Parents\’ \”criticism\” is deeply hurting their children

A few days ago, I met a mother and daughter in the toy section of the mall. The little girl pointed at a set of Balala Little Fairies and said, \”Mom, I want to buy this.\” \”We made a promise before going out today not to buy any toys. Yeah!\” Upon hearing this, the child immediately stamped his little feet and said, \”No, I want it.\” The mother also raised her voice: \”We already have a lot at home, we can\’t buy any more.\” When the child saw that his mother was leaving, He quickly grabbed his mother and looked at her eagerly. Seeing that her mother had no intention of giving in, she simply sat down on the ground and started crying. \”Why are you so disobedient? If you say you won\’t buy it, you won\’t buy it. Get up quickly!\” Mom said sternly. When the girl saw this, she lay down on the ground and cried even louder. \”I want it, I want it.\” Facing her crying daughter, the mother couldn\’t pull her or hug her. She was beaten and kicked by her daughter. In the end, the mother had no choice but to compromise: \”Okay, okay, don\’t cry, just buy it this time, never again!\” When the little girl heard what her mother said, she immediately broke down in tears and laughed, and got up from the ground. This scene is so familiar. Many children use the same tactics to deal with their parents as this little girl. In front of their children, most mothers are very cruel. Although they say cruel words, they tell themselves over and over in their hearts that they cannot be soft-hearted this time and must stick to their principles. But as long as the child cries, makes a fuss, and hangs himself, and the cute baby can\’t help but burst into tears, we instantly become a toothless \”paper tiger,\” and all our principles and persistence become a cloud. Just like what Eason Chan sings in his song: Those who are favored are always confident. Little do they know how dangerous this kind of \”cutting off the tongue\” is to children. Sometimes when faced with a child\’s unreasonable crying, success is also love, and failure is also love. There is an 8-year-old boy named Li Mo Rui in \”Super Parent\” that I still remember vividly. Li Merui is a very emotional child. He is manic, angry and unreasonable. Especially his treatment of my mother is not only arrogant, but also violent. Once, the caregiver Lan Hai saw a bruise on Li Merui\’s mother\’s arm. After asking carefully, she found out that it was actually bitten by her son when he lost his temper. In fact, the reason why Li Merui developed like this is inseparable from his mother\’s \”sharp mouth, tofu heart\” style of upbringing. In order to urge her son to study, the mother will seriously set the time for playing games. But as soon as the rules are set, it won’t be long before mother and son start a tug-of-war like this: Mom: Play for five more minutes! Son: Twenty-five minutes. Mom: Twenty-five minutes is too much, ten minutes is almost enough! Son: No, twenty-five minutes! Mom: No, no! The son simply ignored his mother and concentrated on playing games. This kind of \”bargaining\” often takes place between mother and son, and it lasts for a long time, which makes people stunned. Li Merui treated his mother like an emperor. On the contrary, her mother was as humble as a \”maid\”, as if she was begging for her son. Mothers always break the rules as soon as they are proposed by their children. I believe that when every mother sees this, her heart will tremble. It turns out that mothers all over the world are \”tough-tongued\” and \”cruel-tongued\” towards their children. Many times, we yell at our childrenWith: You can\’t/can\’t… If you keep doing this, I won\’t buy a single toy in the future! If you say no, you can\’t, and mom means it… Even though we appear to be strict on the surface, sometimes we are just \”bluffing\” and saying harsh words to scare our children. As long as the child cries, makes a fuss, or acts up, we ourselves first melt into a piece of candy. In this psychological war between parents and children, it is often the children who have the upper hand. In the \”bottom-finding\” game again and again, they discovered that parents were not as adhering to principles as they imagined. As a result, they learned roundabout tactics and fought \”to the death\” with their parents. Psychologists believe that the most important time to develop a child\’s character is during childhood, when parents\’ words and deeds have a profound impact on the child. If parents have no principles when educating their children, or if they set rules but easily compromise and \”stumble\”, they can easily mislead their children. Either you raise a \”domestic\” child who becomes lawless at home but very timid when going out; or the child becomes arrogant and arrogant, thinking that he is the \”master\” wherever he goes, and others must give in to him wherever he goes. Own. Both of these will lead to social barriers to a certain extent and are extremely detrimental to the child\’s future development. We love our children unconditionally, but when faced with unreasonable demands, we need to always adhere to our principles and bottom line, be gentle but firm. Don\’t take your children too seriously. One characteristic of spoiled children is that their demands are always met. Many parents are troubled by the fact that their children will always cry to threaten their parents, and sometimes even refuse to eat to force their parents to submit. At this point, the education of hot mom Ying Caier is worthy of our reference and study. \”I am a strict mother, so I will set some rules. For example, when my son cries unreasonably, I will wait until he stops before hugging him.\” Talking about her parenting experience, Ying Cai\’er also said: \”The child cannot want to Whatever, just tell me to go and get it. Whatever you want, just get it yourself.\” She said that the reason why she was so strict with Jasper was to let him know that everyone has to go through something, and not everyone in this world revolves around you. of. She loves her children but does not spoil them. It is through this kind of upbringing that we see the sunny and cheerful Jasper on the screen. Nothing is too much, and the same goes for loving children. Pampering without restraint is pampering. Only when you love your children with restraint can you teach them how to love and follow rules. The home of former U.S. President Obama is filled with love and rules. Obama allowed his daughters to meet their musical idols, the Jonas Brothers, but not to appear on Disney\’s iconic drama \”Hannah Montana.\” They can have iPads, cameras, and computers, but they cannot bring mobile phones to school in violation of school regulations. Even in the White House, they have to make their own beds and set their own alarm clocks. Develop the habit of self-reliance. The Obamas believe that doing so will prevent their children from taking everything for granted when they grow up. Obama believes that setting clear and consistent rules can cultivate children\’s sense of responsibility and the ability to distinguish right from wrong. Stick to the bottom line and never compromise. Guanzi said: If you ask, you will get it; if you are forbidden, you will stop it; if you are ordered, you will do it. The same goes for educating children. Only when parents do not compromise can children learn to abide by the rules. ComprehensiveIn the third season of the TV show \”Mom is Superman\”, the way Deng Sha taught Dalinzi to apologize is worth learning. In the fifth issue, Bao Wenjing takes her daughter Dumpling to visit Deng Sha’s house. After the meal, the two families planned to go out to play together. When the two children were changing clothes, Dalinzi accidentally stepped on Dumpling\’s hair. Deng Sha immediately asked Dalinzi to apologize, but her son was not very willing. Deng Sha insisted and said to him: \”You said I\’m sorry, you said I didn\’t mean it.\” \”If you don\’t tell me, don\’t go out with me today.\” !\” Seeing that her son had been refusing to say \”I\’m sorry,\” Deng Sha calmed down, took him outside, and began to guide him patiently and firmly. Finally, Dalinzi finally said the words \”I\’m sorry.\” When you do something wrong, you have to say \”I\’m sorry.\” Deng Sha taught her children the truth that \”the bottom line cannot be broken\” through her actions. The famous German philosopher Jaspers said: Real education is to use one tree to shake another tree, use one cloud to push another cloud, and use one soul to awaken another soul. We should educate our children like sowing seeds. In spring, plant a handful of seeds. If you want to harvest the entire forest, you must comply with the changes in natural solar terms and never mess with the seasons. I love you, but I won\’t condone you. Only in this way can a new green be achieved.