No matter how filial children are to their parents, they must learn to fall out on these three things to avoid trouble in the family!

Sun Qifeng, a scholar in the Qing Dynasty, once said: \”The rise and fall of a family\’s fortunes cannot be controlled by God or by humans. They must be controlled by themselves.\” The prosperity or decline of a family cannot be separated from the carefulness of each family member. Business requires everyone\’s careful maintenance of family tradition. As an elder, you should teach by words and deeds, lead by example to maintain family harmony, and lead future generations to make their lives better. As a junior, you must also know right from wrong and have a certain pattern in handling family affairs, so that your future life will be smoother. For families, the saddest thing is how they get along with each other: they are confused about big things, indulgent in wrong things, make troubles every day, and gradually go downhill. When a person reaches a certain age, he will become the pillar of the family. He must be filial in the right way and have a clear-headed attitude when encountering problems. As a child, no matter how filial you are to your parents, if you learn to turn your back appropriately on these three things, your family will be prosperous. 01 Parents sow discord at home: Only by setting good rules can the whole family be harmonious. Author Li Ailing once wrote: \”The current situation of many marriages: on one side are parents who don\’t know how to quit, and on the other side are children who don\’t know how to say no. Originally, the marriage of two people, It suddenly turned into a fighting arena for six people. \”In real life, this is the source of many intensified family conflicts and the beginning of many tragedies. If parents always like to interfere in their children\’s family affairs and interfere in their children\’s marriage problems for a long time, they will only turn small grudges into big hatreds and create too many obstacles for the family to get through. In this case, if children do not take their parents\’ \”excessive interference\” seriously, it will be easy to break up the relationship between husband and wife, and destroy the originally happy marriage in a trivial way. I read a piece of news before, and felt sad after learning the story behind it: 28-year-old Shi Chunmei in Zhangzhou, Fujian Province, left home with her two children after leaving a \”last letter\”. A few days later, the rescue team found the bodies of the mother and son in the river. When the husband heard the news, he was devastated and cried. In the \”last letter\” left by Shi Chunmei, we can get a glimpse of the reason for her despair, and we can also clearly see the family\’s relationship with each other. Shi Chunmei and her husband have been married for many years. The relationship between the couple is still good, and her husband is also very kind to her. But unfortunately, she lived with her in-laws for a long time, and the conflicts between the two generations gradually increased, and her in-laws rarely looked good on her. Not only that, the parents-in-law often spread rumors in front of outsiders that \”the daughter-in-law is vicious and bullies the elderly.\” After being spread with people\’s jealousy, Shi Chunmei\’s reputation was gradually destroyed. Her husband knew clearly what his parents had done and how difficult it was for his wife, but he could do nothing about it. Instead, he kept persuading his wife to continue to be patient. As time goes on, the parents-in-law become more and more unscrupulous, and the daughter-in-law becomes more and more gloomy, losing hope in life day after day. When a person\’s grievances and pains are not understood and have nowhere to vent, they will overwhelm the spiritual world and lead them step by step to despair. Finally, she wrote down her pain in her suicide note and told her husband: \”Your parents can lie, but you can clarify it for me in front of others, so I will feel very relieved. After I leave, I hope you can protect my reputation.\” , don’t let your parents ruin me anymore.”In ancient times, it was believed that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been an unavoidable topic in family conflicts. However, the secret to handling this relationship well is: whether as a husband or a son, there should be no harmonious relationships and a clear distinction between right and wrong. If your partner made a mistake first and had conflicts with his parents, communicate the problem in time to resolve the knot between each other as soon as possible. If parents are too mean and blindly \”sow discord\” and hurt the harmony, they cannot ignore their partner\’s feelings and favor their elders too much. Be measured when you need to set rules, and don\’t run away when you need to step in to solve problems. Only in this way can you live a happy life. After all, if the family relationship is misaligned, people\’s hearts will be scattered; if old debts accumulate, the family will be in chaos. Yang Jiang wrote a sentence in \”We Three\”: \”Our family is very simple and simple. We have nothing to do with the world or fight with others. We just want to get together, stay together, and do what we can. \”A truly harmonious family is one where both parents and children can do their part, make each other comfortable, and have lasting warmth.\” 02 Parents act too eccentric: Only by putting aside their generosity can they live a comfortable life. Some time ago, a video sparked a heated discussion on the Internet: a mother recorded the process of her daughter doing housework. The caption said that although the second child is not lovable, But she can work. In her description, the eldest daughter can draw, but she doesn\’t like to talk to others; the third daughter has good grades, but is really lazy. When it comes to the second daughter, there is only a simple \”unlovable, capable\”. Looking at the girl in the video doing housework seriously, and then looking at the mother\’s straightforward partiality, everyone feels sad. In the comment area of ​​that video, someone lamented: \”When a bowl of water is uneven, only by sacrificing the kindest person can the situation be peaceful; once the kindest person is unwilling to sacrifice anymore, he will be labeled as destroying harmony. Hat. If a family suddenly becomes disconnected, it may be that the person who has been suffering does not want to suffer anymore. \”I have seen many such families. If there are multiple children in the family, the love of the parents will inevitably be imbalanced. , while doting on one child, he will also be overly picky about another child. And the child who has been neglected for a long time will be taken for granted by his family and his feelings will be ignored all year round, no matter how much he gives. The more he tolerates, the less people take his emotions seriously. The balance of love tilts again and again, the relationship between brothers and sisters will be affected, and the temperature of the home becomes colder and colder. My relatives have a son and a daughter. The daughter has been well-behaved and sensible since she was a child. In order to reduce the burden on the family, she will work on her own in her spare time to earn living expenses after going to college. However, she is still often accused of not being good enough. The son grew up under the pampering of his parents and grandparents. He had to stretch out his hands for clothes and open his mouth for food. He wanted to drop out of junior high school before he finished junior high school, and his parents would let him have his way. After the elder sister gets married, whenever the younger brother encounters a problem, the parents will go to their daughter\’s house and ask her to help at all costs. She and her husband worked hard for many years and finally saved 200,000 yuan, but her parents asked for their savings on the pretext of starting a business for her younger brother. Perhaps she was used to giving, so she gave all the money to her brother without her husband\’s knowledge, hoping to get approval from her parents. But when the husband learned about this, he became furious, and the couple quarreled endlessly.It even went so far as to get divorced, but her parents didn\’t take it seriously and didn\’t care about her marriage at all. Only then did the daughter realize that in a family where a bowl of water is never equal, no matter how much you pay or how well you do, it is all in vain. Instead of giving in everywhere and swallowing all the grievances, it is better to put away your generosity and live your life well. I very much agree with Yan Geling\’s words: \”I found that after a person gives up the burden of leaving a good impression on others, his heart will be so at ease. A person can stop being burdened if he no longer has to please others.\” When people reach middle age, even if they are In blood and family relationships, you have to stick to your own principles, show your trump cards, and turn your back in time when you are hurt. This is the best way to protect yourself. Don\’t give without a bottom line, otherwise it will not only hurt yourself, but also ruin your beautiful and happy life. Being considerate is kindness, but if you are tolerant without principles, you will only betray your sincerity and consume your good intentions. Please remember, never spoil an ungrateful person, don\’t be soft-hearted when it\’s time to refuse, and don\’t give in when the bottom line is reached. 03 Parents have deficient moral conduct in life: Only by distinguishing right from wrong can the family tradition be stabilized. There is an old saying: A house that accumulates good deeds will be blessed; a house that accumulates bad deeds will be troubled. What kind of family tradition a family inherits will determine what kind of fortune it will reap. A family with profound virtues and upright character can not only set a good example for future generations and leave the most precious wealth, but also accumulate a steady stream of blessings and make the family prosperous for generations. If the old man has no virtue and is not upright, the children must distinguish right from wrong and guide their parents back to the right path, so that the family tradition can be stabilized and disasters can be avoided. As the old saying goes: Parents love their children and have profound plans for them. In fact, the same goes for children who love their parents. Only by having an overall view can a family go a long way. In the popular drama \”Know or Not\”, the eldest wife Wang Ruofu is reckless and easily confused, but she raises three upright, kind and sensible children. Because of Wang Ruofu\’s impulsive personality, he is often instigated by people with ulterior motives to do things that are unethical and harmful to others and himself. But every time she makes a mistake, the children will not sit idly by and let her mother make the same mistake again and again, causing a catastrophe. Wei Xiaoniang passed away in childbirth. When the eldest lady, as the head mother of the house, dealt with the matter, she originally wanted to settle the matter hastily. After the eldest daughter Hualan learned the news, she immediately came to persuade her mother to organize Wei Xiaoniang\’s funeral properly and take her younger sister Minglan to take care of her. This stabilized the overall situation. Later, because Wang Ruofu was bewitched by Aunt Kang, he was obsessed with it and impulsively poisoned the old lady of the Sheng family, causing the old lady to fall into coma. When his son Sheng Changbai learned about this, he was busy with official business in other places, but he still rushed back to the Sheng family. Faced with a messy situation, dealing with the vicious Aunt Kang and the confused Wang Ruofu, he did not protect his mother regardless of right or wrong just because he was his biological mother. Others looked at him as a joke and asked him: \”Your mother made a mistake, but I want to see if you, as a son, can live alone?\” He directly stated his position and asked his mother to go to the temple in his hometown to practice spiritual practice. Ten years, which for Wang Ruofu is almost equivalent to imprisonment, can also make her realize her mistakes deeply. Wang Ruofu, the mother of the Sheng family, is confused and short-sighted, and her fatherMy dear Sheng Hong was timid and tactful, and he was good at conciliation. In many important matters, fortunately, several of his descendants had a clear sense of justice and upright views, so the Sheng family\’s family tradition was preserved. Zeng Guofan, a famous official in the late Qing Dynasty, said in his family letters: To teach people with words is to teach them well; to educate people with virtue is to nourish people well, all of which are good things to others. Parents educate their children to pass on the family tradition, putting morality first; the same goes for children to guide their parents and uphold the family tradition. Family tradition is the foundation of a family and the invincible foundation of the family. Parents who are charitable and virtuous, and whose children can distinguish right from wrong and convince others with their virtues, and whose morality is passed down to the family, will naturally bring infinite glory to the family. ▽It is written in \”Proverbs Lian Bi\”: \”Diligence and frugality are the foundation of running a family; docility is the foundation of managing the family; prudence is the foundation of protecting the family; loyalty and filial piety are the foundation of inheriting the family.\” If a family wants to prosper for a long time, it cannot do without Everyone in the family should be self-restrained, cautious, and keep their minds clear. Never forget: when parents are old, children should be true filial piety to their parents by being leaders, supporting family responsibilities, and shouldering the things they should.