Parental pattern affects children’s outcomes

\”The Education of Carl Witt\” The protagonist of this book, Carl Witt, is a famous genius in Germany. When he was eight or nine years old, he could freely use six languages: German, French, Italian, Latin, English and Greek. , and was proficient in zoology, botany, physics, chemistry, and was especially good at mathematics; Carl Witte was admitted to the University of Leipzig at the age of 9; entered the University of Göttingen at the age of 10; published the book \”Trigonometry\” at the age of 13; He was awarded a doctorate in philosophy at the age of only 14, and is still the holder of the record of \”Youngest Doctor\” in the Guinness Book of World Records; at the age of 16, Carl Witte received a doctorate in law and was appointed to the University of Berlin of law professor. Carl Witt\’s astonishing achievements were not due to his great talent – on the contrary, he was considered a somewhat demented baby after his birth. His astonishing achievements were largely due to his father, a country pastor. without. Carl\’s father wrote a book about his education before he was 14 years old. This is \”The Education of Carl Witt\”. Although this book is old, the correct educational concepts in it are still worth learning today. For example, how to teach children to distinguish between good and evil, how to let children learn the wisdom of getting along with others, how to positively motivate children, how to Establish a correct view of money in children. Tao Xingzhi commented on \”The Education of Carl Witt\”: After this book comes out, children will laugh more and parents will be less troubled. This book is a source of happiness for children and parents. In fact, the process of raising and accompanying our children is also the process of our own learning and growth. When we help our children develop excellent character, are we not cultivating our own character? This is also the reason why I solemnly recommend this book: as children grow, parents also need to grow, and the growth of parents is of even greater significance. Why do you say this? In this era where only-child women still dominate the mainstream, most of us are parents for the first time. No one is born to be a parent. We not only need to learn in practice, but also learn from outstanding people. Study parenting books. Why should we take care of our children by ourselves? Two hundred years ago in Europe, many mothers liked to hire people to educate their children. The book gives an example of a young and energetic couple. Due to their excellent family conditions, they traveled abroad after giving birth to a child, and the child was entrusted to others to feed. Before they left, they told others that now that they have children, they should go outside and play more while they are still young, otherwise they will not have time to play when they grow up and have to educate them. By the time they returned from traveling around the world, the child was closer to the housekeeper than to the young parents. When the couple tried to get their child to sleep with them, despite the warmth and comfort of their bedroom, they were met with vehement rejection. They angrily fired the housekeeper, and the five-year-old child became depressed and even ran away from home as a teenager. This kind of story is very similar to how many parents today give birth to their children and throw them to their grandparents. Some parents may think that leaving their children with their parents or nanny is not a big expense for them.It’s great that your children will grow up with less effort. Who knows, for children, one to six years old is the most critical period for their growth. If parents are absent, irreparable losses will be caused. In addition to being unable to establish a close parent-child relationship, it is also difficult for children to have sufficient security in the world. sense and trust. In addition, although it is hard to raise children by ourselves, we can also enjoy more fun. We will personally witness the magic of life, and understand how babies grow up day by day, and what setbacks they encounter in the process of growing up. What difficulties have we overcome… This process not only allows us to establish a close parent-child relationship, but also makes our hearts fuller and richer. Fortunately, more and more young parents have realized this. No matter how tired or difficult it is, they must take care of their children themselves. This is the consensus reached by old Carl and us 200 years ago. We must shoulder the heavy responsibility of taking care of our children by ourselves. Be a hands-off parent. Telling stories to children in person is the best early education. According to old Karl, although children have potential abilities, this potential ability has a law of diminishment. This view has now been confirmed. Therefore, we must seize the best period of children\’s intellectual development, instill vocabulary into children as early as possible, and develop children\’s creativity, imagination and memory as early as possible. So how should we start early childhood education? The book talks about many methods, the most effective of which is telling stories to children. Storytelling can not only cultivate children\’s affinity for the world, but also promote children\’s memory, inspire their imagination, and enrich their knowledge. At the same time, knowledge can also be imparted through stories. If it is forced indoctrination, children will not be interested in learning at all, and it will be difficult to remember. However, if you use storytelling, you will get twice the result with half the effort. Children will like to listen very much and will be impressed. Some experts say that when telling stories to children, the important thing is not the quantity, but the repetition. A story should be repeated at least 5 to 6 times, and you can even tell the same story every week. The frequency of repetition should be adjusted accordingly according to the age of the child. The younger the child, the higher the repetition rate. Children can predict the next plot, which is a good way for children to establish a sense of security. When our children lie in our arms or sit on our laps, we murmur and start reading or telling stories, and watching our children indulge in the story world we create, as parents, don’t we feel a sense of Unspeakable happiness? Games are the key to opening the door to wisdom. Children naturally like toys and play games. Games bring so many benefits to children. Children explore the world through play. Through constant games and hands-on play, children gradually open the door to wisdom. Parents should learn to encourage their children to play smartly, skillfully and happily, and develop their children\’s \”play quotient\”. According to what Karl Lao said, in addition to inspiring children\’s wisdom, there are many benefits, such as helping children learn more knowledge, and also It enables them to live happily and live in harmony with others. But there are some things we need to pay attention to when playing. First, don’t disturb your children easily. There is often a scene like this: the child is playing with building blocks on the floor, and the mother comes over after a while: \”Come on, it\’s time to drink water\”; the father comes over after a while.Er Lai: \”Are you hungry?\” There are many disadvantages to this. It destroys the child\’s concentration. You know, children are full of curiosity about everything around them, and they often devote themselves to things that may seem boring to adults. At this time, parents should not interfere with their children unless they ask for help. This is the time when attention is highly concentrated, and it is also a good time to improve children\’s concentration. Second, use the correct method to \”break away\” from toys. Children don’t turn around and leave when we say it’s over, like us. So how do you get your children out of the game smoothly? You should give him a period of preparation before the game ends so that he has enough time to end the game happily and encourage him to be willing to cooperate. Third, clean up your own toys yourself. The requirement of \”cleaning up the room and putting away toys\” is too abstract for children, so for children, the tasks must be broken down. For example, you can say: put these building blocks into the blue box, put the car and dinosaur into this cloth bag, put those picture books on the cabinet… one instruction at a time, this will make it easier for the child to accept. The process of organizing the room is also a process of making children\’s thinking orderly. What needs to be added is that the process of playing games with children is also a process of increasing intimacy. I remember when my son was one year old, I often played the game \”Little Bear Climbs the Mountain\” with him. Every time I would run my fingers along his little feet to his chin, he would giggle silly, and I would He made me laugh. That kind of happy moment when mother and son laughed loudly together makes me feel sweet when I think about it now. Appropriate praise is the source of children\’s confidence. American writer Emerson once said: \”Confidence is the first secret of success.\” Only with confidence can you succeed. Therefore, if you want your children to succeed in the future, you must focus on cultivating your children\’s self-confidence. The book tells an example: When Carl first started learning to write, he had no confidence in his ability at all. When he tremblingly handed his first article to old Karl, old Karl found that it was a terrible article. But old Karl said something exciting: \”Very good, this is your first time writing. Dad was far behind you when he first started writing.\” At this time, little Karl\’s eyes flashed with excitement. Soon, when my son gave me his second article, it was a world of difference. Praise has been proven to be one of the most effective ways to boost children\’s self-confidence. Parents should see the advantages in their children\’s shortcomings and often encourage and praise their children. This will greatly increase their children\’s confidence and allow them to realize their strengths and give full play to them. At the same time, pay attention to the method when praising, provide correct guidance, and let the children understand the truth, and they will perform better and better. There must be a correct way to criticize. Improper criticism has a great psychological impact on children. As a parent, when criticizing your children, you must make them convinced. Old Karl gave an example in the book: Little Karl was absent-minded when studying. Instead of scolding him harshly, he first patiently asked him why he deserted. After learning that the child did not understandWhen learning the meaning of poetry and foreign languages, he first used a joke to liven up the atmosphere, and then continued to teach the children. He told the children that learning was not about becoming a translator or diplomat for utilitarian purposes, but that learning poetry was about experiencing the beauty of the world, and learning foreign languages ​​was about understanding the world. Different countries and different cultures. After some explanations, the doubts in the child\’s mind completely dissipated. This episode of life two hundred years ago can basically be used as a model for criticizing children. Of course, there are some taboos when criticizing children. First, calm yourself down before criticizing your child. If we get angry when we criticize a child, the child will definitely not open up, and the effect of the criticism will definitely be very bad. Second, give your children a chance to defend themselves. If you blindly criticize your child and do not give the child a chance to defend himself, he will not say what he wants to say. If parents do not know the reason why their child made a mistake, the criticism will be aimless. Third, the atmosphere of criticism should be serious but not tense. When criticizing, don\’t make the children feel intimidated. Before criticizing the children, Old Carl first talked about the ridiculous mistakes that carpenters and blacksmiths would make if they didn\’t understand knowledge in a lively and interesting tone. After the child calmed down mentally, he continued to explain the truth to the child. Naturally, the child was more receptive at this time. Fourth, when criticizing, you must convince people with reason. Never use the authority of the father to suppress the child, but be moved by emotion and reason, so that the child can sincerely accept criticism without hurting the child. What must be explained here is that praising and criticizing children complement each other. We cannot praise children blindly, nor can we criticize children blindly. Rather, we must see both the child\’s strengths and weaknesses, praise when praise is due, criticize when criticism is due, and combine the two. Cultivate a correct view of money from an early age. Diligence and thrift are the wealth of the poor and the wisdom of the rich. It is not easy to teach a child who is not familiar with the world to be diligent and thrifty, because they have not yet truly experienced the pressure of life and the hardship of labor. There is a story in the book: Old Carl went to a friend\’s house for dinner. During dinner, the chef specially made a dish of fried mushrooms mixed with yogurt for the friend\’s little daughter, but the wayward little girl knocked the plate of mushrooms to the ground and said I don\’t like the taste of mushrooms. Old Carl couldn\’t help but said to the little girl: It would be a pity if a good plate of mushrooms fell to the ground. But the little girl didn\’t think so: there were mushrooms everywhere in the forest, and the worst possible thing was to ask the servants to pick them again tomorrow. Old Carl told her: Picking mushrooms is very hard, and you should respect the fruits of other people\’s labor. She thought picking mushrooms was a fun and not hard work, so Old Carl invited her to pick mushrooms the next week. The little girl thought it was fun for the first day or two, but on the third day she started complaining. On the fourth day, she said she had back pain and refused to go. During this week, she ate all the mushrooms every time. Even if her father occasionally threw away a piece, she would complain dissatisfiedly: Why throw it away? Do you know how hard it is to pick these mushrooms? From then on, the little girl never wasted food. In fact, in the process of helping children establish a concept of money, we must clearly understand thatYour own attitude towards money. We cannot just ask our children to learn to control themselves, we must also control ourselves appropriately, instead of being tempted by everything we see and buying everything we see. As the book says, \”Money has the ability to control people\’s hearts. Treating money appropriately is equivalent to operating your own mind reasonably. Establish a correct view of money for your children as early as possible and guide them from many aspects. In this way, There will definitely be a surprising effect.” Although 200 years have passed since Carter Weill\’s time, we have experienced four major industrial revolutions: steam engines, generators, atomic energy, and information technology. Humanity\’s technological level has undergone earth-shaking changes, and educational concepts have also undergone great changes. There have been many changes, but two things have not changed: our love for our children and their nature. This book about family education and early childhood education deeply inspired me, because as a mother, I love my children equally deeply and want to be the same as the European father 200 years ago. Parents who can create a good environment for their children to grow up. Finally, I would like to end our sharing today with a few words from the children in the book to their parents: 1. My hands are very small. Please do not ask me to be perfect at any time. My legs are very short. Please let me walk slower so that I can keep up with you. 2. My eyes have not seen the world like yours. Please let me slowly observe and discover by myself. And I hope you won\’t impose excessive restrictions on me. 3. There are many household chores, and my childhood is short. Please spend more time telling me some anecdotes about the world, and don’t just treat me as a toy for fun. 4. My feelings are fragile. Please be sensitive to my reactions. Don\’t scold me all day long. Treat me like you treat yourself. 5. Please take good care of me, always train me to be polite to others, guide me in doing things, and teach me what to do for a living. 6. I need your constant encouragement, and don’t criticize or intimidate me harshly. You can criticize me for things I’ve done wrong, but don’t scold me. 7. Please give me some freedom, let me decide some things by myself, and allow me to fail so that I can learn from my failure. One day, I will decide my own life path. 8. Please let me have fun with you. Children need happiness from their parents, just as parents need happiness from their children.