Parents\’ ignorance will ruin their children\’s lives

It should be the truth that the same kind of children are the same kind of parents. High-quality, high-level, and thoughtful parents will open up a bright road for their children, while parents with poor knowledge and short-term knowledge will limit their children\’s lives, and some short-term knowledge may even destroy their children\’s lives. 1. Lack of knowledge in education and psychology will destroy a child’s sound personality. A few days ago, a piece of news became a hot search topic. A 14-year-old boy in Chongqing jumped off the 12th floor when his mother lifted the quilt off him while he was sleeping in. School was about to start, and her mother asked her 14-year-old son Xiaoyong to get up in order to help her son resume his normal biological clock, but the child did not respond. When the mother saw that he didn\’t move, she partially lifted his quilt and called him. As a result, Xiaoyong looked unhappy when he got up, and his mood was very abnormal, and then he jumped from the 12th floor! Fortunately, no tragedy occurred. It can also give parents a chance to reflect. But if the parents are not aware of the psychological problems behind the child\’s first jump, then the child will jump a second time and a third time. The mother asked the child to get up, but if he couldn\’t do it, he went into the room and lifted the quilt and called again. This kind of behavior should be familiar to mothers and seems normal. \”What\’s the matter? Is this child making too much fuss?\” This should be the reaction of most mothers. Although the child is 14 years old, in the eyes of the mothers, he is still a child. This may seem like a fuss made by the child, but in fact it is because the mother does not understand the child\’s heart or psychology. If the mother enters the child\’s room without the child\’s consent, this is a violation of the child\’s right to privacy. The child is 14 years old. Of course, he has already developed a sense of privacy. His own private domain and his own body cannot be disturbed by others at will, even his mother. Furthermore, judging from the mother\’s actions of entering the child\’s room so casually and casually lifting the child\’s quilt, it is probably not the first time that the mother has done this. It is impossible for a child to protest his dissatisfaction with his life just by lifting the quilt at random. It can be seen from this that this mother has absolute control over her children in life. It is conceivable that the child\’s food, clothing, entertainment, study, friends, etc. are all subject to the intervention of the mother. The child wants to grow up but cannot, and wants to be independent but cannot break away from the mother\’s \”rope of love\”. He had suppressed it for too long, and his accumulated dissatisfaction was at a boiling point. The behavior of mothers who do not respond when called out of bed is already revealing their dissatisfaction with their mother\’s control. The mother\’s lifting of the quilt has completely overturned the child\’s last line of defense for patience, so it is not surprising that he would jump off a building to vent his anger. The news said that the child was shaking all over after being rescued. While waiting for rescue, he also actively cooperated. It can be seen that he does not really want to die, he is just thinking about what kind of thing to express his dissatisfaction to attract his mother\’s attention. But no one expected that this 14-year-old boy would take such a tragic method as suicide to protest against his mother\’s intrusion. Wu Zhihong believes that injury or even self-destruction is also a common way to resist the intrusion of the controller\’s will. If the mind is occupied by the will of others, the body will develop various ways to express its own will covertly. If this mother didn\’t know how to wake up and didn\’t know that her child\’s jumping off the building was caused by herself, you can imagine what the child\’s future will be like. If he can grow up safely, he will also become aA person with a bad temper, low self-confidence, and a weak character. In the process of raising children, parents do not have some knowledge of psychology, education, and the rules of parenting. Even if the children grow up physically, they will not be able to grow into a healthy person both physically and mentally. I found that the students around me were already eighteen-year-old adults, but many of them were emotionally unstable. They are sensitive, fragile, easily irritable, prone to losing their temper, and have weak ability to cope with and deal with problems in study and life. I once received a case from a senior high school girl. The girl has reported to her class teacher and female psychological counselor many times that she always feels that her classmates and roommates are whispering about her feet. She seemed to always hear them talking about her \”stinky feet\”, but in fact, no one noticed whether her feet smelled or not, let alone talked about her foot odor problem. The head teacher and the female psychological counselor took this matter very seriously, provided her with timely explanations, and also informed her of the situation reported by her classmates. She seemed to be calm for a while, but not long after, the head teacher received another message from her, saying that so-and-so was talking about her \”stinky feet problem\” again. We all feel that this girl is not mentally healthy. Because her class teacher discovered a pattern, she would start to have insomnia and become restless whenever there was a major exam such as the monthly exam. Then she would hear her classmates discussing her foot odor. We reported this situation to a professional psychologist, who suggested going to a psychological clinic. So the head teacher reported the girl\’s situation to her parents, but the parents didn\’t take it seriously and forwarded the chat records between the teacher and her parents to the girl. After the girl found out, she questioned the teacher, seemingly not believing the teacher. We feel speechless. This parent has no knowledge of parenting psychology at all. The teacher, head teacher, and psychology teacher attached great importance to this situation and analyzed with them that if this situation is not rectified, big problems will arise. However, this parent turned a deaf ear to our words and did not care. The reason for not caring is not that I don\’t love my children, but my short knowledge of psychology and my failure to realize the seriousness of this problem. This is the way to destroy your daughter. Later, I received text messages from this girl intermittently. It seemed that the situation was more serious because she could no longer concentrate on her studies. We negotiated with parents many times and asked them to come to the school for interviews. Parents are just perfunctory and never come to school. Parents want their children to fend for themselves, but what can our schools and teachers do? Today\’s children have increasingly prominent psychological problems. We rarely have this convenient knowledge, and parents’ knowledge in this area is even poorer. There are too many examples of students like this around us. They are withdrawn, do not get along with others, have communication difficulties, have bad habits of stealing, etc. These students have encountered various injuries while growing up and were ignored by their parents, which gradually accumulated like this. The more serious ones are those who commit suicide by jumping off a building after a disagreement. Some of them are hurt by love, some of their families don\’t understand, and some of them have actually suffered from depression for a long time. Giant babies, \”Mama\’s Boy\”, \”Phoenix Man\”, etc., as well as those arrogant men who sometimes physically collide with people or even stab people with knives, such as the recent dispute over \”one yuan\” in Wuchang A young man slashing with a knife. Coincidentally, an incident occurred recently in the small county town where I live due to the \”one yuan\” express fee.A dispute broke out and ended up killing someone with a knife. The above people all have these characteristics, that is, they are often manic, unable to control their emotions and handle their emotions, sensitive, have low self-esteem, are dependent, and have poor independence. These character traits are signs of an unhealthy personality. If a person loses the inner unity of his personality, he will have cognitive distortions, emotional out-of-control, abnormal behavior and other problems, and then he will do things that harm himself, others, and society. A person with a sound personality is mentally coordinated, his words and deeds are unified, he can correctly understand and evaluate whether his actions meet objective needs and social moral standards, and he can adjust the relationship between the individual and the external world in a timely manner. In order to raise a child with a sound personality, parents need to understand scientific training rules, and all of this requires the support of rich knowledge in psychology, education, etc., but if this knowledge is lacking, it will really ruin the child\’s life. It is your ignorance that destroys your children. 2. Being short-sighted about the child’s life plan imprisons the child’s life. Children are angels. When they grow up and their wings harden, they will fly. Leave your parents and fly to your own world. At this time, rational parents will let their children fly. The sky is high and the sea is vast, let them fly. As long as the children are happy and healthy, it is the greatest happiness for parents. But some ill-informed parents have very \”selfish\” intentions. They don\’t want their children to leave them, even if the children have grown up, even if the children have a better future. I saw a message from a netizen online. She said that her younger sister, while providing guidance for her nephew\’s college entrance examination application, actually asked her son to apply for a third-rate university, just so that she could always see her child, and her nephew\’s grades could be admitted to a 985 university. This is truly a very selfish mother, short-sighted and pathetic. If this child is forced to listen to his mother, his life will be ruined. How terrible an ignorant parent is! This case reminds me of one of my students. I have a student who loves to learn. From his knowledge reserve, we can see the importance his parents attach to his education. After the college entrance examination results came out, his results were ideal. When applying for the exam, I suggested that he apply to a university in Beijing. I think students should try to get out of their familiar areas when they are studying, and the city of Beijing will give students different insights and patterns. He also has this intention. The result was that he did not report to Beijing. I asked why, and he said that his mother did not allow him to go out of the province to study at university, and she wanted to stay in the province because she did not want her son to be too far away from her. The students felt helpless but had to comply. At that time, I felt very sorry for the student, and I couldn’t understand the mother’s feelings. When children grow up, they have to fly away from their parents. Men have ambitions in all directions. They should look for a broader world outside. In order to give children a better platform for learning and growth, parents should support them to go further, wider and higher. And this student mother cut off her child\’s wings for her own selfish desires. The selfish desires of the above two mothers are actually a kind of ideological short-sightedness. Such short-sightedness prevents the child from seeing a different world, and his life path will undergo earth-shaking changes from then on. Sigh for them! aroundThere are also friends like this. My child has graduated from college and wants to stay and work hard outside. She gave an order that the child must come back. They will arrange everything for their children. The reason why they don\’t want their children to stay outside is that they don\’t want to go outside to take care of their grandchildren when they have grandchildren in the future. Moreover, they only have one son and can\’t leave them too far away. Sometimes, we often forget our true identity as parents and cut off the wings of our children in the name of love, depriving them of infinite possibilities in life. 3. The ideological short-sightedness that favors boys over girls restricts girls’ lives. This kind of ideological short-sightedness is terrible. I have a female friend who studied hard, got into a good school, and found a job in Beijing as a human resources worker in a company, with good development prospects. Her younger brother is in high school in her hometown. One day she received a call from her mother, asking her to quit her job in human resources and work as a waiter selling shampoo in a supermarket in her hometown, in order to be a companion to her younger brother! She almost cried like crazy. For their own selfish reasons, they ignore their children\’s future. Sad and deplorable! The shortcomings of this mother are the patriarchal mentality and the belief that daughters are useless and sons are treasures. Such short-term knowledge has ruined the lives of many girls! I saw a piece of news a few days ago that made my heart particularly blocked. That teenage girl was cut off from studying because of her parents\’ short-sightedness of favoring boys over girls. According to the teacher, the girl went to a vocational school because her family was poor, but she is smart, studious, and highly savvy. She will definitely have no problem finding a job after finishing school. But after the New Year, the girl will drop out of school. Because both her parents have to go out to work, and they have a younger brother who is in kindergarten at home, and their parents cannot take him with them, so the girl has to drop out of school and go home to take care of her younger brother. When the teacher learned about it, he visited his home and persuaded his parents. With the help of reasoning, they can analyze the prospects of girls after finishing school and the path after dropping out of school, so that they can overcome difficulties and let girls go to school. But it was useless. The parents still refused the teacher\’s suggestion because they had to take care of their younger brother. The teacher was helpless. Yes, if parents have the awareness that sending girls to study is the foundation for their happiness, and that studying allows girls to choose a different life, these parents will definitely do everything possible to overcome difficulties and let girls continue to go to school. But, it seems that in their eyes, that \”younger brother\” is the most important. When these parents plan their children\’s lives, they all start from their own perspective, not from the perspective of their children\’s development, and have no long-term vision. This kind of short-term ideological knowledge will ruin their children\’s beautiful life! A distant relative\’s child was admitted to college last year. Just because she was a girl, the relative was unwilling to pay the tuition fee of several thousand yuan a year. It was not because the family did not have the money, but in their perception, girls were not admitted to college. Spending money on girls is a waste. Girls should take care of their husbands and raise their children, and fulfill their duties, and women without talent are virtuous. It is scary to think that such a big chicken soup has such loyal supporters. The final result is that this dormitory only allows the children to attend a tuition-free normal school, and they are not allowed to go home during the summer vacation, saying that the travel expenses are too expensive, and working outside can also support the family. Girls will be mothers in the future. A mother determines the future of a family and even a nation. So it is so important for girls to get education! Therefore, girls’ education must not be underestimated. If parents do not have such an ideology and despise girls, it will not only ruin the girl\’s personal life, but also ruin the daughter\’s future family. Behind every outstanding child is a pair of outstanding and far-sighted parents. They can guide their children correctly and give sincerely and consistently. I hope we can all be outstanding and far-sighted parents and let our children fly higher and further!