Once you get the hang of raising children, your children will be the dark horses

Many parents have this feeling: It is easy to raise children, but it is not easy to educate them well. On the long road of raising children, every parent is constantly exploring and trying, eager to find the key to unlocking the unlimited potential of their children. However, in real life, we find that raising children is like sailing in unknown waters, full of challenges and confusion. However, when one day, we suddenly realize and become enlightened, we will be pleasantly surprised to find that children can turn out to be a remarkable dark horse. Once you understand, your children will be better. On the road to parenting, some parents often wander in anxiety and confusion. This kind of anxiety follows them everywhere, affecting their emotions and decision-making. Parents\’ anxiety will put pressure on children\’s growth to a certain extent. I was worried that my children would be lost at the starting line, so I enrolled them in tutoring classes and interest classes one after another, trying to create a \”perfect child\” with a full schedule. My friend’s child is 8 years old this year. In order to expand the child’s interests, my friend arranged a full range of interest classes for the child during the summer vacation, such as painting, vocal music, dance, etc. Throughout the summer vacation, while other children were playing and traveling around, my friends were busy taking their children between classes. I thought that the child would have a meaningful holiday, but unexpectedly, throughout the holiday, the child cried every now and then and did not want to go to class anymore, which made the whole family unhappy. In fact, I quite understand my friend’s painstaking efforts. Looking at life, those parents who are trapped in anxiety often come from the middle class. They cannot bear to take advantage of the elders, cannot bear to take advantage of the younger ones, and their spouses are equally capable as themselves. The fear of not being able to rely on can only constantly urge the children to work hard, and the obsession with excellence makes mothers go further and further down the road of anxiety. Educating children is a long journey, and parents’ anxiety is not terrible; the key is to correctly understand and treat anxiety, and find an education method that suits you and your children. When you suddenly have an enlightenment one day, the clouds will clear, the sun will shine, and your child will be able to gallop forward like a dark horse. So, how can parents get enlightened? First of all, parents must learn to self-reflect. Educating children is not a one-way output, but a process of mutual growth. When a child has a problem, don\’t rush to blame and criticize, but calm down and reflect on whether your own education method is appropriate. For example, when a child has a bad temper and refuses to obey discipline, parents must first think about whether they are also prone to losing control of their emotions in daily life. Only through self-reflection and timely adjustment of your own parenting methods can you give your children more love and help. Secondly, it is crucial to maintain a learning mentality. Educational concepts and methods are constantly being updated. Parents cannot rest on their laurels and must actively learn advanced educational knowledge. The so-called parenting refers to raising oneself. Education is a journey of growing up with children. Parents can constantly enrich themselves, constantly revise their own education methods, and make progress with their children by reading professional parenting books and attending educational lectures. Only by understanding the psychological characteristics and development needs of children at different stages and mastering effective communication skills and guidance methods can we better deal with various problems in children\’s growth.. There is a sentence in the book \”Meet Children, Meet a Better Self\”: The reason why we become parents is not to write our children\’s lives, but to purify our hearts and allow us to completely change ourselves. Only by understanding this can we have the opportunity to progress, grow, and mature. Recognize these 3 points, and you will be truly enlightened. 1. Real enlightenment first lies in respecting the growth patterns of children. Every child is unique, with their own personalities, interests and talents. Some children naturally like to read quietly, while others are passionate about sports. We cannot use unified standards to measure them, but should observe and listen carefully to discover the shining points of children. Just like a little poem that once went viral on the Internet, \”New York is 3 hours ahead of California time\”: New York time is 3 hours ahead of California time, but California time does not slow down. Some people graduated at the age of 22, but waited five years to find a job! Someone became a CEO at the age of 25 and died at the age of 50. There are also people who don’t become CEO until they are 50 years old and then live to be 90 years old. Some people are still single, while others are getting married. …Yes, life is actually a one-way street. Everyone grows and lives in his own time zone and at his own pace. Flowers have their blooming season, and so do children. Every child is the seed of a flower, but the flowering time is different. The essence of education is \”three points of teaching, seven points of etc.\” As Dr. Montessori said: Every child has a program. What kind of problems he should understand at a certain age is actually fixed; you can\’t force it. Excessive artificial interference will only destroy the child. he. 2. For real enlightenment, we need to give our children real companionship. In the British documentary \”Seven Years in the Life\”, the director spent more than 60 years following 14 children, from childhood to old age, recording their growth trajectory every seven years. Through this documentary, we can find that those children who lacked parental care since childhood have grown up to distrust the world, lose their dreams, and have a confused life; while those children who have grown up with their parents have received a good family education since childhood. When you grow up and become an adult, you generally have lofty ideals and extraordinary insights, and you will eventually live a happy life. The most precious gift that parents give to their children in childhood is never toys or material satisfaction, but your attentive companionship. Every outstanding child is born with the care of his parents. When the famous writers Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang raised their daughter Qian Yuan, they paid great attention to companionship. They read, played and discussed problems together, giving Qian Yuan a loving and warm growing environment. Qian Yuan often said when she was a child: \”My father and I are the best buddies. We are my mother\’s two naughty boys. My father is not worthy of being my brother, only a younger brother.\” In such an atmosphere, Qian Yuan grew up to be a knowledgeable, kind-hearted and thoughtful person. Loving people. When he grew up, no matter how busy he was at work, Qian Yuan would always rush home to sew pajamas for his mother who was a light sleeper, and peel off candy wrappers for his father who loved to eat sweets. When you pour companionship, patience and love into your children, your children will naturally reward you with a star-like self in return. 3.Real enlightenment requires cultivating children\’s independent abilities. I once saw this sentence on the Internet, and I was deeply moved by it, \”If you can\’t support me all my life, why have you been so pampered to me since I was a child?\” Parents who love their children must have long-term plans. One day, a child will leave his parents, and he will eventually have to make his way in the world on his own. Do you want him to be cared for like a flower in a greenhouse, unable to withstand the wind and frost outside; or do you want him to survive independently and be able to deal with any problems calmly? As parents, we have two tasks that we must do well: first, to accompany him to grow and establish a close parent-child relationship with his child; second, to teach his child to take care of himself and promote his independent growth. Dr. Montessori said: \”The highest goal of educating children is to make them independent; they do not need to rely on their parents either mentally or materially, and they are responsible for their own thoughts and actions.\” Independence is the greatest soft power for children in their growth. In the long journey of raising children, we often have various expectations for our children\’s future. We want our children to be brave, we want them to be self-disciplined, we want them to be responsible and motivated. However, have we ever thought that the best role model for our children is actually around us – that is ourselves. The absorptive mind theory tells us that raising children is not simply about teaching, but about using our actions to influence them. When we think about what kind of person we want our children to be, we might as well ask ourselves whether they have already become that person. Every child has the potential to become a dark horse, as long as we give them the right guidance and enough trust. I hope that every parent can gain enlightenment as soon as possible in the process of raising children, so that our children can become the dark horses galloping in the arena of life and create their own wonderful future.