Parents have a poor mindset and cannot raise promising children

A reader left a message asking us: \”I spend all my energy on my children, washing and cooking, picking up and dropping off from school. I often communicate with teachers and respond to requests. Come and rain, why are my children still not doing well? Talk to me The relationship is getting worse?\” I remembered a speech given by the writer Autumn QT about her mother. QT is a typical child of a dual-income family. Her parents did not return to the city until they were in their 30s and entered college, so they had no time to take care of her. Her mother taught her early on how to strike matches, light gas, use a steamer to heat food, boil water and other chores. To participate in extracurricular activities, she took the bus to the Children\’s Palace, the Children\’s Science Station, and the Children\’s Newspaper Office by herself, and her mother never asked her what she had studied. Mathematical Thinking Training Elementary School Interesting Math Questions Series Animation [Enlightenment + Advanced + Advanced] \”One time my mother came to pick me up from school after work at noon. When I ran to the classroom and asked, my classmates said she was upstairs. In the evening, my mother asked me, you Why are you upstairs today? I replied, you went to the first year of high school today, and I am already the second year of high school. My mother suddenly realized, oh, you are already the second year of high school.\” The reader asked her: \”Did you have a difficult time when you were a child?\” She He nodded and said yes. But she said: \”I am very lucky that my parents are both working parents. They taught me a lot.\” Once, my mother came back from buying fish from the market and suddenly exclaimed: \”Oh, the fish seller charged me 5 cents less.\” .\” When she was 6 years old at the time, her deepest impression was, wow, my mother remembers every penny in her wallet. This made her very sensitive to financial data since she was a child. When she grew up, she was extremely clear about cash flow. Once during an interview with McKinsey, the interviewer was surprised by the several sets of data she casually mentioned. She said that these were all based on the good habits she had cultivated since childhood. This is the impact a mother has on her child\’s growth at a certain moment, how huge it is. When I was in elementary school, my mother would get up at 5 a.m. every day, buy groceries, cook, and then take a two-hour one-way bus to cook. I rarely watch TV and always read, write, wash and mend under the lamp. QT said: \”I rarely saw my mother lying on the sofa like a potato when she was young.\” This habit of her mother has always affected her. QT has never seen Ge You lie on the sofa until now. She is disgusted with this seemingly lazy posture. My mother saved money and bought big items, such as a 300-yuan sofa, a 900-yuan refrigerator, and a 3,000-yuan TV. Each purchase was a festival and consumption upgrade for the entire family, and the whole family cheered. \”I followed them and felt the sense of accomplishment from graduation, grade examination, promotion, salary increase, buying a house and car, and consumption upgrades. I feel that life is full of hope, because they let me see the hope of life.\” These childhood memories are very important to me. QT\’s influence is very great: \”I know that a good life can be pursued, and I know that what I want can be obtained through hard work.\” She studied and took postgraduate entrance examinations, and went from rural China to the top universities in the United States; she studied English and went from being extremely bad to The English level is good enough to survive in foreign companies and become a top employee of McKinsey. The most important thing is: \”They gave me a sense of material and spiritual security and direction. Life should be worked hard, life is worth working for, life can be controlled, and life is endless fun.of. \”This is the wealth that a stay-at-home mother gives to her daughter. Back to the reader\’s question, why do you give everything, but the children not only don\’t appreciate it, but the results are extremely poor? I think of the word \”poor mother thinking\”. What is poor mother thinking? ?Poor mothers have poor thinking because they always think their children are poor. Because they think their children are poor, they keep giving, forcefully giving, interfering, and doting, regardless of whether the children want it or not. Your self-righteous love is excessive in the eyes of your children. Control. The old lady doesn’t want to cross the road, but you have to carry them on her back and keep saying that you respect the old and love the young. There is no reason for the old lady to scold you. The child doesn’t need your giving, but you have to force it on because it’s his mother. If you forcefully instill it in the name of maternal love, the child will have to accept it, but he will not thank you. In the thinking of poor mothers, mothers always think that their children are weak, do not understand anything, and have nothing. Thinking like this, The problem is not the child, but the mother. Are children really always weak? Do children really know nothing? Wrong, children are actually very rich, they are very powerful, they know many things, they have unlimited potential, unlimited Plasticity. It’s just that under your suppression, their potential is invisible. Your children are not poor, they are rich, and they have great potential, like a treasure mine waiting to be mined. Don’t use the love in your own eyes to frame your children into settings In a good cage, a truly good mother, like QT\’s mother, never forces love, but walks in front, letting the child see the back of his own efforts and stimulating his own potential. What you want to give to your child , give it to yourself first, and the child will naturally see it. What can a professional mother give to her child? There was a little boy whose mother was a doctor, and there were many patients in the hospital. The mother was very, very busy at work and had no time to take care of him, so she had to He was brought to the hospital every day and asked to patrol the ward with his mother. The little boy worked with his mother every day and found that his mother had to wear a slim formal suit, a professional tie, and a white coat outside of work every day. The little boy asked his mother: \”Mom, why do you wear a tie every day? When the other uncles and aunts inspected the ward, they didn\’t see them wearing ties? \”My mother told him: \”This way you can show respect for the patient, this way you can show your professional sense of this job, and the patient will feel at ease. \”One summer, there was a sudden power outage in the hospital. My mother went to inspect various wards, and the little boy followed. There was no air conditioning, and the weather was very hot. My mother was wearing a tie and a mask, and she went to different wards. Big beads of sweat fell from her forehead. Sliding down, the little boy saw that his mother\’s back was already wet. But his mother did not slack off at all, and was as strict, serious and responsible as ever. His mother said to him: \”This is respect for the patient and a sense of professionalism.\” \”Twenty years later, the little boy graduated from college and entered a financial company. He always remembered that summer during the power outage. His mother\’s back was wet with sweat, but she was fully dressed and patrolling the ward. So, he set many rules for himself: for example, always tailoring Formal attire, no matter what the circumstances, you must wear formal attire when meeting clients; for example, you must not be late; for example, you must reply to the email of the day before the early morning; for example,Received emails must be replied within 2 hours. Later, this little boy became Jesse Livermore, the world\’s top financial investor. The reporter asked him: \”What is the most important thing in the education you received as a child?\” He replied: \”The sense of professionalism that your mother taught him by example is the most important.\” This mother, with a summer\’s demonstration, assembled the child\’s future The engine of life, and the creed of work. No matter what job you do, a mother who is full of professionalism will definitely give her children the most unshakable value: you must be full of professionalism in order to win the respect of others. What does a rich wife who insists on working full-time leave to her children? In a 2015 episode of Tian Tian Shang Shang, the guest on the show was Jay Chou\’s wife Kun Ling. Wang Han asked Kun Ling: \”Chou is so rich, why didn\’t you stay at home as a full-time mother after giving birth? Instead, you continued to work?\” Many people must have this question. Jay Chou is the king of Chinese pop music, but with such a powerful husband, Quinlivan couldn\’t wait to come back and go to work just one month after giving birth. Is it necessary to be so anxious? You are not short of money either. Faced with Wang Han\’s question, Kunling said without hesitation: \”I want the child to see in the future that his parents are very hard-working and positive people. I hope the child will be diligent and self-reliant when he grows up.\” The 22-year-old The hot mom not only made a comeback one month after giving birth, but also shot commercials and movies non-stop, traveling to Japan and Europe for filming. At the same time, she went home to see her children whenever she had time, trying her best to find a balance between career and family. It is said that Jay Chou proposed to let Kunling take care of the children at home and be a full-time mother, but Kunling rejected it. I think what she was thinking was that she didn’t want her children to grow up thinking that their father was so good and worked so hard; but her mother became a stay-at-home mother at the age of 22; she didn’t want her children to introduce their parents to their friends in the future. Say, this is my dad, he was once a top singer in the Chinese music scene; this is my mom, well, she is just my mom. Kunling will definitely be an excellent mother: \”My child, I don\’t want to push you to fight. I want you to see the back of an excellent mother working hard.\” Children who grow up in such a back view will definitely not Difference. In fact, I have no doubt about the diligence of Chinese women. The labor force participation rate of Chinese women ranks first in the world, and the labor productivity of Chinese women is countless times higher than that of Indian women. There is no shortage of hardworking mothers in China, but there is a shortage of mothers who know how to show their children how hard they work. When most working mothers are working, they either leave their children to a nanny, leave their children to the older generation, or leave their children in the office playing with their mobile phones, as if their children have nothing to do with their work. What I want to say in writing this article is that if you want to be a good mother, please let your children see your efforts, slacks, successes, and failures. Don\’t separate him from your life and then forcefully give him so-called maternal love. Truly great maternal love: Let your children become as good as you. You can let your children participate in your work: if you are happy when you get a promotion, remember to celebrate with your children; if you are sad when you leave your job, you can also talk to your children appropriately. Let your children experience yourGrowth and change, in this growth and change, he can feel many things. Don’t hide so-called negative energy in front of your children: It’s normal to encounter unhappy things, and it’s normal to shed tears. When you can control your emotions, appropriately convey negative emotions to your children. He will understand that life has its ups and downs. Dare to admit your failures: Show not only your successes but also your failures. He will understand that winning and losing are normal. Don’t hide your desire for money: convey your own view of money correctly. While QT is starting a business, she is also the mother of a 4-year-old child. She often brings her children to work with her. She believes that her busy figure is more effective than telling her children \”You have to study hard\” a hundred times. A reader asked QT: \”Do you feel guilty?\” QT said: \”Actually, sometimes you do. However, under the light late at night, my husband and I reached a consensus: we work hard, we are optimistic, we love each other, and our children may not It will be too bad.\” Yes, if you work hard, you are optimistic, you show your child a positive and upbeat figure, and you give your child a loving family, your child will not only not be bad, but will definitely be better.