My face hurts after becoming a mother

A few days ago, I took Dingdang to an early childhood education class. The teacher sang English songs in rhythm. The other children danced and danced with the teacher, but he was the only one who walked around and played by himself. Although the teacher repeatedly emphasized that children can move around and play freely, I thought about the hundreds of dollars spent in one class and couldn\’t help but bring Dingdang to the teacher\’s side, hoping that he could enjoy the fun of singing and dancing with the children. However, the little guy was determined to confront me, and he finally caught him, and as soon as he hit the ground, he rolled away again. Several times like this, I, the lady who accompanied the prince to study, was so tired that my eyesight became blurred. After class was over and I walked out of the classroom, I simply put Dingdang in the lobby and let him play by himself. The little guy let go of his hands and feet, pulling the blocks a few times, and then got into Little Tyke\’s house and looked around, his little eyes shining with happiness. I suddenly discovered that Dingdang looked so happy when he was playing by himself in music class, but because I wanted him to keep up with the teacher\’s pace, in the end I made him cry and I collapsed. When Mr. Liu and I decided to enroll him in early education, we simply hoped that he could experience a different play atmosphere and did not force him to learn anything at the teacher\’s pace. So, what was I worried about? The boy\’s reading skills have improved a lot recently. He can read independently for 10 minutes at a time. Before becoming a mother, I always emphasized that I should be a tolerant mother. When I see those mothers taking their children to piano lessons in the morning and math Olympiad classes in the afternoon, I He said to Mr. Liu contemptuously: \”My child will not be so tired in the future. I just want him to grow up happily. Being happy in life is more important than anything else!\” But he only accompanied Dingdang once. During the early education music class, I felt my face hurt from being slapped and slapped~ Slogans are used to advertise, but in reality, as mothers, we seem to have worries and expectations for our children involuntarily. I think back at the beginning, when I started preparing for pregnancy but there was still no movement in my belly, I thought I might not be able to be a mother in this life. I see the daily life of pregnant mothers in my circle of friends, and I always feel envious when I see pregnant women walking slowly with their big bellies on the streets. When I got pregnant as I wished, I began to worry: as long as the blood count doubled, I hope the doctor can hear the baby\’s fetal heartbeat this time, God bless the Tang screening result, as long as I pass it safely. I have nothing else to ask for, and it is enough for my child to be born healthy. Ding Dong was born and I had a new anxiety. When I saw such a small baby during confinement, I was actually afraid that I would not be able to feed him. When I saw in the news a mother who accidentally covered her baby to death while breastfeeding, I thought to myself that as long as my Dingdang could grow up healthily and safely, that would be enough. At that time, my whole heart was on edge. I didn\’t sleep well at night, and my nerves were always in a state of high tension during the day. It was easy for me to have an emotional breakdown. When the child grows up, he is as happy and cute as the Michelin baby, and I no longer worry about whether I can feed this big fat boy. But a new problem came again. The little guy\’s baby teeth sprouted, and I was making plans to add complementary foods to him. Tableware must be imported safely and non-toxic, and raw materials must be organic. At the beginning, I still adhered to the feeding philosophy of letting children chew happily.. But gradually, as Dingdang resisted eating complementary foods, I found a new anxiety. There are more than 3 colors, a combination of meat and vegetables, different thicknesses, white meat and red meat, and no teasing while sitting on the dining chair… I have done it all, but what else should I do to make him willing to take one more bite? It can be said that my child’s daily food intake is my mood report card for that day. Now, facing Dingdang, who is now a little man who can finish his job, and looking back at the complementary food data recorded by the APP when he was anxious about eating, he actually smiled helplessly and gratifiedly. The anxiety at the beginning is still vivid in my mind, but as I walked over, I forgot about it so calmly, this is my mother! When you go out to eat, bring some puzzles, you can instantly have some pure time. After being a mother for more than a year, I have gone through many anxieties of being a first-time mother, but I still keep crawling and wallowing in new anxieties. I am constantly learning new parenting knowledge: breastfeeding, E-A-S-Y program parenting method, early childhood pharmacology, baby food supplement nutrition, child psychology, interest enlightenment… But Dingdang keeps having new situations: spitting up milk, not sleeping, getting sick and having a fever. , skipping meals, losing temper… It seems as if she has already seen her future as a mother – when her child grows up and learns to sleep well and eat well, her anxiety will not be reduced by half, and she will still fight for her to enter a better school. After all the hard work, you can’t help but rack your brains over his achievements. No matter how the elders tell me that it will be better when the children are older, and no matter how new parenting theories emphasize that only when mothers are relaxed and children are happy, I cannot control myself from being anxious and worried every time I face these problems. Like all mothers in the world, I hope that in addition to my child growing up happy and healthy, I also hope that he will be academically successful, be versatile, have good conduct, find a good wife, and have children. Only now do I have the guts to admit that I will never be the perfect, anxiety-free mother I dreamed of before becoming a mother. I also know: Anxiety cannot change the status quo; only when mothers are relaxed will their children be happy; not being able to sleep or not liking to eat will become hurdles to be crossed one after another on the parenting track; all current anxieties will be put into the long blueprint of parenting. They will all turn into ridiculous and cute little dots; however, isn’t this kind of anxiety and worry, which is full of situations and overwhelming, what the most real mother looks like? I know tomorrow will be better, but I still care about the present that is troubled by the growth of my children. Seeing and acknowledging your own anxiety may also be a kind of growth. It happens like this if you don\’t pay attention… Baby, I feel like I can no longer control your life (face covering) When I got home, my dad called me to talk about daily life. The old man is still the same as before, living a simple life every day. , but also happy and indifferent. When I was about to hang up the phone, I couldn\’t help but ask my dad: \”Dad, when I was in school, my grades were average, and you were always worried about my future life. But I\’m living a pretty good life now. Do you think your worries at that time were necessary?\” ?” The old man actually burst out laughing on the phone: “It’s really only after the daughter became a mother that she understood the heart of her parents. How can there be any unnecessary worries? Although children and grandchildren will have their own blessings, when it comes to their own children, always doNot completely relieved. I\’m also worried now about whether you will have a bad life when you get old or something. Hey, if you raise a child for a hundred years, you will have to worry for ninety-nine years, that’s how it is! \”After hanging up the phone, all my questions and anxieties had a place to go.