Only failed women will use their children as a \”tool\” to maintain their marriage.

For conflicts between adults, just resolve them between the adults. Don\’t involve the children. What\’s the point of using children to vent their anger and use them as a shield! Is it really good for the child to make do with it for the sake of the child? I went back to my hometown a few days ago and saw Xiaomi again. She was no longer the same person I knew when I was young. The once gentle, sweet and innocent girl gradually turned into a middle-aged resentful woman after getting married and giving birth to a child, and she personally pushed the child she regarded as a treasure away from her arms. Xiaomi was very happy when she first got married, her husband was very considerate, and the couple lived a good life. But since the birth of his son Lele, who brought his parents-in-law from the countryside to live with him, there has been no peace in the family. There are many conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law because their living habits and concepts of raising children are so different, and no one is willing to give in. Every time there is a dispute, the only thing Xiaomi\’s husband does is to escape and smoke a cigarette. Therefore, Xiaomi blames her husband a lot. After the child went to kindergarten, the parents-in-law returned to their hometown, but the relationship between the couple could not go back. Every day there would be quarrels over who takes the children to interest classes and who picks them up one more time. Every time they quarreled, they clamored for divorce, but Xiaomi\’s parents and parents-in-law had very traditional views and were firmly opposed to divorce. They always advised: \”For the sake of the children, just be patient.\” There is one thing that has always impressed me. One time during the National Day holiday, my husband and I returned to my hometown, and Xiaomi brought Lele to my house to play. My daughter shared her toys with Lele, and the two of them had a lot of fun. When Lele left in the evening, she held her daughter\’s hand and was reluctant to separate. After they left, my daughter asked me: \”Mom, can Lele live in our house forever?\” I thought my daughter was a little bored without playmates of the same age these days, so I told her: \”Lele has her own home. If you He likes to play with Lele. We can invite him to our house tomorrow.\” But what my daughter said next surprised me: \”No, mom, it was Lele who asked me if he could live in our house. He said there was no one in our house. Even if he talks loudly, his parents won\’t throw things. He is afraid to go home. Mom, can we let Leleduo come to our house to play in the past few days?\” I haven\’t heard of their divorce in the past few years. I thought their relationship has eased. However, after listening to the children\’s words, it seems that they did not try to repair the relationship between husband and wife, but just barely maintained the marriage in name only. I don’t know if this is really for the good of the children, or just to conform to secular ideas. \”Only mom is good to you, dad is not.\” The next day I invited Xiaomi\’s family of three to go to the botanical garden with us. When Lele saw us, she was very happy and waved to us from all the way. I only saw mother and son. I asked Xiaomi why Lele’s father didn’t come. Xiaomi instantly looked disgusted and said, \”Who cares whether love comes or not.\” Then he turned around and picked up Lele and said, \”Baby, you see, dad doesn\’t even take you out to play. Dad is not good, isn\’t he? You Who is your favorite person?\” \”Mom.\” Lele turned her head to the other side, avoiding Xiaomi\’s sight, and whispered. \”My dear, you are so good. You must remember that only your mother is good to you. You must listen to your mother and be filial to your mother in the future.\” Xiaomi got a satisfactory answer and kissed Lele happily. But when Lele heard thisHe didn\’t seem very happy about these words. I don’t think any child wants to answer the question “Do you prefer daddy or mommy?” For every child, father and mother are the closest people. It is very hurtful to the child\’s feelings to let the child choose between his parents. No matter how dissatisfied you are with the other partner, you should not involve your children. It is like forming a gang and forcing your children to \”deal with\” another of their close relatives on the same front as you. This is too cruel. \”If it weren\’t for you, I would have divorced a long time ago.\” During lunch, Lele was very happy and had a good appetite. Lele\’s father called Xiaomi and asked when he would come home. Xiaomi replied impatiently: \”I don\’t know.\” I don\’t know what Lele\’s father said on the other end of the phone. Xiaomi suddenly became very irritable and shouted: \” You don\’t care when it\’s your turn to take care of it, and you take care of it more than anyone else when it\’s your turn to take care of it!\”, \”You only get angry at me, but if you can, you get angry with your parents!\”, \”Our mother. You don\’t have to worry about them both dying outside!\”… My daughter hid in my husband\’s arms in fear, and I motioned for him to cover her ears. I was a little angry to make such a noise in front of two children. Xiaomi hung up the phone and Lele wanted to hold her mother\’s hand. Xiaomi suddenly yelled at Lele: \”It\’s all you! If it weren\’t for you, I would have divorced your dad a long time ago! There\’s no need to suffer here!\” Lele immediately took her hand back, shrank her neck, and said with a cry: \”Mom, I\’m sorry.\” I held Lele in my arms and suppressed my anger: \”If you have something to say, why are you venting your anger on the child?\” \”Xiaomi suddenly cried and muttered incoherently: \”I\’m sorry, I\’m sorry, I don\’t want to, I also know that I shouldn\’t scold the child, I just can\’t help it, I can\’t control myself…\” Looking at her look, she was angry and confused. Feeling distressed. I have also witnessed him and his husband from falling in love to getting married. What an enviable couple they were once, how did they become like this? The children should not be blamed for the unsatisfactory or unsatisfactory marriage, and children should not be made to pay for the mistakes of their parents. Many people believe that children are the key to marriage, but in fact the relationship between husband and wife is the most critical. If you and your wife love each other, your children will learn to love and be loved invisibly; if you quarrel every day, how can you be in the mood to educate your children? How can we provide children with a healthy growth environment? We all hope to give our children a complete family, but a complete family is not enough to have three \”roles\” of father, mother, and child. A healthy relationship between each \”role\” is considered complete.