\”Who loves farming, but I know nothing but farming.\” This is a sentence from Wang Qinglai in the hit drama \”Happiness Comes to Ten Thousands of Families\”. He Xingfu, the wife played by Zhao Liying, is full of positive energy, dares to think and do, and is not afraid of doing things. She is simply a textbook for female independence. Wang Qinglai, on the other hand, was not motivated and blamed his wife for running too fast. As a couple, why are there such big differences in life? It is not by chance that everyone reaches where they are today. The influence of their original family is very important. Parents\’ cognition affects children, and children\’s character determines their destiny. As the educator Suhomlinsky said: When parents see their children, they also see themselves. Educating children means educating themselves and testing their own personality. How to turn loving hands into a driving force for children\’s growth? The parenting methods of these three families in the play are worth pondering for parents. The more timid the parents are, the more cowardly the children will be. After watching the whole drama, netizens are most concerned about when Xingfu and Wang Qinglai will divorce. As a husband, he has no responsibility at all and instead lets his wife take care of everything. When I was working as an office clerk at Guantao Company, I forgot to mail the contract in time, causing the company to lose more than 2 million yuan. Wang Qinglai didn\’t apologize, and sneaked back to his hometown to farm, leaving the mess to Happiness. Xingfu asked puzzledly, why was it that he was fine at home but couldn\’t do anything well after going to the city? Qing Lai admitted that he knew nothing but farming, and only farming made him feel at ease. This may be true, but judging from his growth experience, farming is just his escape from interpersonal relationships, and he suffers from psychological learned helplessness. When Qinglai was a child, he was bullied by children from the same village. His parents were timid and took their children to apologize. He always has a weak mentality and caters to everyone. The child\’s character background is only inferiority and weakness. Social observation learning theory once pointed out that young children do not have the ability to reason and logical thinking, and the behavior of their parents is the most direct way for them to learn. In reality, there are too many \”Qinglai\” who are introverted and withdrawn, excessively worried when things happen, and their relationship is full of suspicion. They are both afraid of authority and eager to be protected. Therefore, if a child learns helplessness from his parents, he will not have a sense of security in his heart. I once posted a video that was described by netizens as a textbook form of protection. My daughter encountered school violence and ran away on a bus. Fortunately, she was discovered by the driver. The father came over and heard his daughter\’s cries. He kept comforting her: \”Dad, I told you, if anything happens, just tell me. If the sky falls, I will support you.\” American psychologist Daniel Siegel said that nothing is more important than the relationship between parents and children. Parents cannot help their children for a lifetime, but they can be their backing for a lifetime. In the early years when children do not have the ability to protect themselves, standing up for them is to help them build the courage to walk in the world. No matter how weak the parents are, they still need to safeguard their children\’s interests during their children\’s growth stages. Our courage is the foundation for our children’s destiny. The more unaccompanied their parents are, the more rebellious their children become. The son of the village secretary, Wan Chuanjia, the future successor of Wanjia Group, is a typical playboy. When Qing came to get married, he found that his sister-in-law was pretty, so he gathered a crowd to molest her in the name of a wedding. Behind her father\’s back, she spent money to find a relationship so that her younger sister could take Xiuyu\’s place in college, causing Xiuyu\’s supposedly bright life to be stolen. My father, Wan Shan Tang, was famous throughout his life. Why?Will it be destroyed in the hands of children? His mother died young, and his father, as the leader of Wanjiazhuang, turned a poor mountain village into a model village with an annual output value of 1 billion. It is inevitable for a son to inherit his father\’s legacy. In this case, parents care more about their child\’s abilities than his feelings. There is a scene in the play where the heir apparent expresses his dissatisfaction more than once: the father values those false reputations more important than his son\’s life. It’s not that parents think their children are unimportant, but they have a higher vision and have higher requirements for their children. Therefore, what is right or wrong about the child is more important than the child\’s emotions and needs. This kind of upbringing can easily hurt children\’s emotions. Children cannot get recognition from their parents, but they cannot surpass their parents\’ heights. They can only rely on sideways to gain a sense of existence and gain temporary satisfaction. In the TV series \”Come on Mom\”, Yifu Li is such a child. He lied to the teacher that his mother was on a business trip, hired someone to pretend to be his father, rewarded the anchor, and even burned down the house. These problems seem to be due to him and his younger brother competing for favor, but in fact, it is because their parents are busy with work, neglecting companionship and education, leaving too little time for their children, and hoping that their children will become outstanding. Children with poor academic performance cannot satisfy their parents. In order to gain attention, they can only continue to make mistakes to attract attention. Pay more attention to the child\’s heart instead of correcting the child\’s mistakes. The child will become confident because of being accepted, and become truly strong by being encouraged. The more parents let go, the more independent their children become. Why is He Xingfu from a single-parent family so successful in life? The village had to acquire land to build a sewage treatment plant, but compensation could not be agreed upon. A foreign girl with no power dared to argue with the secretary. She was not afraid of a lawsuit or offending the village leaders. Not everyone has the courage. Even with a junior high school diploma, he refused to admit defeat and was promoted from cleaning to the front desk of a law firm. Not wanting to lose his home, he decided to return to his hometown from the city and crowdfunded 2 million to open a B&B in the village. She has ideas, goals, and execution ability. Guan Tao admires her very much: Whatever Happiness wants to do, she can succeed in the end. A happy character is inseparable from the shaping of the original family environment: her father passed away in her early years, and her mother pulled her and her sister away. As the eldest son of the family, she had to protect the family, and she had to take care of herself if anything happened. The unfortunate experience is also an educational revelation: parents have limited abilities and have to let go, which will also train their children\’s independence. American education expert Dr. Robert proposed the educational goals of modern children, and the first goal is independence. If you want your children to achieve success in the future, they must master the ability to think, choose, judge and solve problems independently. Cultivate children\’s independence from an early age and exchange the bitterness of the present for the sweetness of the future. I once saw a short film. In order to cultivate the independence of his child, a father walked a different route to accompany him to and from school every day, no matter it was windy or rainy. It was not as comfortable and relaxing as riding in a car, and the child also had objections, but his father told him: the road is made by walking. , once, they walked to a section of road that was prohibited for construction, and his father guided him again: What else can be done besides this road. Some classmates laughed at him for not having a car at home, and his child wanted to take a car to school, but his father asked him: Why should he be like others? Everyone is born differently, and you have to decide your own path. We don’t have to imitate our dad’s behavior, but we can learn from his wisdom. If you want your child to be truly independent, it is not enough to teach him the ability to take care of himself. Parents should take the currentWhen difficulties are turned into inspiring questions, children will be fearless about the future. I read a sentence: \”Being a parent is a practice, and educating children depends on the parents\’ life skills.\” Because of this, parents should examine their own behavior more instead of emphasizing their own intentions. Parents need to focus more on their responsibilities and less on their authority. Parents should reflect more on their own education instead of beautifying their own motives. \”Happiness to Ten Thousands of Families\” is the epitome of education for many families and is also an illustration of many children\’s lives. Successful parents should put aside their sense of superiority and pay attention to their children\’s value needs; ordinary parents should avoid inferiority complex and pay attention to their children\’s self-esteem and self-confidence. Parents\’ education is a gift in life to support their children. Care for your children to grow up with wise love. Children\’s emotional intelligence training + explosive learning ability + the power of good habits + thinking ability training series of parenting courses This is an opportunity for children to change their lives, and it is also the most precious treasure in their lives.
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