My child, I don’t ask you to be the best, I just hope you work hard enough

Recently, when my son comes home from school every day, he takes out his cross-stitch handiwork and threads around the room. I often heard him yelling and screaming. One moment he said that the needle pricked his hand and it hurt, the other moment he complained and wanted to give up. I understand him very well. Cross-stitch is a craft that tests a person\’s patience and carefulness. Even many girls can\’t persist, let alone a clumsy boy who has never picked up a needle and thread. I took his semi-finished product, looked at it carefully, and gave it my heartfelt appreciation. I said, \”Son, that\’s great. Your design is very creative, and more importantly, you work very hard. You couldn\’t even hold the needle steady at first, but now you\’re halfway through the embroidery, and you\’re much more skillful. Don\’t worry, You don\’t need to compare with others. Mom doesn\’t ask you to be the best, you just need to work hard enough.\” With my encouragement and comfort, his irritable mood gradually calmed down and he continued to work hard. This time, he was more attentive and carefully watched before inserting the needle. The number of reworks was reduced and the hand was rarely pricked. Last night, my son suddenly remembered something. He ran to his room and took out something from his schoolbag. He ran to me happily and said, \”Look, Mom, I got an excellent grade in my cross-stitch homework!\” When I saw it, the half-finished product at that time suddenly transformed. It became a beautiful hanging ornament, with the word \”forbearance\” embroidered on one side and a cat on the other. I smiled and gave him a thumbs up. \”Compared with those girls, I wasn\’t the best at what I did, but the teacher said I worked hard and gave me an excellent grade. Not many boys in the class handed in their homework, and they were too lazy to do it. Fortunately, I listened to you at the time If I persist, I now realize that it’s not that difficult.” The more my son talked, the happier he became and the more confident he became. Many times, we are defeated by ourselves. When encountering difficulties, you shrink back, feel that you are not good enough, worry about not being able to compare with others, look forward and backward, worry about gains and losses, and finally either give up or miss the opportunity. When educating their children, some parents are used to comparing other people\’s children. They like to say: Why is so-and-so so good? You are not stupid than others, so why are you not as good as others? What a disappointment! Such words really hurt the child\’s self-esteem, but you can\’t say them again. Put yourself in your shoes, if your child says this to you: Why are so-and-so’s parents so awesome? Why are you not as good as them? What a disappointment! What would you think? Isn\’t it sad? There is no understanding, no encouragement, only blame and derogation, which is very hurtful. From the time my son was very young, I allowed him to be himself and encouraged him to strive to be the best version of himself. Even if sometimes his test scores are not ideal, I will not compare his scores with high scores. I will just accompany him to find the reasons and remind him to pay attention next time and not make the same mistakes. Just make progress little by little. Sometimes he is timid and misses the opportunity to participate in activities to exercise himself. I won\’t say why so and so is so bold, why can\’t you. The next time he has the opportunity, I will encourage him to take the first step bravely. I say, it’s okay to make mistakes and it’s okay to fail. If you participate, you will win because you worked hard and defeated yourself. After year after year of training, his courage is getting stronger, and his psychological quality and comprehensive ability are also getting better and better.The stronger. At the beginning of the fourth grade, he was elected as class president by his classmates, with more votes than the other candidates combined. On Children\’s Day last year, he was selected as the host of the school party and successfully completed the task. In the autumn sports meeting last semester, he also served as the announcer, introducing the entering teams to the teachers and students of the school and cheering them on. Watching his changes bit by bit, I am really happy. I am glad that I did not beat him or compare others with him. I just kept encouraging him to work hard, work hard, and work harder. My son has never attended any cram school since he was a child. He has many classmates who started participating in Mathematical Olympiad tutoring a few years ago. I once asked for his opinion, but he said he didn\’t want to take tutoring, and I didn\’t want to put any extra burden on him, so I gave up. A year ago, there was a Mathematical Olympiad competition, and he also signed up to participate. As a result, he was eliminated in the first round with a very low score. Seeing some students representing the school in the second round, he was envious and frustrated with his own performance. I comforted him, there was no need to compare with others, just work harder and practice more in the future, and strive to improve next time. After hearing this, he felt much calmer. Later, I often saw him take out those exercises when he had nothing to do, think about the answers carefully, and ask his father for advice when he encountered something he didn’t understand. One weekend not long ago, another Mathematical Olympiad competition was held. When he came back, he only said: Strange, why do I feel that the question is much easier than last time? A few days later, he happily told me that he ranked second in the entire grade and would represent the school in the next round of competition with several other classmates. Although I don\’t care much about these games, it really gave me a surprise. As my son grows up, one experience after another proves that there is no need to compare with others, just compare with yourself, and it is enough to make yourself a little better today than you were yesterday. Everyone has different characteristics and advantages. If you blindly imitate and compare with others, even if you really succeed, what will come out in the end will be just a copy. And more often than not, due to individual differences, one can never reach the heights of others. In this case, if you continue to compare yourself with others, the result is likely to be failure and loss. Only by taking advantage of others to make up for one\’s own shortcomings, giving full play to one\’s own characteristics, constantly striving to surpass oneself, can one live his true self and have his own characteristics. The growth of a child is a long and magical process, and many unpredictable things will happen. Sometimes, the greater the parent\’s hope, the greater the disappointment; sometimes, letting nature take its course and only encouraging him to work hard and make progress will continue to bring surprises. So, dear parents, don’t pay too much attention to your child’s ranking after each exam. If your child has improved compared to last time, congratulate him and encourage him to keep working hard. If he regresses, help him analyze the reasons and encourage him to make progress next time. When a child is too timid to participate in an activity, don\’t compare him with other people\’s children, don\’t blame him for being timid and useless, but encourage him to try bravely next time. As long as we keep working hard and making progress, everyone will eventually become the best version of themselves.