Parents’ experiences in educating their children

\”If you plan to grow a plant, the first thing you need to know is: What kind of flower is it? What kind of fertilizer is needed? How much sunlight and how much water is needed? Plants have different natures. Some like to be exposed to the sun, while others do not. They need to be protected from the scorching sun; some need a lot of water, and some will wither if watered too much. In the same way, when we raise a child, we must also discover through learning: What kind of child does he belong to? In what areas does he have more talents? ? In what areas are they prone to making mistakes? Where they are talented, we should encourage them more and give them opportunities to fully develop in this area. In areas where they are prone to problems, we should guide them early to avoid problems. The advantage of this is that, The process of raising is more effective with half the effort. More importantly, the child is happier. He has more opportunities to do things well in the areas he is good at and gain more sense of accomplishment. And if you look in the wrong direction (such as when we use If you use the wrong method of raising plants), the child can grow up, but he may not grow so well because he cannot show the best part of himself.\” – Excerpted from Lin Wencai\’s \”Psychological Nutrition\” Children who interrupt randomly in class disappeared because their parents and teachers understood their natural temperament and \”taught them in accordance with their aptitude\” according to their natural temperament. In just two weeks, the phenomenon of interrupting in class disappeared. This child who loves to interrupt, every teacher\’s evaluation of him is: he talks too much. I also thoroughly experienced his power in one class. During a 40-minute class, he was the only one who kept interrupting to answer questions. Completely ignoring my classroom rule: to speak, you must raise your hand. But at the same time, I also found that except for one or two times when I talked about funny and interesting topics, the other times I interrupted were just following the teaching. Fortunately, other students in this class would not echo him, but it also made his interruption stand out. After paying attention to this situation of the child. Before the class was over, I took advantage of a certain topic to directly affirm it to him: Have you noticed that in today\’s class, I found that Xiaozhen\’s thinking was very active and his answers were very accurate. I appreciate this very much. If you can do it I would prefer to raise your hand first before answering. Aware of this, I contacted the parents promptly afterwards. Not only did I give feedback to the parents about the shining points I saw in the children at school, but I also hoped that they could cooperate with me and help this child, and the parents fully agreed. But at the beginning, I couldn\’t find the direction. After a period of time, I asked my parents to read the book \”Psychological Nutrition\” with me, and participated in book reading activities with professional psychological counselors. When my mother and I finished studying the chapter on natural temperament, my mother reported to me that the child is optimistic. After clarifying the child\’s natural temperament, I have found a theoretical basis for how to get along with the child. \”Optimistic children care most about relationships and like to talk, but they are impulsive and impetuous. They can\’t stand that you can\’t see or pay attention to them. Therefore, they especially want to speak loudly and joke in a crowd, just to be… Others pay attention to him and give him positive feedback: affirmation, praise, recognition. Parents of optimistic children must establish a good parent-child relationship with their children. Because what he cares about most is caringIf the relationship is not good, parents should not teach him. For those who want to strengthen the guidance of children, they must not be critical. On the basis of a good parent-child relationship, pay positive attention to him and guide him. \”One day I just entered the classroom and before I put my things away, Xiao Zhen walked straight up to me and asked me: Can I still borrow books in class today? I answered him: Yes. He said: I brought a book today I wanted to lend this book to my classmate. I was sorting out the class supplies and answered him: OK. Just watch him walk back to his seat, and I started class. How parents should educate their children: Children\’s Education, a complete set of 10 volumes mobi+epub +azw3 About ten minutes later, I saw Xiaozhen raising his hand, and I intuitively thought he had a question to ask. But what I didn’t expect was that after I invited him up, he asked: When can I borrow books? Only then did I notice that the book he wanted to lend to his classmates was placed on the table. It seemed that during the class, while he was listening to the class, he was thinking about borrowing the book. I quickly told him : Today’s book borrowing activity can only be carried out in the next 5 minutes. Because the teacher’s class needs to be finished first, I will be the first to ask you later. During the next class time, I found that he was much more stable, and The book on the table was also put in the drawer. During that class, I also paid special attention to the wall clock on the wall. Five minutes before class ended, I was the first to ask him to bring a book to lend to everyone. . At that time, he also made a move that touched me very much. Because I once lent him a book, and he returned it to me this time. When other children lent it to me, I asked him to help me find it. A child who is suitable for reading this book. He actually found a child with whom he did not have a good relationship on a daily basis and who often had disagreements with him. His donation opened the door for me to solve the friendship problem of another child. A gap. It is said that helping others helps oneself, and I was moved by the kindness and innocence of the child. The very next day, my mother also did something to accept him, and the relationship between mother and child suddenly improved greatly. . # Psychological Nutrition # Acceptance and permission. Son: Mom, I’m back from school. Mom: Oh, my son is back! Mom is cooking the last dish! Go wash your hands and get ready for dinner. Son: Mom, I’m going out to change the switch panel. Mom: Oh, okay, then you go out and change and come back for dinner right away! (Son) ran out at this moment, changed quickly and came back. Mom: My son can eat now! Son: Mom, I installed the switch Come and eat soon! Mom: Oh, hurry up then! I\’ll help you prepare the rice and soup first. Son: Okay, I\’ll be ready soon. Mom: Okay, then Mom is waiting for you! Enter and wait中…12:40 Good news came from my son\’s room. Son: I pretended, and finally succeeded (Mom) I walked into my son\’s room and said to him: Congratulations on your success, hard work pays off! Son! : Mom, let me try it again to show you. Mom: Okay! Son, Mom never thought that panel switches can be installed! Mom always thought that panel switches should be buried in the wall when decorating a house. You really I have an idea. Now we can go to eat! Son: Okay, let’s go to eat! (Mom’s reflections: I’m the one who takes care of you in the meantime.Accommodate his various needs that do not comply with the regulations and allow him to do what he likes! The result is that everyone is happy! If you object, you will make a lot of noise, close the room and not eat, and everyone will be miserable and unhappy. ) is such a question of whether to eat first or modify electrical appliances first. There used to be all kinds of quarrels in the family, and the children even threatened to say why are you angry with me. Once a quarrel breaks out, the child will use all kinds of swear words and doesn\’t care who the person he is quarreling with is in front of him. How to educate children to develop good qualities? Watch these 6 Oscar-winning animated short films and be a mother – the \”important other\” recognized by the child, understand the child\’s natural temperament, and treat the child with a method suitable for this natural temperament. When you look at this child, it is simply All right, he is a small electrical appliance repairman. A 10-year-old child is very good at playing with various circuits. If someone\’s electrical appliance in the community breaks down, it is still outside. If his family does not allow him to move it home, he will remove the parts he thinks he needs and go home to repair it. Various assemblies. I saw his workbench when I visited his home. It was small and large-scale. From the moment she understood this, the mother adjusted her parenting style, and the teachers felt accordingly that the child\’s classroom performance was significantly improved. The little elf who used to chatter endlessly and fidget in class has transformed into a little angel who is happy to listen to the class. Education that cannot understand children\’s behavior is undoubtedly like a blind man trying to figure out the elephant. No child\’s misbehavior is intentional. The cause is often the family\’s parenting mistakes, followed by teachers\’ inability to understand the needs behind the behavior. Once adults can solve their own knowledge gaps and follow the characteristics of children\’s innate temperament to raise and educate them, this process will only leave happiness and joy.