My child wakes up frequently at night, goes to bed late, and refuses to take a nap. How to break sleep regression?

Since becoming a mother, one of the most difficult things for me has been my child\’s sleep. After all, only if the child sleeps enough and well can the brain be fully rested and promote development and growth; and only when the child is asleep can the mother be free and gain some precious personal time. This is important for alleviating fatigue, anxiety, and regulating postpartum depression, and the mother\’s state will directly affect family relationships and the child\’s education. Therefore, only when the foundation of sleep is well laid can parenting form a virtuous cycle. But sleeping is the hardest thing to do. Sometimes we even encounter a sudden situation where a child who has been sleeping well suddenly breaks his original sleep pattern, wakes up frequently at night, cries, or refuses to take a nap during the day, or drags himself to bed at night, etc… …Situations often come at a time when people are unprepared and extremely overwhelmed. Hello, sleep regression~~ I encountered the legendary sleep regression like this? The first time I encountered this kind of collapse was when Guoguo was about four months old. Guo Guo had originally been able to sleep for 6 hours every night since the full moon, but suddenly she started waking up frequently at night. The resting pattern of our family of three was completely disrupted. My husband and I were often awakened by the crying of our children in the middle of the night. It took a long time and energy to get through that period. This is the first time I have witnessed the transformation from a little angel to a little devil. It turns out that babies turn their heads faster than they turn the pages of a book. What\’s worse is that this sudden change happens not just once, but frequently as the child grows. For example, the most recent big fluctuation occurred after Guoguo turned 2 years old. Taking a nap every day and going to bed at night became an impossible task. Putting aside the words \”I still want to play\” and \”I still want to read a book\”, just the cycle of drinking water and going to the toilet happens every 5 minutes, which almost wears away all my patience. I believe there are many mothers like me who suddenly realize when they are exhausted by their children: Could it be that I have encountered the legendary sleep regression? What\’s going on and how to solve it? If I don’t sleep, I won’t sleep, no matter if you are tired or not! The troublesome sleep regression is actually good news! Sleep regression, called \”sleep regression\” in English, is a stage that most babies will go through. If your baby was able to fall asleep easily and peacefully, but suddenly one day it becomes difficult for him to fall asleep, and he has to go to bed until he is exhausted, then there is no doubt that you are suffering from sleep regression. Although it is really troublesome for the little one to refuse to sleep, it is actually good news for parents! Because this means that the child\’s growth and development has reached a new level. As children grow, they will go through developmental milestones one after another, such as learning to sit, crawl, walk, talk, etc. The child\’s brain will continue to practice the new skills learned every day, even while asleep. For example, children who are learning to sit will suddenly sit up at night when they fall asleep, but in fact the child does not wake up at all; some children who have just learned to stand turn over to sleep, and may get up and stand by the way. These are very common. Therefore, several periods of rapid growth in a child’s development are often times when sleep regression occurs: 4 months: The child’s sleepThe sleep pattern begins to gradually change, slowly approaching that of an adult; it may also be that the child begins to grow teeth, making the child uncomfortable. Sleep regression may last 2-3 weeks. 9 months: The child has learned to crawl and sit. The child frequently wakes up at night and cries. Sleep regression may last 4-6 weeks. 12 months: Typical symptoms around 1 year old are that the child may begin to refuse naps or have difficulty falling asleep at night. Sleep regression can last from a few days to a few weeks. 18 months: Children at this period can walk, most of them also start to talk, and their motor skills are more mature. Sleep regression is often manifested by refusing to take a nap, or being easily annoyed or crying when falling asleep. 2 years old: Children at this age will blatantly resist going to bed and use various tricks to avoid going to bed. Sometimes he will wake up at night and it will take you several hours before he is willing to go back to sleep. Sleep regression is an international problem. Mothers need a \”survival guide\” to deal with it. What should I do if I encounter sleep regression? These methods will help you defeat them one by one! Therefore, moms, please relax. Sleep regression is not always a bad thing. It is the little guy’s seemingly “naughty” behavior that tells us that he has grown up again. Moreover, now we already know the reasons why sleep regression occurs. As the saying goes, \”Know yourself and the enemy, you can fight a hundred battles without danger.\” If you are mentally prepared before going into battle, you will not be in a hurry. If you encounter a little guy who refuses to sleep next time, you can try the following methods that I have summarized for you. If a child cannot sleep well at night and cries and refuses to sleep, the first thing we should consider is to check whether the child is feeling unwell. From the most basic things like being hungry, having a wet diaper, being too hot, too cold, to whether you are sick or have been vaccinated recently. After elimination, refer to the following items. Difficult Symptoms 1: Frequent night wakings Consider the reasons: Teething, separation anxiety, night feeding cessation, dreaming about teething and separation anxiety are common reasons for babies around 4 months old to frequently wake up at night. Teething can make children restless and may wake them up from physical discomfort even in their sleep. In addition, with the development of their mind, 4-month-old babies can more clearly distinguish whether their mother is around. If they wake up at night and find that their mother is not around, they will cry loudly. It may take several nights, or even a week, to help your child learn how to fall back asleep on his or her own after waking up at night. For children to master this skill, they cannot rely on their mothers to hold them to sleep. So instead of picking up your child and rocking him or bringing him to sleep in your bed, talk to him in a soft voice to soothe him. If you sleep in separate rooms, you can leave the room after your child is quiet. If your child cries again, you can come back and repeat it every ten minutes until he falls asleep. Avoiding night feeding and dreaming are common reasons for babies after 9 months of age to wake up at night. Usually children can quit night feeding after 6 months. If delayed for various reasons, the child may become more dependent on night feeding to help sleep. Therefore, it is very important to stop night feeding at the right time. As children\’s brains develop, sometimes children cry because of their dreams, and older babies talk in their sleep. This is normal. Usually the child does not wake up. Parents do not need to wake up the child. In most cases, the child will wake up on his own.He continued to sleep. If you are severely disturbed by nightmares, mothers can gently comfort them. Difficulty and miscellaneous disease 2: Difficulty taking naps and naps Consider the reason: babies whose biological clocks have been disrupted for several months will not actively and clearly refuse naps. If your child is full of energy when it\’s time to go to bed, it may be caused by a disrupted biological clock. First of all, you need to arrange a schedule for your baby based on his daily eating and sleeping time, and implement it as regularly as possible. Secondly, learn to observe the signals given by your child. If your child starts rubbing his eyes or yawning, it means he is overtired and his brain will be in an excited state, making it difficult to fall asleep. In addition, each child has different needs for how long to sleep, so there is no need to force it, just combine it with the child\’s actual situation. Since she was one year old, Guoguo has gradually transitioned from sleeping in the morning and afternoon to only taking one nap in the afternoon. At first, I was worried that she would not get a good rest if she slept less. Later, I discovered that the child really couldn\’t sleep in the morning. If he was forced to sleep, he couldn\’t sleep in the afternoon. On the contrary, his schedule was chaotic. It was better to let nature take its course. Routine is more important than how long you sleep. I have suffered a loss. When I was at work, my grandma arranged the child\’s nap on weekdays, and I arranged it on weekends, but my work and rest habits were different. As a result, my child stayed with me for two days on weekends, and my schedule was changed. Grandma had to spend Monday and Tuesday. The time is adjusted back, but the weekend will be ruined again… The recurring one is Guoguo\’s crying. Later, we negotiated the children\’s schedule and tried to make it as unified as possible. Attached is a table showing how much sleep children of different ages need, when to sleep, and recommended schedules for how long each time. Difficulty syndrome three: refusing to take a nap, staying up at night. Reasons to consider: desire to control, psychological factors. Some children are one and a half years old. Before and after, sometimes after the age of two, he begins to directly refuse your request for a nap: \”No! I don\’t want to sleep!\” This shows the emergence of the child\’s desire for control – he hopes to make his own decisions, from what clothes to wear when going out, Until he feels like he can do whatever he wants. This is a huge step forward in mental development, but it can be a bit tricky for parents. Especially for children aged two or three, it is easy for the more they talk, the more they argue. If parents do not handle it well, it is likely to turn into a parent-child conflict. At this time, you might as well try to make sleeping fun. For example, add an activity your child enjoys to their bedtime routine. Guoguo\’s favorite activities are reading picture books and listening to stories, so I made an agreement with her to read three books before going to bed. When it\’s time to go to bed, she will carry three books into the bedroom by herself. At first, you will encounter situations where you are pestered to teach one book after another. After a week of continuous adjustment, the child understands the rules and gradually rarely \”goes back on his word.\” There are also some older babies who are reluctant to sleep at night, which is caused by psychological factors. For example, the children have not been able to adapt to the recent separation of beds and rooms. It may also be that they are afraid of the dark, or of monsters and ghosts in stories. You can prepare some picture books for children to guide them. In this Friday\’s \”Spend Time to Read\”, I will introduce some good books. Those little points that can help you. In addition, share with you some practical and effective tips to better deal with sleep regression. 1. If it is under one year oldFor babies who frequently wake up at night due to teething or night feeding, you may consider using a pacifier, which has a certain effect on soothing your child\’s sleep. There are also studies showing that using a pacifier can reduce the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) in newborns. However, your baby may wake up if the pacifier falls out of his mouth. Therefore, after the child is 6 months old, put a few more pacifiers in the crib so that he can easily find them in his sleep. 2. There must be a routine before going to bed. Bedtime routines will help us establish regular sleep habits for our children, and are the most effective auxiliary method even when sleep regression occurs. Every day before your child goes to bed, take 30 minutes to an hour to establish your bedtime routine, such as brushing teeth and washing face, bathing and touching, playing games or telling stories before bed, etc. 3. Do not disturb the baby\’s sleep. Many children\’s sleep problems are actually caused by parents\’ \”excessive concern\”. For example, putting children to sleep, rocking them, picking them up immediately when they wake up at night, waking up their children immediately when they cry in their dreams, etc… Often it\’s not the children who need it, but some parents who can\’t wait to \”be needed\”. Falling asleep alone is an ability that a person must have. If we want our children to grow up smoothly, then we must learn to let go and give our children some time to adjust by themselves instead of racing against time to do it for them. 4. Be as patient as possible. It is always easier to break than to establish. If a child has a sleep regression, we will definitely need more time to re-establish it. It cannot be reversed in a day or two. As mentioned before, sometimes it may take us 4-6 weeks to adjust. I also find this process very tedious, and sometimes I feel that I have exhausted my temper, but I still have to show confidence and patience. Once I determine the correct method, I will persevere. If things stay the same, it’s not called taking care of children anymore. Uncertainty, constant change, is the joy of this journey. Although sleep regression is annoying, it is a necessary process for children to grow up. Losing your temper at your child may seem like a pleasure, but it is actually harmful. On the contrary, the feedback may come later, but it protects the physical and mental health of the child. And isn’t this the most important thing to mothers?