Parents, don’t pretend to be a person. The more you pretend, the more tired you become. Truth is the most important thing.

Yesterday, a friend who majored in psychology was chatting with me. She said that she particularly admired my courage to often share her children’s problems. She said she didn\’t dare. She was a psychological counselor and often consulted others, but her children were not well educated and she felt particularly embarrassed. Her child has a lot of problems in junior high school, and acceptance doesn\’t work. Her son often criticizes her, and you consult for others. You can\’t even raise your own son well, which makes her even more frustrated and powerless. I later asked her, is it necessary for teachers’ children to study? I have seen many teachers whose children just cannot study and are difficult to discipline. Otherwise, the management is too strict and something goes wrong with the child. Don’t doctors’ children get sick? Doctors can’t control their children from getting sick. At most, they may be more particular about hygiene than ordinary families. Whether a child gets sick or not depends on the child’s own immunity, not on whether the parents are medical experts. . 02 I said, the reason why you are tired is to pretend to be a person and not dare to break the persona. I am studying psychology and I am a family education lecturer. This is just a profession, rather than using a profession to constrain real people. As long as you are a human being, you will have emotions and desires, and you must have blind spots. When facing children, it is not just some theoretical principles, but you must explain things clearly to others and be patient when accompanying others. The relationship between you and your child is a mother-daughter relationship, a father-daughter relationship. You must have expectations. There are no expectations at all. There is absolute freedom and unconditional acceptance. The child can do anything. I think this is a god and not a human being. To give a very simple example, if another child scores 60 points in the test, and you are not anxious, anxious, have no expectations, and have no desire to help, then of course it is easy to listen patiently and accompany you. Your child scored 60 points in the test, and most of the children in the class scored over 90 points. If your child was in this system, would you be anxious or helpful? Even if you are not anxious, you must have a desire to help, and you must hope that your children can catch up quickly. But despite trying hard, the child still falls short of expectations. Don’t compete, but still love the child, accept the child, and accompany the child well. This is to combine professionalism with real life. Pretending to be a person means that you are anxious and in pain, you are powerless in the face of conflicts with your children, and your heart is painful. You must also show that you are positive, sunny and optimistic, and you must also show that you can accept your children. Psychology is a tool to explore yourself, rather than letting psychology constrain your life and be trapped in this trap. Whether you are a psychological counselor or a family education teacher, you are a human being first and a profession second. Allow yourself to lose your temper, allow yourself to be anxious, allow yourself to be powerless, and allow yourself to be helpless. Children are allowed to have various questions. There is no need to tie up your own life with your child\’s life. Don\’t use a successful child to prove your own success. You are you, and children are children. It is difficult for most children to develop according to their parents\’ expectations. The sooner you recognize this fact, the sooner you will be liberated. 03 For children who are the same age as my eldest daughter, it can be said that many parents and I have practiced love and liberal education. Now the children are in junior high school. After more than 10 years of educational practice, I can truly share that there is no perfect education, only day-by-day companionship. The feedback from these two mothers online is also very representative. Feedback from a mother who is trying to grow up. One gaveMoms with loving and free kids, feedback. I have observed many children over the years. Among children under strict education, some children have good habits, are self-disciplined, healthy and sunny, while some children have been depressed since elementary school. Among children of love and freedom, some children shine brightly, while some children have not developed vitality. Some children are also lying flat with no goals and no motivation. They have to drop out of school as soon as they enter junior high school. Parents, don\’t pretend to be a person, and don\’t hold on to it. Sometimes I break down and cry. Because I am depressed and have no intention of myself or my family, I just cry. After crying, it is a kind of release. I can do whatever I need to do. Sometimes, I also feel that raising children is a torment, and I feel powerless. I wonder when my children can go to college and survive. When I face my true feelings again and again, I can feel a sense of strength. The process of raising children is a process of practice. Some methods have good concepts. If you practice with your children and this method is ineffective, then deny it, start over, and find a suitable method and relationship model. Raising children is like treating a doctor with traditional Chinese medicine. For the same symptoms, the same medicine cannot be used. It depends on the internal constitution and one person\’s prescription. Raising children also involves teaching students in accordance with their aptitude. Being real parents, facing the real selves and real children, this is the most powerful parenting.