No success in education can make up for the failure of a child’s education

A few days ago, a friend shared such an incident with me. A boy from his neighbor took the college entrance examination this year, but failed. On the day the score was released, the entire community heard his parents yelling downstairs: \”We spent so much money, and you got like this? Are you worthy of us? It\’s really embarrassing.\” I\’m disappointed!\” The boy was speechless, followed by bursts of sobs. I heard that this couple opened a chess and card club. They spent time in the shop almost every day and didn\’t care much about their children, but they had very high academic requirements for their children. Every time he failed to meet their requirements in the exam, they would scold the boy. That night, the boy ran away from home. His parents sent messages to the group to find him and called the police, and finally found their child the next day. After hearing this, I couldn\’t help but sigh. There is such a kind of parents who muddle along and don\’t put much effort into their children, but they desperately ask their children to do this and that. Once the requirements are not met, they will be criticized, beaten and scolded, blaming the child for not paying attention. 01 The most failed kind of parents are those who spoil themselves but try their best to control their children. I saw a video in which a 5-year-old boy cried and complained about his father: \”You know how to let me study every day, but you are the only one in the whole family who doesn\’t study and is still playing with your mobile phone. Have you ever studied it yourself? Add You can’t even subtract the multiplication table, and you still make it so difficult for me to read. You go to bed so early at home, get up late, and you always play games on your mobile phone. Your mobile phone is confiscated and you are not allowed to play anymore. .\” It seems funny, but it exposes the true reality of thousands of families. How many parents are immersed in the card table all day long and do not do their job, but they ask their children to do their homework immediately after school; they are at home with their legs crossed, browsing Taobao and watching videos on their mobile phones, but they ask their children not to play mobile phones or games; They are motivated and lose their enthusiasm for learning new things, but they require their children to learn this and that and attend various cram schools. … Even though you can\’t do it yourself, you still require your children to complete it. This kind of education is the most feeble. I remember one time when I went to a friend’s house, I happened to see her scolding her third-grade son: “How long have you been watching TV today and you still haven’t done your homework?” Her son retorted unconvinced: “Dad was just lying there playing. We were playing Landlords this afternoon, why didn\’t you talk about him?\” After saying that, his son reluctantly took out his homework book. He seemed to be studying, but his eyes kept glancing towards the TV. When my friend saw it, he couldn\’t help shouting: \”Is there anyone like you who watches TV while doing homework? It\’s so outrageous!\” The boy was also annoyed: \”Don\’t you often work overtime at home and play with your mobile phone at the same time? You adults always That’s it, you can’t even do it yourself, yet you keep asking me!” After saying that, he entered his room without looking back and slammed the door. There is a kind of parent who particularly likes to have \”double standards\” in life. They try their best to control their children even though they can\’t do it themselves. Require children to be self-disciplined, require children to be focused and conscientious in their studies, require children to achieve good results every time… You must know that every child imitates the behavior of their parents and follows their parents\’ footsteps to go far away. As a parent, the most taboo thing is to force your children with endless preaching, but indulge yourself with loose slack. Central vision recommendation is over 500This is an excellent documentary recommendation with high scores. Children will become addicted to self-discipline after watching it. 02 Most of the problems in children are the projection of their parents’ problems. The author of \”Positive Discipline\” once shared an experience: She found that her child always gave up half-way in doing things recently. He lost the Rubik\’s Cube after playing with it for a few minutes; the same was true for reading books, and threw them aside after reading only a few pages. She felt a little strange and asked the child. The child said: \”I learned it from you!\” She was stunned, and then recalled that when she was writing manuscripts recently, she would impatiently crumple the manuscript paper into a ball, throw it into the trash can, and then Turn around and do other things. She never expected that the bad habits she had developed invisibly would affect her children. Many parents complain about various problems in their children, such as laziness, dilly-dallying, not taking things seriously, not liking to study… but they ignore that children are the mirror of their parents, and most of their children\’s problems are external projections of their parents\’ problems. Comedian Liu Yang talked about his experience as a teacher in the \”Annual Comedy Competition\”. He had a student who was not serious every time in class and always liked to bury his head under the desk and mess around. So he thought about having a good talk with his parents during the parent-teacher meeting. As a result, on the day of the parent-teacher meeting, as soon as Liu Yang entered the classroom, he immediately recognized who the student\’s parent was. Because the parent was playing with his mobile phone under the desk exactly the same as his son. CCTV host Bai Yansong said that in China’s education, the most worthy of criticism are parents. \”It is difficult for parents who play mahjong at home every day to teach their children to read. Many parents always complain that their children are not progressing enough, and then blame them as social problems or educational problems. In fact, a large proportion of these complaints hide the shirk of responsibility. Part.\” The parent is the original and the child is a copy. Many children\’s problems are basically their parents\’ problems. Parents\’ words, actions, and thoughts will affect the child\’s character and slowly change his destiny. How far a child can go in the end depends on the practice of his parents. It is difficult for parents who are not self-disciplined and lack strong willpower to raise outstanding children. As educator Makarenko said: \”A parent\’s requirements for himself, a parent\’s respect for his family, and a parent\’s attention to his every behavior are the first and most important education methods.\” Parents regard Taking care of yourself is the best education for your children. 03The excellence of children is soaked in the sweat of their parents. After passing the college entrance examination this year, many high-scoring academics were on the hot search, and one of them, a pair of twin brothers, impressed me deeply. They are from Changsha, study in the same grade and class, and took the college entrance examination together. This time, both of them actually got a high score of 688, and they both want to devote themselves to construction machinery construction in the future. Faced with such two \”genius academic masters\”, many parents\’ faces were full of envy: \”Why do outstanding children always belong to other families…\” However, they only saw outstanding children, but not them. Parents who work silently behind the scenes. When asked how he raised two such outstanding children, the father of the twins summed it up in six words: interest, habits, and companionship. When the brothers first entered elementary school, their parents began to pay attention to their education.Their interest in learning allows them to develop the habit of self-study. Although the couple is usually busy with work, they always try to spend as much time as possible with their children. A child who strives for self-discipline definitely does not fall from the sky. Behind him must be the hard work and dedication of his parents. I am reminded of He Jiang, the first Chinese to speak at Harvard’s graduation ceremony. He was born in a small village in Ningxiang, Hunan. His family was poor and his parents went out to work during the day. But no matter how hard or tired the father is during the day, he must tell his children stories before going to bed at night, as he has for more than ten years. Many parents like to play cards and drink at night, but his parents set up a small table at home and read with him. Although He Jiang\’s parents didn\’t understand many truths, they believed that \”books have their own beauty, and books have their own houses of gold.\” They broadened their children\’s horizons through books and sown the seeds of hope and dreams in their children\’s hearts. I have heard this saying: Life is a process of continuous growth and branches. Parents are the roots of their children, helping them absorb more nutrients, so that the branches and leaves will become more lush. No one is born to be a top academic, and no one is born to be a supporting role. The difference between children is actually the difference between parents. Instead of envying how good other people\’s children are, it is better to become a parent that others can envy. If you want your children to be outstanding, parents must not save effort. How much time and energy you invest, your children will give you many surprises. 04Excellent parents never take care of their children, but work hard to take care of themselves. I\’ve seen a video like this. A father practices calligraphy with his four children every day. The eldest daughter wrote the De Jing, the second daughter wrote the Thousand-Character Classic, the younger daughter wrote the Three-Character Classic, and the youngest son practiced penmanship. After practicing calligraphy every day, the father will continue to read with his child. No matter how late he sleeps, he will insist on reading with his daughter in the morning the next day. It is precisely because of his father\’s practice and practice in cultivating good study habits in his children that their grades have always been among the best. Good parents never deliberately influence their children, but set an example and make themselves a role model for their children. Just like this mother and son who were given an intravenous drip together in the hospital. Documentary: Travel with Tang Shi. Full 5-episode high-definition 1080P documentary. As a teacher, her mother is carefully correcting the test papers. Even if she is sick, she does not forget to stick to her own job. Under the leadership of her mother, her son is also deeply affected and will never slack off. , completing the homework carefully. I think of a beautiful idiom in ancient China called \”Zhilan Yushu\”. It tells the story of the descendants of Xie An, a famous prime minister in the Eastern Jin Dynasty, who are all talented, just like the orchid and jade trees growing in the courtyard, one generation after another, never declining. The dignitaries of the Eastern Jin Dynasty were extremely envious of the Xie family. Some people couldn\’t help but ask Xie An: \”I haven\’t seen you teach your children. How come they all become Zhilan Yushu?\” Xie An said a classic saying: \”I often Educate your children by yourself.\” In today\’s terms, the best family education is for parents to be themselves. Third-rate parents serve as nannies, second-rate parents serve as coaches, and first-rate parents serve as role models. Family is the first school for children to grow up. Children can\’t help but imitate their parents and copy their parents\’ way of doing things, treating it as a standard and role model in life. If you want to raise an outstanding child, parents must firstFirst, set an example. Because the family is the root, and the children are the leaves, branches, and fruits. Only if the roots are deep, strong, and the root system is developed, will the fruit of the child be fuller. When you are diligent, studious, self-disciplined, and motivated, a positive magnetic field will gather around you, and your children will absorb your breath and energy and become an outstanding person. Educator Jing Shenda said: \”The words and deeds of parents are the best teaching materials for their children. First-class parents create first-class children.\” The best way to achieve a child is not to force him to become someone. Instead, parents continue to push themselves, continue to grow, reflect, and learn, and accumulate a steady stream of energy for their children. Give it a thumbs up and encourage all parents out there.