Oscar for Best Short Film: Child, I love you, but I have to eat you

There is a passage in Long Yingtai\’s \”Watching Off\”: I slowly, slowly understood that the so-called father-daughter, mother-son scene only means that your fate with him is that you will continue to watch him off in this life. The back is getting further and further away. You stand at this end of the path and watch him gradually disappear at the corner of the path. Moreover, his back tells you: there is no need to chase him. The text may be a bit sad. If this day comes, can you let go of the loss caused by \”no need to chase\”? At the Oscars ceremony a few days ago, an animated short film called \”Baobao\” won the crown. The director is a Chinese-American woman born in Sichuan, Shi Zhiyu. This is her first Oscar win and the first Chinese-American female director of Pixar in 32 years. The story takes place in a Chinese family. One morning, the woman got up very early and wrapped the buns skillfully. Not long after the hot buns were served, the man glanced at his watch, quickly stuffed a few into his mouth, and hurried to work. A woman\’s sigh came from the empty room. The woman picked up the last bun in the man\’s bowl and just put it in her mouth. The bun screamed and jumped into the bowl and grew into a human shape. After being surprised, the woman held the little bun in her hands and looked at its cute appearance. Her eyes were full of love, and her previous loneliness was gone. From then on, the woman took Bao Baobao with her wherever she went, taking good care of him and not allowing him to suffer the slightest injustice. Bao Baobao gradually grew up, became taller and stronger, and became full of curiosity about the outside world. When I was playing football with my friends, I was accidentally injured. The woman shoveled the ball away with \”thunder speed\”. When Bao Baobao is not around for a moment, women have to see where he is and what he is doing. He eavesdropped on his phone call through the crack in the door. When Bao Baobao found out, he closed the door heavily. One day, Bao Baobao brought his girlfriend home. The woman was shocked when she saw the diamond ring on the girl\’s hand. After packing her luggage and preparing to go out to live with her girlfriend, the woman panicked. After communicating with her to no avail, she blocked the door tightly and refused to let him pass. The son passed over his mother, and the two of them were fighting at the door. After a long stalemate, the woman shed tears, her heart moved, and she ate Bao Baobao in one bite. After the woman realized that she had done something wrong, she collapsed on the ground. After waking up crying, she found that it was just a dream. Her husband opened the door and her son came back. Mother and son sat on the bed together, clinging to each other, and the knot in their hearts was untied. Shi Zhiyu said in an interview that the inspiration for this short film came from her childhood, when she was once a \”little bun\” held in her hands. In the short film, the scene where the woman eats the baby in one bite is also what her mother once said: I really wish I could put you back in my belly, so that I know where you are at all times! The scene where Bao Baobao was eaten was really scary. Fortunately, it was just a dream, but the parents’ love that crossed the line was even more harmful to the child. In the short film, the mother burst into tears. What she didn\’t expect was that she, who wanted to protect her children from the outside world, ended up becoming a murderer. In this world, the only people who can love you in every possible way are your parents. No one can deny this great love. As the old saying goes, there are only depths of parental love, and there is no right or wrong. But when the love is too urgent and too full, can a child whose lung function has not yet fully developed be able to change it?Angry? Attachment is a special emotion in the interaction between parents and young children. It cannot be missing before the age of 3, otherwise it will affect the development of the child\’s sound personality. At this stage, there are only parents in the child\’s world. This feeling of being needed will make parents more willing to take responsibility and contribute. As children grow up, their exposure to the world becomes wider, their emotions become richer, they have more friends, and there are more parties. Many parents are still addicted to the \”always needed\” relationship before and cannot extricate themselves. At this time, the child\’s curiosity to explore the world is very strong, and the parent-child relationship conflicts. In fact, as parents, we must think clearly about one question: What is the relationship between us and our children? It dawned on me when I was paying New Year greetings to my college counselor and talking about my children. Director Zhang asked me how my daughter was doing, and I talked about my expectations and plans for her. He hoped that I would understand this truth: As the old saying goes, \”Children are the crystallization of parents\’ love\”, \”Children are the pieces of meat that fall off their parents\”, \”No matter how old a child is, they are still children in front of their parents\”. These old sayings seem to say: children are an inheritance or supplement of their parents. From a biological perspective, this is true. But from a sociological perspective, children are independent individuals. They should not be forced to become the sequel to their parents, nor should they become substitutes for their parents\’ unfulfilled childhood dreams. In the end, Director Zhang was worried that I wouldn’t understand, so he used a poem to explain: Good rain knows the season/when spring happens/sneaks into the night with the wind/moistens things silently… A good parent-child relationship is like this \”knowing the season\” \”Good Rain\”, knows how to \”sneak into the night\” and how to \”be silent\”. A child\’s growth at each stage is not constant. Only by understanding the \”season\” can he properly nourish his growth. I remember a parenting expert said that there is a kind of love called letting go, and parents should withdraw appropriately at the eight ages of their children: withdraw from the dining table at the age of 3 – to eat by themselves; withdraw from the bedroom at the age of 5 – to reduce dependence; withdraw from the child\’s bathroom at the age of 6 ——Respect privacy; withdraw from private space at the age of 8 – leave space; withdraw from the kitchen at the age of 13 – learn to cook and be considerate of parents; withdraw from housework at the age of 14 – children become more independent; withdraw from choices at the age of 18 – follow the child\’s heart; after marriage Exit the child\’s family – the child has grown up. We once thought that the relationship between parents and children was two parallel lines. We tried our best to bring them closer, hoping that they would have the same life trajectory as ours. However, this is destined to be an intersecting line that gradually moves away. When we finish caring for our children at the intersection, we must rest assured and let them shine in their own trajectory. I don’t know when the parents’ love for their children turned into excessive tension and worry. Worrying that the children will not have enough to eat and clothing, so they make more than 10 phone calls every day; worrying that the children will fall in love early, so they secretly go through the children\’s schoolbags and peek into their diaries every day; worry that the children will not be able to find a job after graduation and ask someone to find a relationship, regardless of whether it is suitable; worry about the children If you can\’t find a boyfriend, you go to the park to post a marriage notice in person;… When love becomes a shackles, the child will either become a \”mama\’s boy\” or become an eternal \”antagonist\” with his parents. Wu Zhihong told in a program of \”Qi Pa Conference\” that when she was writing a psychological column in Guangzhou Daily, a reader wrote him a long letter: The girl and the boy have been in love for three years and are very loving. She is sure they will be very happy, and the conditions of the boy are also very good. However, the girl’s parents are seriously opposed to it. To the death. After Teacher Wu met with them, he asked the mother why she opposed her daughter\’s marriage. The mother\’s reason is that she thinks her daughter is very good-looking and highly educated, with a bachelor\’s degree, while the boy only has a junior college degree and is not worthy of her daughter. But the man\’s income is three times that of her daughter. Until the end, the mother broke down in tears and told the truth: her daughter used to tell her everything, but this time she had secretly been in love for half a year before she was discovered. She had always been obedient to her before, and she was just her little cotton-padded jacket. After it happened, I felt like the connection with my children was broken. When a mother puts all her emotional focus on her child, it is easy to lose herself. Every move of the child will affect the mother\’s sensitive heart. In the end, what she wins is not the child\’s happiness, but the desire to once again firmly grasp the \”never betrayed\” own” child’s heart. Just like the mother in the story, her daughter broke up with the boy as she wished, but also left the city where her mother was. Some time ago, Papi Jiang caused controversy by ordering her life in the show: herself>partner>children>parents. I didn’t quite understand it before, thinking that people who said such things definitely didn’t have children yet, but now that I think about it carefully, this is the correct answer to life. If a person cannot manage himself well, no matter who you surround yourself with, you will quickly lose yourself. Whether it is love, family affection or parent-child relationship, your sensitivity and desire for control will develop. Children and parents are the ones who accompany us for a while. We must learn to say goodbye to our parents and learn to be independent. We must also give children space to grow and gain experience. If one day, the seed mother\’s daughter goes to another place to study, work, or has long hair reaching her waist and is waiting to get married, I will show a smile instead of tears. Because I believe that the love I give her is enough for her to be confident and self-reliant to face the ups and downs in life. The best love is mutual trust, not pity. Daughter, I also hope that you will not be burdened every time you run away. \”No need to chase\” is the best love we leave to each other.