My child, I forgive my mother for not knowing, it turns out this is a required course in your life.

In the past few days, an essay \”The First Endeavor\” written by a sixth-grade student in Ningbo has become popular on the Internet. Netizens jokingly said: This composition is comparable to the love letters of famous masters. Someone exclaimed: Are all children today so precocious? Some people say: Why don’t teachers and parents care about this child’s premature love? Others said: I don’t think this can be regarded as puppy love. It is a primitive drive of human nature for positive, sunny and other beautiful things. It is the earliest holy feeling in the heart, giving people the motivation to work hard. My best friend Ping told me that when I was helping my daughter pack her schoolbag a few days ago, she found several love letters hidden in the mezzanine. They all said: I like you, I love you… and the like. After careful interrogation, her daughter said that almost every female classmate in the class had received love letters. Then she clicked on her QQ, where several classmates were chatting about who liked whom. And her daughter has just entered the fourth grade of elementary school. She lamented: Nowadays, children\’s dating age has been advanced from junior high school to elementary school. She was puzzled: Will a little kid understand what love is? Can a random whim be love? A limerick from a primary school in Hanyang lets us see how children view this: a thief in the first grade and a thief in the second grade, no one pursues the beauties in the third grade, a lot of handsome guys in the fourth grade, love letters flying everywhere in the fifth grade, A couple in sixth grade. When my son Xiao Mo was in third grade, he once said that when he played with his classmates on weekends, he would secretly talk about girls. By the time he reached fifth grade, he started talking openly about girls. It was no secret who liked which girl. Don’t be surprised. With the rapid development of social informatization, children are becoming more and more ignorant about the feelings between the opposite sex. According to a health survey report from primary and secondary school students: Children have a clear trend of advancing puberty, and the physiological maturity time of boys and girls is advanced to 12-16 years old, or even earlier. A survey on primary school students about male-female interactions showed that when they saw male-female interactions, 43.7% thought it was a relationship between ordinary friends and 56.3% thought it was a romantic relationship. The basis for thinking it is a romantic relationship is that as long as a man and a woman have a slightly intimate relationship, they are in love. In fact, they have a vague concept of romantic relationships. Professor Mei Zhigang, a sociologist at Central China Normal University, said: For primary school students, even if they are called \”husband\” or \”wife\”, it is only based on the deep friendship and ignorant goodwill between each other, and has nothing to do with love itself. It\’s just disguised expression in the form of love. Therefore, saying that children fall in love early is a misunderstanding of love. Writer Chi Li said: What is puppy love? Why is there such a thing as puppy love? Aren’t we born to love? \”Puppy love\” is a label we put on our children. No one is born with the understanding of love. \”Puppy love\” is because we worry that our children\’s interactions with the opposite sex will affect our expectations of them. However, interactions with the opposite sex are A process that children must go through when growing up is an important part of interpersonal communication. It meets individual psychological needs, promotes the establishment of self-confidence, and exercises emotional intelligence. Having high emotional intelligence, good character, and good habits are the wealth of a child\’s life. We Learn to trust your children and give them enoughEnough love and trust, if we don’t believe that our children are good children, who else can believe in them? The famous educator Suhomlinsky said: The problem of love is a major issue in the formation of personality. Love is a required course in everyone\’s life, and it is closely related to a happy life in the future. The best education is to let children touch and experience the world by themselves, so that they can understand the true taste of happiness and tears, and thus have the ability to love and become better versions of themselves. Learning to interact with the opposite sex is a mirror of growth and exercises the ability to love. A set of pictures has been circulated on the Internet. It tells the story of a class teacher who implemented the practice of mixed men and women sitting at the same table in his class. He said: Male students can learn from the delicacy of female students, and female students can learn from the generosity, openness and strength of male students. When answering a question about students’ puppy love, he said: Some things should be removed rather than blocked. Can you block them? A netizen on Zhihu said: My cousin was good-looking and had a good temper when he was a child. Many little girls liked him. His first love was a classmate of his, who was beautiful and good at studying. My aunt and uncle found out and decided to intervene. So under the attack of teachers and parents, they separated. My cousin\’s grades plummeted, and he finally entered an ordinary university and was sent abroad. The girl didn\’t go to college. Her cousin has always felt guilty about her and wanted to take her abroad to live with her. The girl didn\’t agree. Later the girl got married. My cousin has been sad since then. When I went home for the Chinese New Year this year, my 30-year-old cousin was forced to get married. My cousin silenced all those who were forced into marriage with one sentence: You strangled love to death when I knew how to love, and don’t try to get me back when I didn’t know how to love. What age you should do what you should do is actually the most irregular rule in the world. Love, like everything else in the world, involves varying abilities and costs of trial and error. The ability to deal with emotions is a required course for people to live in the world. This has nothing to do with age, status, or early experience in the world. Love is a skill that needs to be learned and mastered. What should we do when faced with children who are just starting to have feelings and are wandering between ignorant emotions? 1. Face it together. As the head teacher mentioned above said, emotional matters are always better to be sparse than blocked. Former U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, in her autobiography \”The Extraordinary Memoirs of Growing Up Rice\”, recalled her parents\’ worries when she had a boyfriend when she was eleven years old, and the embarrassment of her parents talking about sex with her: I suddenly announced that I had a boy. My friends and parents were very worried, and our family discussed this issue together. I heard about \”puberty\” for the first time. They were hesitating, looking for the right words to express what they meant. My mother made a vague speech about \”sex\”, to the effect of: I want to keep a distance from boys. , and keep their distance from their raging hormones. Although I didn’t know what hormones were, I didn’t ask. In fact, I\’m too lazy to tell them. I already know a lot of these things from my friends\’ brothers and sisters. Finally, I just said, “Okay,” and the conversation was over. Rice\’s parents were worried, but they dared to face it. They actively sent a message to their children: We care about you, there is nothing we can\’t face, and we face it together. Parents unconditionally support childrenThe courage and confidence to face the world. 2. Face-to-face teaching skills Richard Feynman, winner of the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1965, wrote about his curiosity about the opposite sex as a boy and his mother’s guidance in \”Hello, I am Feynman\”: When I When I was still thirteen or fourteen years old, I was playing with my friends on the beach. I had a crush on one of the girls, so I said to myself: Oh, I really want to go to the movies with Barbara… ..I only said this, but the boy next to me became excited. He ran up the stone embankment, found Barbara, pushed her over, and said loudly: \”Barbara, Feynman has something to tell you.\” Soon, the boys gathered around and said, \”Hey, say Ah, Feynman! ’ So I invited her to watch a movie. That was my first date. After I got home, I told my mother and she gave me various suggestions. For example: if we take the bus together, I should get off first and then reach out to help her; if we walk on the street, I should walk on the outside. . She even taught me how to speak appropriately… Faced with the child\’s ignorant emotions, the mother does not panic, but seizes the opportunity to pass on to the child a culture: how to treat girls in a gentlemanly manner. 3. Handle the famous writer Liu Yong skillfully. When he heard that a boy was pursuing his daughter, he frankly discussed this topic with her. My daughter said: That is not chasing, but wanting to chase. Liu Yong continued to ask: Do you want them to chase you? Are you interested in them? The daughter replied: They chase theirs, and I pass mine. It’s not bad to watch a funny show. After listening to his daughter\’s words, Liu Yong told her that she should learn how to deal with these overtures from boys. He suggested: If you are not interested in suitors, you should ask them to stop in time, and do not deliberately tease these boys, or deliberately watch their funny performances, otherwise they may become resentful and make the relationship between the two parties awkward. The best love education is to teach children how to obtain happiness, minimize the harm they suffer, and finally gain true happiness. 4. Plan life. In fact, the most important thing is to let children learn to plan life. Life is so long that one cannot foresee the future; life is so short that one can roughly determine the future of one’s life when one is young. In the ignorant emotions, let the children know that besides this, there is a broader sky and ocean. In the TV series \”Little Farewell\”, although the father Fangyuan played by Huang Lei is very worried about his daughter, he does not want to invade her privacy. He hopes that if there is a \”situation\”, he can tell himself proactively. He also emphasizes: Don\’t give up the entire land because of a small pine tree. forest. Let children know that the long life ahead will always be more important than the short time in front of them. 5. Enough love and respect Children are always independent individuals, and we must learn to respect them. Love always has boundaries, and respect does not cross the boundaries. Children who are nourished in love and respect will not easily seek affection from the outside world. I once taught 12-year-old Xiao Yu\’er how to chase girls. After listening, he said seriously: Mom, I am still young, and love is still far away from me. Occasionally I would joke: If you find a girlfriend, you must find someone smarter and more capable than your mother, because you always say that I am not smart enough…And he cheerfully told me that he doesn\’t have a girl he likes at the moment, so I shouldn\’t worry. I once said: Being a parent is a practice. For every child, we are always his parents for the first time. After all, the relationship between parents and children is a relationship that gradually grows apart. I hope our children and we can always love and be honest with each other, support each other without resentment.