Parents’ nagging and distrust are a lifelong nightmare for children

Recently I have noticed that my son talks more and more. You have to ask several whys for everything. If you don\’t have a little patience, you will really get annoyed. So when grandma was often asked about her situation and was at the end of her rope, she could only say begging for mercy, \”Go find your dad.\” The kid would run up to me and ask me. But many times I can only turn to the almighty circle of friends. But no matter what, I don\’t want to deal with my children. Because there are many secrets hidden in children\’s problems. And smart parents will take every problem of their children seriously, because talking not only helps children increase their knowledge and practice communication skills. It makes children feel more respected. Parents who respect their children tend to gain their children\’s trust. Only after gaining the trust of parents can children tell their parents their own affairs. There is a story on Zhihu, if parents can treat their children patiently like this. I think this is a blessing for every child. A little girl told her mother that there was a ghost, and she was too scared to sleep alone. The mother probably thought this was just the child\’s random thoughts, so she just comforted the child and let the child go to sleep on her own. But the girl\’s father did not do this. Instead of telling the girl that there were no ghosts in the world, he asked her what the ghost looked like. The girl said, \”It\’s black and invisible, but when she takes a look at the ghost, it disappears.\” That night, her father did not \”drive\” her back to bed. Instead, he chatted with her for a long time and got an important piece of information: \”I often see ghosts on the way to school.\” Later, my father asked for leave to get off work early and followed her behind her. Finally, On the third day, he saw a middle-aged man wearing a hat stalking his daughter. He subdued the man and called the police. As the girl\’s mother said, his father is always patient enough to listen to anyone\’s nonsense. When dealing with his daughter\’s wife, he is always patient enough to ask what it is and why. He will not deny others casually, but will guide others to express themselves every time. Therefore, the best education we can give our children is to respect them and treat them as independent people. We need to trust the children in front of us, and we don’t always need to think about changing the children. Many times, we just need to guide our children to express themselves. Hidden in the child\’s words are secrets about safety. Many parents are worried that their children will be bullied when they go to school, and they are even more worried that their children will not speak up if they encounter problems. However, many times parents\’ carelessness or insensitivity often condone the behavior of criminals. There was a piece of news at the beginning of this year that made many people angry. A father in Beijing paid a high salary of 160,000 yuan to hire a famous teacher to tutor his high school daughter at home. Unexpectedly, after luring the wolf into the house, this \”beast teacher\” molested and molested the child for more than a year. During this period, her parents never noticed, but their daughter mentioned to her parents several times that she no longer wanted to take tutoring classes. The father didn\’t know what happened. He thought his daughter just had a heavy workload and refused to make up classes emotionally, so he didn\’t pay much attention to it. Continue to trust that famous teacher instead of having a good talk with your daughter. So this tutor changed from his initial small actions to becoming bold and bold. The end result was that the girl\’s life was almost ruined. Faced with repeated hints from their children, parents are so numb. It can be seen that the communication between parents and children is not smooth. childIf you don\’t dare to be strict, you may be threatened by criminals\’ words and don\’t know how to speak. Of course we don’t know the specific reasons. But when her daughter said she didn\’t want tutoring from this teacher, her family tried to persuade her by saying that changing teachers frequently would be detrimental to her academic performance. It can be seen that the parents have failed in their duties. He put his whole heart and soul into his child\’s academic performance. The father said that seeing that his child\’s academic performance was not affected, he felt that everything was normal. It\’s really ridiculous. It can be said that every tragedy that occurs is the accumulation of a bunch of small problems. Finally, it broke out and became a tragedy. In the Korean movie \”Sowon\”, something happened to the child, which was also due to the long-term accumulation of family problems. The father is absent and the mother is too busy to take care of the children. If only this father in Beijing had asked more questions. Trust your children more, instead of just caring about grades. As long as you believe that the child\’s idea of ​​changing teachers will not be unreasonable, then this tragedy may be avoided from the beginning. Too many of us have this experience. Especially children who are labeled as \”bad kids\”. Even if you do something right, no one will believe you; if you don’t do something wrong, you will be told that you are wrong. A reader once left a message saying that when he was a child, because his family was very poor, he wore rags and lived frugally. But he is very naughty and his academic performance is not good. And he was famous for being \”stingy\” and made many classmates laugh. Once a classmate in the class lost two dollars. Almost all the classmates said he got it. The most hateful thing is that the teacher actually thinks that he took it. Because a child who is dirty, poor, and has poor grades is often a bad child in the eyes of the teacher. He said that he really wanted to find a hole in the ground and crawl into it. For the first time in his life, he felt very uncomfortable and felt that he had been wronged. Later he returned home and told his mother about it. His mother didn\’t say anything, but later gave him two dollars and asked him to return it to his classmates. It turned out that my mother also thought he had stolen it. From then on, he no longer trusted the people around him, and he didn\’t bother to read books. Because no matter what I say, no one listens, let alone believes it. I have been carefully guarding myself. I still don’t feel safe. Nagging and scolding are often less effective than listening and encouraging. \”Little Doudou\” Kuroyanagi Tetsuko said, \”You are such a good boy!\” This sentence changed her life. So even though she was kicked out of school, her mother never nagged or scolded her. Mom didn\’t tell Xiaodoudou about dropping out of school. Mom knows that even if she tells her, she still can\’t figure out what\’s wrong with her. Besides, it\’s not appropriate for Xiaodoudou to carry ideological baggage because of these things. It\’s better to wait until she grows up before telling her! In fact, every child has many advantages. It’s just that they are often ignored by strict parents, and their shortcomings are magnified and magnified. For example, Xiaodoudou has many good qualities-kindness, enthusiasm, compassion, and honesty. Even though Xiaodoudou kept getting into trouble, the teacher kept saying this to her: \”Xiaodoudou, you are such a good child.\” Therefore, she always had the confidence of \”I am a good child\” in her heart, and felt that she was indeed a good child. is a good boy. Perhaps even the principal would not have thought that his words would inspire Xiaodoudou throughout his life. Parents\’ chatterAnd distrust, labeling children is a nightmare for their lives. The affirmation, support and encouragement of parents often give children endless strength.