No matter how hard it is, you must take care of your children yourself

I remember that I had just graduated. Once, there was a dinner party with old classmates, and a classmate brought his boyfriend over. At that time, everyone had dinner together and talked about their ideals in life. When talking about children in the middle, I said that the children I gave birth to were better raised by myself. The gentleman said as the glasses were spread: \”It\’s not necessary. The child is not sensible. It would be much easier to just take care of the old man. The child is too troublesome. Besides, children have no memory of how old they are. It doesn\’t matter who cares.\” We heard at the time After hearing this broad discussion, I don’t know how to answer. But if I were a woman and said these words to him, I would definitely break up with him. Because I have always felt that no matter how hard it is, I have to raise my own children myself. I think the biggest harm to a child is that when the child needs you the most, you can\’t see it. But when your children no longer need you when they grow up, you follow them closely, forcing you every step of the way. During the first 0-6 years of age, children want to follow their parents closely. Sleeping requires cuddling, telling stories, and companionship. After waiting for this period of time – God gives us the effective time to be parents. Then, God will take it back. At that time, the child has his own friends, life circle, and interests. They start to become more independent and stop pestering you. Especially in high school and college. We can only watch silently from behind and wait. Please cherish the time you spend with your children. No matter how difficult it is, I still have to take care of the children myself. Because parents neglect to educate their children when they are in need, no matter how rebellious their children are in the future, parents will only be able to shake their heads and sigh. I have seen many left-behind children, and I feel very uncomfortable. Sadly, many parents treat these children as ignorant little animals instead of considering them as complete human beings. Research on self psychology has found that a baby under 1 year old is already a complete person. Rather than a little animal that knows nothing but eats, drinks, and poops. And when parents ignore their children\’s complete personality, they will harm their children with peace of mind. Ignore the child\’s inner psychological needs. I was chatting with a friend from elementary school a few days ago. He said he was going to have his second child soon. Who will take care of the child? He said he would send her home and care for the elderly for three years, and then he would take her to kindergarten. This is how the eldest child is raised, and the second child remains the same. But what would his boss think? I remember their boss. It was a Spring Festival. I passed by his house and happened to meet the old man and chatted for a while. The child was almost 3 years old at the time. When he saw me, he quickly hid behind grandma and looked at me timidly. Grandma said, \”Call me uncle. Come on, he\’s your father\’s friend.\” I said don\’t call him, it\’s okay. \”This child is usually quite sensible, but he doesn\’t dare to call anyone and is timid.\” Grandma said at the side. The timid look in the child\’s eyes is something I will never forget. Also some time ago, something happened in my hometown. My mother went back. When you come back, tell me the story of a child from your grandma’s house. The child is just two years old, but very well-behaved. \”That child is very cute, with big eyes, and he looks very smart. He doesn\’t need anyone to feed him. He can eat half a bowl of white rice with a little soup on his own. He hides when he wets his pants because he is afraid of being beaten. But still I was caught and beaten. I didn’t cry even when I was beaten.Because he didn\’t dare to cry, he was beaten even more fiercely when he cried. \”This child is fostered in the home of an aunt of his mother because his parents are working outside. There are three children in the old man\’s family. This \”foreign\” child must be more sensible. Everyone said that the child is so good, really sensible, and easy to take care of. . But I feel that this child is so pitiful. He has been suppressed since he was a child and wants to please the people who raised him. Growing up in such a native environment, there will definitely be psychological problems in the future. Psychologist Winnicott is talking about individuals When it comes to development, it is mentioned that “emotional development during the first few years of a child’s life forms the basis of individual human mental health. \”Many cases have pointed out that most problem children often behave repressively and well-behaved when they are young. However, in adolescence, they are often prone to develop anti-social personality, rebellion, bad habits, etc. The child\’s heart is like a garden. The seeds of love were not planted when he was young. He was not given the love and care of the sun, rain and dew. Then darkness would be allowed to breed and weeds would become overgrown. Therefore, many parents only find out when their children are older, and it is too late. When their children are older, After that, you will be punished doubly for your laziness. How does the child’s little heart feel? Very early on, I wrote a short poem \”Mom, it’s a pity that you are not here\”, trying to start from a It writes children\’s desires from the perspective of children. It is also a short poem written for parents who cannot be with their children due to work or various other reasons. \”Mom, it\’s a pity that you are not here\” Mom, I stretched out my little hand to grab your face But you are not here. I rush to the room excitedly and want to tell you the secret I discovered but you are not here. Mom, I want to tell my friends that my mother is beautiful but you are not here. I miss you very much but I pretend not to miss you because I am afraid that I will feel uncomfortable. I pouted my little mouth again. I dreamed of you in my sweet dreams. I was waiting for you by the roadside, listening to the roaring buses. I often said goodbye to you in the hazy morning light, half asleep and half awake. Every time I raised my head, My little face pretended not to care as I said goodbye to you. When the night was about to close, I thought I was holding you when I was about to fall asleep. But when I woke up, I still found that you were not there. Mom, I miss you many, many times every day. But that’s it. Don’t know how to say it? (End) Every time I read it, I have different feelings. Because there is a child living in each of us. A happy or unhappy child. Only when you take care of your child can you slowly Go into the child\’s heart. A mother said that she cannot raise her child if she is not close to her. That is because the child cannot feel your love. If you don\’t raise your child yourself, you will find that the child is full of problems because you simply don\’t care. Understand them. So when you blame a child, first ask yourself, do you really understand the child in front of you? If you have not personally raised your own child, it is difficult to say that you are a real parent. You are only a parent who has given birth to a child, not a child. Parents in the true sense. For children who are born but not raised, the situation is no different from that of orphans. Parents must take the responsibility of raising their children themselves. Children come to you, not grandparents. Being a parent is It is not an easy job, and there are no shortcuts. But for thousands of years, we still have parents who have worked hard to raise their children. Raising their children with their own handsThe happiness and satisfaction are unmatched by any job. And this kind of love is irreplaceable.