Once parents commit this taboo, they will not be able to raise promising children.

Two days ago, a reader confided in the backstage and said this: One day at noon, she was struggling to feed her child, but the child did not pay for it, played carelessly while eating, and even touched the bowl. Food was scattered on the floor. She got angry and yelled at the child: \”I feel so tired every time I eat. Go to the wall and think about the past! Don\’t eat tonight either!\” When the grandma standing next to her saw this scene, she naturally felt distressed and hurried away. She comforted her crying grandson and said to her, \”Oh, our eldest grandson is the best. Come, grandma will feed you and ignore mom.\” After hearing this, the mother was furious. Just come and complain to me. I believe this scene has happened to your family to a greater or lesser extent, and most of the time it is the mother who educates and the father and grandma who disrupt the situation. Today, based on this reader’s private message, let me talk to you again about why demolition education is not advisable. 01 \”Disruption-style\” education. Most of the \”disruption-style education\” evolved from \”deceptive education\”. This situation often happens to fathers. Specifically, it means that the father is often absent from family education, but occasionally appears suddenly on some things that are unacceptable, and takes turns blaming the child and the mother for no apparent reason. Such education will bring double harm to children and mothers. I remember seeing a comment like this in a news article about \”bogus education\”: My father waited for more than 20 years before he thought of teaching me how to be a good person. It was not for my own good, but actually to satisfy his middle-aged patriarchy. Just missing. I don’t even know what heavy father’s love is. Compared with the love my mother gave me, he really lacks so much. It is precisely because of this kind of \”deceptive education\” that more \”destructive education\” has been spawned. In order to satisfy the psychological guilt of the child\’s lack of education, the party who is causing trouble will participate in the process of educating the child from time to time, \”singing the opposite tune\” with the other party, and finally \”successfully breaking up the trouble\”. This approach looks like both parties are \”educating\” the children, but in fact it is extremely lethal and can easily cause family conflicts, and the rules set for the children can easily collapse. 02 Who will be harmed in the end by dismantling the stage-style parenting? Professor Li Meijin once said: \”To control children, you only need one voice.\” In the eyes of children, father and mother are one, and disruptive education undoubtedly forces children to choose one of the two. In \”The Story of Youth\”, there was such a classmate who impressed Chen\’s mother deeply: He said: His parents often had disputes because of his learning problems. Dad thinks he can play first and then do his homework. Mom thinks he must finish his homework first before he can play. Such a small incident triggered a quarrel between the parents, which eventually even reached the point of \”divorce\”. When the child heard his parents quarreling and getting divorced, he was very scared. He thought: \”If I studied well and had good habits, my parents wouldn\’t quarrel.\” The boy on the stage burst into tears, which made people feel very uncomfortable. . If parents do not present a united front, only the children will be hurt the most. This kind of harm can even last until the child grows up, negatively affecting his future development and decisions. Therefore, if parents really love their children, they must work together and become one. A harmonious family can give its children the greatestsense of security. 03 Co-education, parents must master these 3 principles 01 Educate children, one person is the leader. Nowadays, many families have five or six adults \”raising\” one child. In the process of educating children, it is inevitable that there will be ramblings. At this time, the family members need to reach an agreement and jointly agree on whose education method will be the main method. This will also help to formulate rules for the children. Generally speaking, education is best left to one parent. Grandparents and grandparents need to maintain an appropriate educational distance. After all, there is still a certain gap in the concept of intergenerational education. Parents spend more time with their children and are more suitable for educating their children. 02 Don’t quarrel in front of your children. A few days ago, “Yue Yunpeng helps children with homework” became a hot search topic. He even posted a “recruitment notice” to find someone to tutor children. It turns out that all parents tutor their children in the same way. However, Yue Yunpeng has an educational principle that he agrees with very much. He and his wife made an agreement not to quarrel in front of their children. Generally, when two parties in education have disagreements, it is easy for them to get into trouble and turn into a quarrel caused by a trivial matter. This will make the children feel that the quarrels between their parents are all caused by themselves. Therefore, when a couple has a conflict, they can negotiate slowly in private. Arguing in front of the children will not solve the problem. 03 Respect each other. Many fathers or mothers not only like to undermine each other at home, but also like to undermine each other in front of outsiders, without taking the other person\’s feelings into consideration at all. Here, I would like to share with you a sentence I once saw: \”In a happy family, both husband and wife will be relatively mature mentally. They will not think about controlling each other, but will be independent and respect each other, and will not blame or undermine each other.\” Only Only by respecting and trusting each other can we create a harmonious family atmosphere. Otherwise, family conflicts will only continue to deepen. You set up the stage, he breaks it down, and the cycle repeats, which not only hurts the children, but also makes the adults physically and mentally exhausted. Therefore, if we want children to respect their parents from the bottom of their hearts and obey their parents\’ education, the first thing they need to do is to establish a good image of us. I hope today’s article can help you. Let’s refuse destructive education together so that children can be encouraged rather than despaired.