Outstanding children are all managed. If you don’t care about these three things, it will be too late when the children grow up.

I don’t know since when, many parents began to advocate “happy education” and began to “respect” their children’s nature more and more. The child does not study hard and plays games all day long; but the parents say: \”It\’s okay, as long as the child is happy, let him grow up freely, and don\’t destroy his nature.\” The child doesn\’t want to learn dance halfway through, but the parents say: \”It\’s okay, the child doesn\’t want to learn dance.\” There is no point in forcing her if she likes it. Interest is the biggest motivation for learning. \”There was once a hot topic on Zhihu: \”Do you know how to make your child become an unfortunate person?\” A high praise. The answer is: \”Be obedient to your children.\” The deepest love you think you have for your child is exactly the most deadly weapon you can use to pamper, spoil, and cripple your child. Success is never taken for granted in this world. Whether a person works hard or doesn\’t work hard leads a completely different life. The biggest problem in educating children is to ignore things that should be taken care of and to take care of things that shouldn\’t be taken care of. Parents who are truly far-sighted are usually a bit \”unfeeling\” towards their children. 01 Cruelly urge your children to learn that in this world, there are always hierarchies between people. It is really difficult for ordinary people to achieve class crossing. For the vast majority of children, reading and learning are still the best ways to change their destiny, improve their personal value, and even reverse family poverty. As parents, we are most afraid that our children will not suffer the hardships of study. After entering the society, they will suddenly wake up and regret that they are suffering the hardships of life. In 2008, an Anhui candidate turned in a blank paper during the college entrance examination and received a score of 0, which quickly caused a nationwide sensation. However, 10 years later, this candidate with 0 points walked into the examination room again and admitted that he had made a mistake. In the past 10 years, he has traveled around and done various hard jobs, assembling advertising boxes, making manhole covers, and packaging products. He has suffered all the hardships of life. Every time he changes jobs, he must pay special attention to academic requirements. For this reason, after graduating from high school, he encountered repeated setbacks. It was then that he discovered that the theory that grades were useless was a lie. Therefore, he started studying again and wanted to make up for his past regrets. I don\’t believe that a person who is always lazy and has difficulty persisting in his studies can suddenly transform into a diligent, self-disciplined and accomplished person when he enters society. If you don\’t suffer the hardship of study today, you will suffer the hardship of life tomorrow. Parents with far-sightedness will be ruthless so that their children will not enjoy happiness when they are at an age where they should endure hardship, will not indulge in an age when they should learn, and will not give up when they should work hard. Dear child, please don’t blame your parents for being cruel, because studying is the best way in the world. For ordinary families, reading is still the most effective way to change their destiny. 02 Be ruthless and let your children learn to take care of themselves independently. Parents cannot be a crutch for their children. Every child must stand alone and face the baptism of wind and rain independently. Children who have not learned to take care of themselves since childhood are like flowers in a greenhouse. They are very fragile and cannot bear the slightest disturbance when they grow up. Self-care ability is the most basic life skill a person has. However, this most important skill is ruthlessly deprived by some parents in the name of love. So in life, we often see that some children open their mouths when they have clothes to eat, and they regard other people\’s contributions as reasonable.As you should, you are always self-centered outside and don\’t know how to consider the feelings of others. Doing things for the child not only deprives the child of the opportunity to try his own abilities, but also makes him lose the ability to face and solve problems. To put it bluntly, parents do not regard their child as an independent individual. The British psychoanalyst Winnicott once proposed the concept of \”60-point mother\”, which is very instructive. According to Winnicott\’s theory, children\’s psychological development goes through three stages: absolute dependence, relative dependence, and independence. The absolute dependence stage is 0-6 months; the relative dependence stage is 6-24 months, which may be longer; the transition to independence is after 2 years old. The transition from relative dependence to independence is a continuous process, not an absolute period. Different children show different differences. Judging from the stage characteristics of children\’s growth and development, after the child is 2 years old, he can walk independently, learns to grasp and use his own hands, and his awareness of independence is getting stronger and stronger. After the child turns 2 years old, the mother should gradually reduce her care of the child and become a \”60-point mother\” instead of continuing to be a \”perfect mother\” who does everything for her child. At this time, parents must learn to let go appropriately and leave space for their children to explore. For example, do housework. Housework has long been \”taken over\” by adults, making it difficult for children to experience the fun of housework. In life, children who learn to do housework tend to be more independent and capable of taking care of themselves. 03 Be cruel and let your children learn to be responsible for themselves. You must tell your children that no one can be responsible for your life, and you must learn to be responsible for yourself. In today\’s society, there are too many naughty children, and they often have one common characteristic: lack of awareness of rules. In the eyes of many parents, children\’s nature is higher than rules. Children are naturally active, so they love to run, make noise, and even cause wanton destruction. Without a sense of rules, with the connivance of parents, it will only lead to more and more tragic incidents. For example, a child in Dongguan kicked the movie curtain unscrupulously in a cinema, causing damage to the curtain; in Taicang, Suzhou, a 6-year-old boy rode a scooter alone across the road at a red light at night and was hit by a truck that failed to avoid him. Middle zone: In Fuzhou, Jiangxi, a naughty child hid under the quilt and secretly played with a lighter. Unexpectedly, he ignited the quilt and burned down the whole house. There are so many naughty children in society, and there is often a naughty parent behind them. If you are reluctant to discipline your child, one day, society will punish him severely for you. As parents, we have the obligation and responsibility to let our children understand what they cannot do, what the consequences will be if they do it, and what kind of responsibilities you have to bear. It is much easier for a good child to become bad than for a bad child to become good. If you don\’t discipline your children ruthlessly, you will regret it later when the child causes a big disaster. Dr. Montessori mentioned that the age of 3-6 is a critical period for children to develop habits and establish a sense of rules. Three years old looks older and seven years old looks older. If your child is at this age, you must be ruthless and help your child develop good behavioral habits. Otherwise, if the critical period is missed, it will be difficult to correct later. The older the child is, the more difficult it will be to discipline. Education has never been a matter of course.; There is no ability that depends solely on talent. The achievements of children are the result of their parents\’ hard work and careful cultivation. As a parent, who doesn’t love their children deeply and at the same time work hard to cultivate and support them, just so that the children can be good enough in the future? Only by strictly controlling what should be controlled and letting go of what should not be controlled, with a certain degree of relaxation, can we educate an excellent and sensible child. The road of life is never smooth sailing, and far-sighted parents are often a little unfeeling.