My mother also has a temper

I think everyone must have discovered this pattern: when we feel bad, our children don\’t feel good either. vice versa. That is, in a conflict with a child, you either win or you lose. I don\’t think any father is secretly happy: Look, I beat that kid to tears. No mother will be happy: Look, I finally lost my temper with my daughter. The moment I lost my temper with my child, I did feel a little bit relieved: I finally didn’t have to endure it anymore. It\’s all your fault for making me so angry. At this time, if there is another helper around you: look at you, how angry are you making your father (mother)? Do you know that you have to be obedient from now on? It simply felt like I had done something right: educating children and doing justice to God. But it was just a moment. Every parent who is good at reflection, when he recalls the image of himself with his hands on his hips and a ferocious face afterwards, what he tastes cannot be the joy of victory, but only regret and self-blame. This feels bad. So we secretly vowed: We will never do this to our children again! I lost my temper at him, obviously because I had poor emotional control, but I put responsibility on my child. Am I still worthy of being a parent? The next time the child makes the same mistake and tries to irritate us – rest assured, the more you don\’t want to accept the child\’s behavior, the more likely it will happen again and again. Don’t ask me how I know this, unless you weren’t raised as a child – we hold it in, like a diver holding his breath, until we’re out of breath. Anger finally took over. Once again we have successfully attacked the person for whose happiness we would sacrifice everything, including our lives. I have never doubted the sacrifice of parents for their children. I remember a class reunion many years ago. At that time, half of them were married and had children, and half were wandering outside the besieged city. The monitor asked everyone a question, if you were to lose ten years of your life and give your children a bright future, would you be willing? Those who have children blurt out: yes. Childless, absent-minded: bored. I didn’t have children at the time, and I wasn’t sure whether I would get married and have children in this life. So, I have no idea about this issue. Now, if someone is willing to trade ten years of my life for my child’s bright future. I think I will repeat the declaration I answered loudly at the wedding: I do! After writing this, I guess readers will be divided into two groups: those with children express their understanding of the author. The childless group said the author was ill. Such a person who is willing to trade ten years for a bright future for his children often falls into bad moods because he cannot control his temper. Regret, self-blame, guilt, reflection, adjustment, determination. When it comes to a certain time, a certain point, a certain event, screw NND determination, I just want to be angry! Then comes regret, self-blame, guilt, reflection, adjustment, and determination. Because I have heard more, seen more, and felt more about the disadvantages of losing temper, such as: the mother’s good mood affects the child’s life. What the child is most afraid of is the mother’s anger. For the sake of the child, the mother should control her temper and not vent her anger on the person she loves most. Losing your temper is a form of cultivation and so on. As a result, this mother was shocked every step of the way. When you are angry, endure it; when you are angry, endure it; when you are sad, endure it;If you feel wronged, endure it. He\’s not a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, how can he hold back? If you don’t have a good way to vent your emotions, for example, you have a big fight with your husband – of course it’s the mode of you quarreling and coaxing him, going shopping, having a nice meal, going out for a night, chatting all night with your best friend… Then, the emotions will accumulate, accumulate to a point, and explode on the spot. Therefore, mothers who occasionally have a little temper, get into trouble, like to eat, like to make trouble, and like to buy and buy are more emotionally stable. On the contrary, my mother, who seemed gentle and harmless to humans and animals, got angry and could set the house on fire with a straw. Is it because they have poor emotional control? not necessarily. It might be more appropriate to say that they pursue \”emotional peace\” too much! How could we not be the service staff of Haidilao, 365 days a year, smiling at children who have higher demands than God? Once you place too high demands on your temper, you will easily develop behaviors or feelings that are worse than losing your temper when you fail to do so, such as guilt, self-blame, regret, denial of yourself, or punishment of yourself. This actually led to more dissatisfaction with the child – it was all you who made me like this. In fact, I never think that my mother is so great, nor do I think that if I have a child, I should sacrifice myself, or immediately transform into a \”fairy\”. But after becoming a mother, I finally saw my own willfulness and shortcomings, so I influenced each other and grew up together with my children. As time goes by, I become more loving, tolerant, wiser, calmer, and my temper becomes better. And if we can give our mother the role of an \”ordinary woman\” instead of a \”great mother\”, we can respect our mother\’s temper, and our mother can accept that she is a person with a temper. As a result, she better accepts herself and then better accepts her children.