Parents learn to control their emotions, which is a blessing for their children in life

I was watching the news some time ago and saw a father stabbing his child with a knife. When I saw this, I felt sorry and distressed for the child. At the same time, I can also feel the pain of the father, because there is no father who does not love his children, but if he loves his children too deeply, the higher his expectations. With high expectations, there was a scene on the trial bench. The father said painfully, I just did the worst thing with the best intentions. Originally, the child scored 18 points in the physical education examination. He wanted to scare the child with a knife, but he failed to hold the knife firmly and stabbed into the child\’s body. The moment the knife penetrated the child\’s body, the child exclaimed, \”Dad, it\’s bad, it\’s gone in.\” When the father reacted and sent the child for treatment, the child had already left due to excessive blood loss and rescue efforts were ineffective. This child was only 13 years old, and his last words when he passed away were still worrying: Dad, I am really studying hard. Perhaps he is eager for his son to succeed, but this father often loses control of his emotions because of his children\’s poor grades. This is not the first time he has used a knife to scare his children. He can\’t see the child\’s hard-working attitude, he only knows that the child\’s grades are not good. Just like what Ziyou said in \”Little Shede\”: My mother doesn\’t love me, she always loves me who has good grades. As parents, we think deeply about whether we love our children because they are our children or because they are children with good grades. When it comes to your child\’s physical and mental health, which do you value more, your child\’s growth or performance? If our children don\’t get good grades, can we just lose our temper with them and not love them? Obviously not. Every parent loves their children, but they love them too much, so their requirements are extra high. When faced with poor performance of their children, it is easy for us to lose control of our emotions in an instant. But the fact is that children grow and transform in the gentle and firm attitudes of their parents. Only gentle and firm children will listen. Your children will be lucky to have parents with stable emotions! Only when parents\’ emotions are stable can their children grow up healthily, both physically and mentally, and face the difficulties in life with optimism and positivity. The impact of parents’ emotional instability on their children is beyond your imagination. Isn’t this more important than high grades? The parents are emotionally unstable and their child is a punching bag. The day before yesterday, I went to the hospital to get an acupuncture. I heard a patient say to the doctor: Doctor, my chest hurts. I have to teach my child how to do homework. After many times, he failed to do it, so he became very angry and couldn\’t help losing his temper. The tearing pain in my chest has occurred twice in the past three days, each time lasting longer than the last. I was lying on the treatment bed, listening to this mother\’s words, and I couldn\’t help but feel how similar this was to me in the past. I remember that when we first returned to our hometown from Wuhan, my son could not keep up with the progress and depth of teaching in his hometown, and he struggled to learn every subject. At that time, my son had just started kindergarten and he wanted to take his time and not be in a hurry. However, the teacher always told me that your son is weak and cannot keep up. Once or twice, I said it too many times, and I got affected and beat my son. My husband also said, look at what you taught, my son didn’t make any progress at all. Then, I beat my son again. Actually, thinking about it, I was angry because of their influence, but I didn\’t expect that my son became my punching bag because of my emotional instability. Later, whenever there was homework, my family would be in a state of complete chaos, with lots of beatings and scoldings, and my children’s grades did not improve., and I, like the mother I met in the hospital, had chest pain, like a needle prick. I never realized the impact my actions had on my son. It wasn\’t until one time that my son didn\’t dare to go home because he didn\’t do well in an exam that I became afraid. He said: I didn\’t do well in the exam. I was afraid that you would lose your temper, so I hid in the bamboo forest downstairs and didn\’t dare to come back. It was then that I realized that he was afraid of me. If I don\’t control my emotions, my son may be further affected in the future and may become timid, unsure of himself, or even tired of studying. So, I learned a lot about parenting knowledge, and finally understood that I need to discover more of the children\’s strengths, encourage and affirm them more, and at the same time, life is not just about good grades. Since then, I have gradually learned to control my emotions and no longer be affected by other people\’s words, let alone let my son become the punching bag for my bad emotions. \”Xunzi\” says: Don\’t take away anger, don\’t give out joy. Parents should not punish their children excessively when they are in a bad mood, nor should they be happy and reward their children excessively because their grades are good. If this is the case, children\’s lives will be controlled by our emotions, and they will easily become timid and cowardly, always acting based on the faces of adults. As parents, our original purpose of having children is actually just to enable them to grow up healthily and confidently. Parents with stable emotions are better able to raise confident children. On Zhihu, I saw a netizen sharing her experience: She said that she grew up in a family atmosphere full of noisy parents, so that… When she grew up, she had extremely low self-esteem and could not believe in love or find a boyfriend. When she was a child, her parents would never go behind her back when they quarreled, and they never considered her feelings. If her father drinks, her parents will quarrel; if the food is salty, her parents will quarrel; if she fails in the exam, her parents will still quarrel. In short, he will not miss any opportunity to cause a quarrel, and will even vent his hatred for the other party on her. Beating and scolding are common. It was in such an environment that when she grew up, she developed a character of low self-esteem and never dared to reveal her true thoughts. The parent-child relationship is like flying a kite. The child is the kite and the parents hold the emotional string. When parents are emotionally unstable, they always want to tighten the line, while the children always want to work hard to break free. Until one day, the elasticity of the string reached its limit and broke. The parents could no longer hold the kite and could only let the kite fall without direction. Emotionally stable parents will always keep the emotional cord elastic. Let your children fly freely in the sky like a kite, always confident in the sunshine. Just like Wu Yishu\’s parents, 16-year-old Wu Yishu stood at the poetry conference with a smile on her face and answered the questions confidently and calmly. We were surprised by this girl\’s amazing poetry storage and praised her for being someone else\’s child. But what we don\’t know is that Wu Yishu was not born \”other people\’s child\”. When she was a child, she was also very naughty and did not like to study. Her parents also had a headache, but their choices were different from most parents. They did not lose their temper at Wu Yishu, but knew how to control their emotions. When they saw that Wu Yishu liked ancient poetry, they chose to accompany her. They insisted on setting aside a fixed time to read ancient poetry with Wu Yishu after get off work every day.It was only through long-term persistence that Wu Yishu became a blockbuster at poetry conferences. Napoleon said: A man who can control his emotions is greater than a general who can capture a city. This sentence is equally applicable to parents. Parents who can control their own emotions can help their children grow up more confidently without any psychological burden. Like Wu Yishu, if parents are emotionally stable, it is easier for their children to fall in love with learning and inspire greater potential. Even if some children\’s grades are not so outstanding, they can face the difficulties in their future life optimistically and spend their lives confidently and calmly. Cherish parent-child time and be an emotionally stable parent. What if you can control your emotions and be an emotionally stable parent? 1. Take a deep breath, leave for a while, and communicate again after your emotions have stabilized. When a person is emotionally unstable, it is easy to do things that you regret. Therefore, when communication with children reaches a stalemate and parents feel that they are about to collapse, they should stop communication immediately. At this time, parents can choose to leave and take a deep breath. Wait until the mood calms down before communicating or talking about the topic with the child. The effect will be much better. 2. Communicate more with outstanding parents around you and learn from each other’s strengths. This is a method I often use. Since I fully understood the impact of my bad moods on my children, I have often chatted with other mothers. Learn how others communicate with their children. If I learn a better method, I will take the initiative to communicate with the child, and then we will try the new method together. 3. Communicate more with your children and understand their thoughts. In fact, children are not as stupid as we think. They have their own ideas and problem-solving ideas. It\’s just that when we lose our temper, we don\’t give them a chance to speak, and they are afraid that if they say something wrong, they will make us even more angry. Therefore, by communicating more with our children and understanding their thoughts, we can better control our temper when we want to lose our temper. At the end of the writing, I hope we can be emotionally stable parents, be more accompanying and less irritable with our children on the road to learning and growth. I hope that every child can face the many storms on the road of life with confidence and sunshine, and grow into a person with a strong, confident and sunny heart.