Parents’ love debt cannot be paid by their children

Recently, I saw a news report about the actress Huang Yi: In 2011, Huang Yi put on a wedding dress and married Huang Yiqing, with a sweet look on her face. But when the shelf life of love expired, the two began to fall out and quarrel with each other. You said I was a domestic abuser, and I said you were cheating. They got into trouble and finally decided to separate. In 2014, after the two officially divorced, because their baby daughter was awarded to Huang Yi, Huang Yiqing was unable to visit and wanted custody of her daughter. Later, in order to vent his anger, he scolded Huang Yi on Weibo and posted her ID card information, itinerary plan and other private data. There were roughly 66 PO posts suspected of infringement. Huang Yi was so angry that he did not hesitate to go to court, accusing him of harming his reputation and invading privacy. Recently, the court issued a first-instance verdict, ruling that Huang Yiqing publicly apologized and compensated for his mental losses. After the verdict, the judge specifically reminded Huang Yiqing: \”The next generation cannot pay for the grievances and debts of the previous generation.\” I hope they will consider that their daughter is growing up and needs someone to protect her mental health. I hope they can put aside their grievances and not No matter how bad the words are, try to reduce the impact of the divorce on the children. Unexpectedly, Huang Yiqing was still unconvinced and prepared to continue fighting the lawsuit. He announced on Weibo: \”The lawyer will appeal in the next few days.\” He wanted to win, but he never thought about such a lawsuit and such a quarrel. , there is actually no winner. If parents continue to make trouble, it will only cause irreparable damage to their children\’s young minds. If a child accepts these negative messages from an early age, in his or her impression, the ending of the marriage will be to fall apart; the relationship between husband and wife will be to be maliciously slandered. We often say that your future lover is hidden in your family of origin. If you have never seen good and stable love in your native family, only severance and quarrels, then when you grow up, you will face the sea of ​​love and many uncertainties. How dare you cut through the waves and set sail. My best friend A Tian has a delicate appearance, a gentle temper, and a stable job. She is a typical candidate for a good wife in the eyes of men. But she has graduated many years ago and has numerous suitors, but she has never been willing to fall in love and get married. When A Tian was a child, her mother divorced in anger because her father cheated on her. After the divorce, A Tian lived with her mother. Her mother never remarried and raised her with all kinds of hardships. When she was growing up, her mother kept telling her how bad and unreliable men were, and used herself as an example to tell A Tian: Look, I was desperate to marry your dad, but in the end it was just It was a mess all over. When she was a child, her father would often visit her and bring her cute little toys and gifts. He was considerate and bought her a princess doll, wearing her favorite pink gauze dress; he also bought a childish little Brazilian turtle, which she had always wanted, beautiful and cute, easy to live and easy to raise. But every time, his mother would argue with him, tell him to get out, and scold him harshly, saying that he was hypocritical and deliberately pretending to be kind. When my father gets scolded, he will retaliate. Cursing and cursing, the two of them started talking uncontrollably and rummaging over old scores, their voices getting louder and louder. A Tian was so frightened that she ran away and hid in her room.Inside, I huddled up under the quilt and covered my little ears, feeling confused and sad. After growing up, A Tian looked normal on the outside. Moreover, because she has seen the smoke-filled way of getting along, and because she doesn’t do to others what they don’t want others to do to her, she treats the world more gently than others. This also makes her favored by more men. But she was always timid, evasive, and did not dare to accept their pursuit. Because she has never seen what true love looks like since she was a child. In her impression, as her mother said, \”No man is good.\” When they were chasing you, they could say anything to each other, but they were extremely forgetful after marriage. They don\’t care about the husband and wife\’s kindness for a hundred days, that there is no cat in the world who will not eat fish, no man who will not cheat, and no domestic flowers will be as fragrant as wild flowers. She has been instilled with countless such concepts since she was a child, and she is used to seeing her parents bickering and refusing to give in to each other. In her eyes, love and marriage have been alienated into a very scary image. She felt that after getting married, there would be no peaceful life, and getting along as a couple was nothing more than a confrontation with each other. Moreover, she felt that it was really not good-looking when her mother was talking about old and new grudges. She was very afraid that she would be like this in the future. After being hurt, she would be angry and angry all her life, and she would never forget it. Therefore, when those boys chased her, instead of feeling happy, she suddenly sketched a terrifying picture of the future in her mind. What they said \”I like you\” in her ears turned into: \”Come on, let\’s hurt each other!\” They said: \”A Tian, ​​you are so beautiful.\” In her ears, it turned into: \”You No matter how beautiful she is, she will turn into a resentful woman in the future.\” The negative impression given to her by her elders has become deeply ingrained. Therefore, in her eyes, beautiful love becomes a mistake that will cause eternal regret. She feels that emotional matters must not be touched, otherwise it will be like moths rushing to the flame and destroying themselves. A Tian\’s mother is now very regretful and often says that it was her fault, that she had harmed her child and made her lack confidence in marriage. Yes, if parents are always arguing, complaining, and tense in love, then the children will be forced to pay for their parents\’ grievances, and they will appear safe on the surface, but in fact they are secretly hurt. However, if parents can have a good attitude and handle the joys and sorrows in marriage properly, then even if they divorce, their children will receive positive education, absorb positive energy, and receive correct nourishment. Trump’s ex-wife’s approach in this regard is a good example. Thinking back then, the accident in her marriage came unexpectedly. When she was skiing, the mistress actually walked up to her and openly challenged her, letting her know that there was a painful truth hidden in the marriage. However, she did not get angry and tear her husband apart. Instead, she left after getting alimony, started her own business, sang songs all the way, and created a new situation in her life. The husband did not completely let go of the old relationship, but felt guilty and compensated her. What this couple did will definitely leave a good impression on their daughter. Beautiful Ivanka﹒ Trump has known since he was a child that there may indeed be ups and downs in marriage, but both parties can deal with it calmly and with a proper attitude.. Dad doesn\’t avoid his own mistakes, and mom doesn\’t punish herself with other people\’s mistakes. When you love, just stay together. If you don’t love anymore, you have your flowers blooming and the warmth of spring, and I have my blue sea and blue sky. Women should strengthen themselves. There is nothing to be afraid of in love and marriage. Marriage is maturity and divorce is growth. After the divorce, both parents cared deeply about their children and have maintained a good relationship. When his ex-wife got married again, Trump generously lent her his high-end villa to hold a luxurious wedding. At Trump\’s inauguration, his ex-wife was also invited to attend. And after many years, their daughter finally grew into what they expected and what others envied. Like her mother, she bravely started her own business. She did not fear marriage because her parents were divorced. Instead, she had a beautiful and happy family, a harmonious relationship with her husband, and gave birth to three children. She did not hate her father because of the divorce, but lived in harmony with him, became his right-hand assistant, and stayed by his side radiantly. Parents\’ attitude towards love and marriage is the template for their children. How parents maintain relationships and deal with problems will leave their immature children with their first and most profound impression of the world. We often say \”teaching by words and deeds\”. Indeed, as children grow up, every word, deed, and action of parents will have an impact on their children. In childhood, children\’s memory is very good. If parents are harmonious when they get along and are calm when they are apart, the children will remember all the good things, maintain a calm mood, and grow up happily. On the contrary, if parents are tit-for-tat and quarrel endlessly, it will also leave a sharp impression on the child\’s memory. Waiting until it has an impact on his future life and regretting it later will not help. Only those who have seen love can understand love. Only those who have experienced love can accept love. When parents have conflicts in their lives, if they just act out of emotion, hold on to the other person, and only care about their own success or failure, they will forget what kind of example they have set for their children. Our country has been adhering to the \”gentleman\’s way\” since ancient times. The same should be said for handling emotions. The friendship between gentlemen is as light as clear water, but they nourish each other and have profound meaning. When a gentleman breaks off a friendship, he will not say anything bad. At most, he will just forget each other in this world. If parents can handle their marriages with this kind of rational attitude, then their children will also know how to accept love happily and be courteous when breaking up. He will know how to trust, and he will not be afraid of setbacks. He will love with confidence and with openness. Otherwise, once a war breaks out between parents, every cannonball thrown at each other will also injure their own children. In the time to come, the child will be alone, licking his wounds alone, hesitant and hesitant in the face of the possibility of happiness. But the child is innocent. He was born out of love and should have grown up with love, not with hurt. In Huang Yi\’s case, the judge said it very well: \”The next generation cannot pay for the debts of the previous generation.\” As a parent, you should never forget that you have potential for your children.Impartial influence. The love of a baby is a good gift from parents; the love between husband and wife is a good example for parents.