we have all done this kind of thing more or less. Take me and my son going out for breakfast as an example. When I eat noodles, I add the stir-fry code myself. What the children eat When I eat less, I always give him a small portion from me. As for the meat? For example, pork ribs or tripe are my son’s favorites. I will give him a little more every time. Sometimes the child is still not satisfied and shouts for more. A lot. I remember that time when my mother took him to have breakfast. She would put all the delicious food in her own bowl into her grandson’s bowl. So he would feel that it was natural for him to get more or even all of it. Although I wouldn’t do that. I do. But I will still give more to my children. This is the nature of parents. So love and doting are just one step away. Sometimes I will clearly tell my son: This is daddy’s. If you need it, we can add more. But you can’t eat mine too. At first he would be unhappy, but he gradually understood the limit. Later he wouldn’t be angry about it anymore. A child’s behavior and values ​​are not formed innately, but gradually. It is formed slowly in life. Parental guidance is the key. I have always believed that character is always the most important in raising children. Character is the soul of a person and the foundation of the world. If we simply focus on the intellectual development of children, and Ignoring character education is definitely putting the cart before the horse. Many parents think that \”the children can be more relaxed when they are still young, and more strict when they grow up\” and \”the children will naturally become sensible when they grow up.\” \”Is this really so? There is a saying in China that goes: \”Three-year-olds are older, seven-year-olds are older.\” The period from birth to three years old is called the infancy, which is the period of the fastest physical and psychological development of children. Especially when they are young. , the influence of parents is the most profound and direct. If you are arrogant and doting on your children since childhood, it will probably be too late when they are older. Once I picked up my son from school and took the elevator from the first floor to the first floor. The elevator door opened and closed. There was a little boy looking around and shouting. We thought it was a naughty child. Unexpectedly, a trembling old man appeared at the elevator door. The little boy looked like he was six years old. A small hand held grandma while walking slowly inside. Getting up and down the elevator should be the biggest obstacle for the elderly living in high-rise cities. They can\’t press the buttons themselves, and it\’s inconvenient to get in and out of the elevator. This little boy\’s His behavior was really warm. At that time, I patted my son on the shoulder and said, \”Look, this little brother can take care of the old lady getting up and down the elevator.\” You should also take good care of your mother-in-law next time. \”But he is older than me!\” \”You will be this old in a year. Learn from this little brother.\” \”The little guy nodded silently. From this little boy helping his grandma, he saw the success of family education. Because a child can take care of his disabled grandma so carefully, he must have been warmly influenced by his parents. Such behavior, In our era of increasingly abundant materials, it is actually obvious thatGot to be scarce. A few days ago, a mother left me a message saying: She likes children, but her husband doesn’t like them very much. And when you think about having a baby, you have to prepare so many things, not only money but also effort. Thinking about my own situation, I didn’t dare to give birth anymore, for fear that I wouldn’t be able to take good care of the child. When we love our children, we must be responsible for them. But we cannot take our children too seriously. In a family, everyone has their own place and contribution. For example, the husband works hard to protect his home and makes it rich and happy, while the wife protects the home carefully and makes the home warm and interesting. The arrival of a child will bring joy and surprises to the family. We must treat children as ordinary members of the family, not the core of the family. Because any family that regards children as the center often raises little emperors. The adults gathered around to serve him like palace maids and eunuchs. Will there be no problems in such a family? Children feel that everything they get is taken for granted and they will not feel grateful. He will feel that he is the center of the world. He cannot be criticized outside. As long as the teacher does not criticize him, he will not want to study anymore. Because no one was coaxing him. But the world itself has a cruel side. No one can survive with a protective shield. Please tell children in privileged situations: Don’t take everything for granted. At home, everyone loves each other equally. I can pamper you, but I will not serve you. Husbands should love their wives, and wives should respect their husbands. Because the relationship between husband and wife comes before the relationship between parents and children. Parents should respect and care for the elderly as they would their own children. Such a family will be full of love and warmth. And children who grow up in such an environment will also be sunny and warm.