My dad, where has he gone?

Recently, there has been a very heated discussion on the topic \”Where are the fathers in China?\” A foreign father picking up his children at the school gate asked the elderly and mothers beside him: \”Why are mothers and elderly accompanying their children in Chinese restaurants, school gates, and playgrounds? Where have the Chinese fathers gone?\” This question is really frustrating. Or embarrassing, the real answers must be diverse. For example, the father has to work and has no time to spend with his children; for example, the father has a very important dinner party and has gone to socialize; for example, the father does not like to go out and plays on his mobile phone at home; for example, the couple had a quarrel and the father felt annoyed and ran out I went to have a drink with my buddies… Please click here to enter the picture description. Except for the first answer, which can be said naturally and without thinking, the others are difficult to say, with a little embarrassment and bitterness. Therefore, many people will not tell the real reason and will basically only use the first reason. Work is a last resort, how can you support your family if you don’t work or earn money? Some people say that you don’t care about your children when you work? The foreign father also had a job. While waiting for the child, he worked on his laptop and on the phone. But as soon as he saw the child coming, he immediately put down the phone, closed the computer, opened his arms, and hugged the child. The children who come. If others can do it, why can’t Chinese fathers do it? In this way, it seems that Chinese fathers are really derelict in their duties. I don’t know what kind of job this foreign father does, and he can control his time so freely. Anyway, as far as I know, not all foreign fathers can do this. Regardless of domestic or foreign, most units have clear regulations. Work and rest time, don’t be late or leave early. And what this father said was too one-sided. Indeed, in China, most of the time it is the elderly or mothers who pick up children from school. But I have seen countless times that some fathers who run their own businesses and are engaged in freelance work are waiting at the school gate on time, eagerly awaiting the arrival of their children, smiling like sunshine, holding their children\’s little hands, and happily go home. Also, it would be even more arbitrary to say that fathers are not seen accompanying their children in restaurants, playgrounds and other places in China. It can only be said that he went to too few places, or went too few times. I suggest that this father walk around after get off work, on weekends, and holidays. You can see scenes of fathers accompanying their children, or parents and children having fun together. When my son was in kindergarten, my husband worked out of town and could only come back on weekends or holidays. At the beginning, my son always liked to ask me: \”Mom, where is dad?\” I would explain to him what money is, what work is, why we need to make money, and why we need to work. As he grew older and became more sensible, he no longer asked this question. If someone asked him why he didn\’t see his father, he would patiently explain to them. Sometimes, it’s very hard for me to take care of him by myself, and I will inevitably complain about his father. He will also act as a peacemaker: \”Dad has to work and it’s very hard. Mom, please be more generous.\” Every time my husband comes back, he will be with me. Take your son to parks and playgrounds, go shopping in supermarkets, and read books in bookstores. If he doesn\’t go out, he will cook delicious food for us at home, play chess and games with his son.He plays movies and watches cartoons with him. To this day, I still remember the scene of the father and son sitting on the sofa watching \”Bear Bears\”. The two of them, one large and one small, stared at the TV intently, laughing silly, heartless, simple and happy. I believe that those beautiful pictures will remain in my son\’s mind forever and become the most precious memories. As the saying goes, some families are happy and some are sad. There are many fathers who spend time with their children, but there are also fathers who are selfish and irresponsible. There is a term that is very popular recently called \”widowed parenting\”. This term is really cruel and makes me feel desolate just hearing it. There is such a kind of invisible father, who is like a hands-off shopkeeper. He does not have to work hard to have children, and it has nothing to do with raising children. An acquaintance once complained to me about her significant other, gritting her teeth when she got excited. She said that when spring came, the father agreed to take them for an outing after repeated requests from her and her daughter. When they arrived at the outskirts, he strode in front of them, constantly urging them to walk faster. After taking a quick tour, he wanted to go home. They hadn\’t finished shopping yet and said they would play some more, so he let them go shopping by themselves and found a place to play with his mobile phone. After a while, while walking, the daughter suddenly remembered her father and asked her: \”Mom, where is dad? Why doesn\’t he play with us?\” She was embarrassed, but in order to maintain his image in her daughter\’s mind, He had to say: \”Dad worked late yesterday and is a little tired now. He will take a rest first.\” After returning home, he immediately hid in his room, closed the door and continued to play mobile games. After a while, her daughter asked her where her father was, and she had to say that he hadn\’t had a good rest yet and had gone to bed. \”Our children are already in kindergarten. He is still like a child who has not grown up. He has no sense of responsibility at all. Not playing games is as uncomfortable as killing him. He only plays games except when going to work. He never spends time with the children, let alone share the burden. Housework. I don’t know when he will become like a husband and a father. I’m really tired. I don’t know how long I can hold on…\” She looked into the distance blankly and desolately. I sympathize with her, and I believe there are many invisible fathers like this. Some people are fathers, but they don’t act like a father. They have less self-control than children. They are obsessed with mobile games, playing them at night and on weekends. They don’t listen to what is going on outside the window and only focus on playing other games. Such a person is really not worthy of being a husband or a father. If you haven\’t thought about the responsibilities you are about to take on, if you are not prepared, it is better not to get married and have children yet. To be honest, getting married will cause chaos, because marriage is by no means a one-sided effort, and no woman is willing to raise a giant baby in addition to raising a child. There is a kind of man who likes to socialize. As long as someone invites him to drink and sing, he will run faster than anyone else. Nothing is more important than going out to have fun. Three days for a small gathering, five days for a big drink, and a lot of friends, calling each other brothers and sisters and drinking and talking. If you are proud of life, you must have all the joy, and don\’t let the golden bottle stand empty against the moon. Life is short, take pleasure in the moment. They eat out more than at home and spend more time with their buddies than their children. If you ask him what to do with his children and wife, he will think your question is idiotic. child? Isn’t there a mother who takes care of the child? The child’s mother? Doesn\’t she have to take care of the children? There is such a man, whenever I quarrel with my wife, I will be in a bad mood. When I am in a bad mood, I will rush out of the door and run outside to relax. If it dissipates quickly, you can come back on the same day; if it dissipates slowly, it may take three to five days to dissipate. A husband and wife argue and get angry and run away. If you can run away, can the woman also abandon the child and run away? She doesn\’t do that because she loves this family and because of responsibility. All this makes people speechless and chilling. If a child asks her mother, \”Where is daddy?\”, can she say, \”Daddy is playing games\”, \”Daddy went drinking\”, \”I don\’t know\”? She could only knock out her teeth and swallow it, while forcing a smile on her face to fool her children: Dad went to work. If such a father does not mature as soon as possible and assume his responsibilities as a husband and father, tragedy is inevitable. Not only will it cause irreparable damage to the child\’s psychology, but it will also be a question of whether the marriage can be maintained. Change it as soon as possible, don\’t wait until your wife and children are separated, and it will be too late to regret it. It is said that a father\’s love is like a mountain. I hope every father can accompany his children to grow up with their heart, nourish their children silently with deep love, hold up a clear sky for their children with their solid arms, and create a happy home.