My child, this world will never give way to you.

I took my son to go hiking a few days ago. The almost 4-year-old little guy was very excited and climbed up very hard with his bag on his back. On a steep slope, the mud and rocks under his feet slipped and he had difficulty walking. But we were halfway there and it was impossible to go back. He stood on a ridge, unable to advance or retreat, and was very anxious. I said you try to lie down and slowly move to the edge until you can find a place of support and walk up. He just refused, fearing that he would fall. I said dad is right behind, don’t be afraid. The little guy was so anxious that he almost cried and hoped that I would help him. In fact, the purpose of taking him hiking is to exercise his willpower. This is the time for the test. I stood behind him, waiting for him to adjust himself. After waiting for a while, he still grabbed the stone in front of him with his hands, slowly moved and turned over, and finally stepped on it. At this time he felt very accomplished. \”How do you feel? Is there always a way?\” \”Yes!\” \”You chose this path yourself, so you are not afraid, right? And you have overcome difficulties yourself. Dad thinks you are awesome!\” I still have to work hard to climb to the top!\” \”You see it is even steeper ahead, so be prepared, don\’t be afraid, and persevere to the end! Because you will not bow down to suffering, and the world will not give way to you.\” He clicked. Nod and continue climbing. Maybe he doesn\’t understand it yet, but I believe he will understand one day. And this is also said to myself. Because children will grow up one day. This world is not yours alone. Don’t think that the whole world will revolve around your children just like you. When children are young, they must consciously let them experience ups and downs, face difficulties, endure setbacks, and take on responsibilities. What kind of child you want to cultivate, you must work hard as early as possible, because a person\’s personality is basically formed in childhood. Jung said: A person\’s lifelong effort is to integrate his personality that has been formed since childhood. In Alfred\’s book \”Children\’s Personality Formation\”, he talks about three key points in personality formation. One of the keys is how a person will use his life – what role he wants to play in the social division of labor. And this will become a general lifestyle and a unique goal. When many of our parents face adolescent children, the biggest problem is sometimes not the child\’s rebellion, but the child\’s lack of goals. Children without goals have no motivation to learn and are indifferent or even hostile to society. Feeling bored with your life and slipping further and further down the wrong track. Many problems are caused when we were young. Children have not been allowed to face life, endure setbacks, and take responsibility since childhood, so it is difficult to form real opinions. This will cause deficiencies in personality development. Like all parents, I love my children, but I must always beware of spoiling them. Especially boys, if they are spoiled, it will be difficult for them to truly take responsibility when they grow up. Many years later, your doting will only result in a soft, old-fashioned big boy. During the holidays a few days ago, I was chatting with a friend. He told me about a classmate of his who recently bought a house with his father paying the down payment. \”It\’s better to have a rich father!\” \”I can\’t say I\’m rich. I just do some decoration work, eat and live at work every day.He lived frugally all his life, all for the sake of his two sons. \”When the eldest son married and bought a house, it was all paid for by the father. In a few years, when the younger son grew older, he also looked at his father eagerly and followed the eldest brother\’s standards. A bowl of water must be balanced. Then he bought a house for the younger son. .I heard that there will be renovations at the end of the year. And the money for the renovations depends on the father\’s hard work in the past few months. These two brothers have been spoiled since childhood, and now their monthly salary is just enough to support themselves. They still have to go to their father\’s place from time to time. Borrow some money. It’s really hard to understand. I don’t know how this father feels? As a father, I’m thinking how terrible it would be if I raised two sons like this. But, we Aren’t many parents nowadays doing everything for their children and not letting them suffer any hardships and setbacks? If you blame these sons for not living up to expectations, you should also consider that parents are actually the main reason for this situation. I remember some time ago, my uncle from my hometown He said he wanted to build a house and asked us about the foundation. He had just experienced a life-or-death car accident. It took him half a year of treatment in the hospital to basically recover, but he could no longer do heavy work. The accident paid more than 100,000 yuan in compensation, so he wanted to build the house. Broaden it a little bit. The reason is that it will be used for his son’s marriage in the future. His son is still studying in a middle school for migrant workers’ children. He has good grades and is considered hard-working. I once suggested that he focus on his son’s training and not care too much about those who compete for face. Things. Because the people in my hometown are very competitive and build houses higher than each other. Many people worked hard and borrowed money from everywhere to build them, and then they did not decorate them. They left them uninhabitable for several years. I think the most important thing for a family is to train their children and put effort and investment in education. If the child is successful, why should he depend on the house you built to get a wife and have children? If he is not successful, your house needs to be renovated. , and the high amount of gift money, will you still be able to support yourself then? Why can\’t you be kinder to yourself? Have you considered the sequelae after the car accident? Have you considered the financial and medical problems in old age? He must be Ignore these. This is a characteristic of many of our Chinese parents, that is, they are extremely strict with themselves and worry about their children all their lives. There is no parent who does not love their children. They all want their children to live well, and are even willing to take their own Life is used to protect children. It is this kind of instinctive love, but many times the love of parents turns into doting love. I once saw a scene at the door of a primary school, which shocked me very much. During lunch time, at school Next to the school gate. A trembling grandma in her 70s was waiting for her child with a lunch box. Soon her grandson came out, and he was plump and cute. The grandma opened the box and fed the child one mouthful at a time! The child kept eating. She lowered her head and played the game on her phone and watch. After eating, grandma wiped her grandson\’s mouth, and then watched her grandson run in. Why can\’t he eat by himself? In the eyes of the elders, a child will always be a child. But Children will grow up one day. What kind of child we will raise really requires every parent to think seriously. When you see your child conflicting with other children, you are afraid that your child will suffer. When you watch your child go to school, you are worried that he will not be able to integrate.When you enter campus, you won\’t be liked by the teachers. When they grow up, worry about whether they will cause trouble. They also have to worry about their jobs and marriages. As a parent, there is nothing you don’t worry about. Sometimes I look at this little guy in my arms and wonder how I will face this with him? I hope that I and my children understand that this world is by no means a world in fairy tales. It is full of flaws and dangers, full of injustice and deception. People are divided into good people and bad people, and those with high qualities and those with low qualities. This is really a cruel and beautiful world at the same time. Therefore, if you want to remove all obstacles for your children, the idea of ​​​​arranging your life should be abandoned as soon as possible. You still need to eat your own meals and carry your schoolbags. If you hit a wall, ask your children to bear the pain by themselves instead of blaming the wall. If he falls down, encourage him to get up on his own. Because this world is not decided by you, nor will it automatically give way to life because of your willfulness. We ourselves are also working hard and walking cautiously. We also understand: This world will not take the initiative to give way, but it will favor those who work hard and are prepared. The world is not beautiful, but this does not prevent us from experiencing the beauty of the world. We are not kings and cannot give our children the world. However, we can be a watchman to help the child prepare, give him the ability and courage to face it, and let the child grow on his own. We also need to be humble learners, because on the way to becoming parents, we must work hard.