Parents of freshmen write to parents of college entrance examination students: One test paper cannot determine the fate of their children

There are still fifteen days left, and the college entrance examination season is here again. During this period of time, many parents in the readership group have been unable to hold themselves back any longer. No matter what the topic is, it will eventually lead to the college entrance examination. This morning, a mother lamented in the group: There are still fifteen days. Just thinking about it makes me tremble. When I saw this sentence, I burst into laughter. I was also the mother of a college entrance examination student, and my daughter also took the college entrance examination twice. The anxiety and hesitation these parents feel now is even worse than mine in the past. In my child\’s senior year of high school, there were still several months before the college entrance examination, and I couldn\’t calm down. I see my child once every three weeks. This frequency is intensive enough, but not enough. During the three weeks, I will at least write a letter to my daughter and ask the head teacher to deliver it to her. In the last few months, I was most afraid of my child calling home. Not only was I afraid that my child would waste time, but I was even more afraid of her capriciousness. As a senior in high school, the closer to the college entrance examination, the greater the pressure. There are small tests every week, big tests every month, and bad grades. Before the adults say anything, the child collapses first. He explained all kinds of truths to the point where he was exhausted, and the children cried and screamed frequently. At that time, I had very complicated emotions. I was looking forward to finishing the exam as soon as possible, but also wanted the time to come slower and slower, so that the children could have more time to review comprehensively. My children were struggling in school, and I was clenching my fists at home and trying hard. I couldn\’t help my children with their studies, so I thought of some crooked ways – making lucky charms for my children based on the instructions of zodiac experts, going to temples to ask for fortune-telling, and releasing animals into the river. As long as it\’s good for the children, it doesn\’t matter if it\’s superstitious or not, just do it. There is still one week left before the college entrance examination. A certain zodiac god secretly passed on a good luck secret that needs to be completed with the children. I woke my husband up in the middle of the night and asked him to drive with me to a school seven or eight hundred miles away. As a result, I was severely criticized: \”The child hasn\’t gotten around yet, and your claws are already numb. What are you fussing over?\” Not to mention the frustration and anger when I was rejected, my daughter is not mine alone, so I can act like a normal person when I am a father. \”Isn\’t it just a college entrance examination? It doesn\’t matter what you pass.\” After saying this, others turned over and continued to sleep, but I had insomnia. I thought about all the things and finally fell asleep, and I had another dream about the college entrance examination for half the night. Tossing and turbulent, the college entrance examination is here. I carefully picked up my child from school. Because I can write a little bit, I wrote two essays on gambling topics for my child in advance. If the bet is right, I can follow it back and follow it to get high scores. Before going to the examination room, I made a cup of coffee for my daughter to drink, and stuffed two pieces of chocolate into her mouth. All of these are to ensure nerve excitement. With such stimulation, extraordinary performance may not be possible. After the first test, I saw that the child was in a good mood and felt a little more at ease. After the second exam, the child’s face was longer than a donkey’s. Okay, there is no need to ask anything. The family had a dull meal and sent her to rest. It was almost midnight, and the child got up from the bed and said, \”I can\’t sleep.\” She pushed her down and closed her eyes to rest if she couldn\’t sleep. The next day, the emotions were still on a roller coaster. Finally, after the exam, the child breathed a sigh of relief and we felt as if a huge burden had been lifted. On the day after the exam, before I had time to take a breath, answers were already flying all over the parent group. The child who originally said that his grades were not considered before the scores were announcedSon, I couldn\’t sit still anymore. I checked the answers with my phone in my hand. I checked the answers for most of the night. After finishing the check, I couldn\’t even think about my extraordinary performance. Thank God, it\’s not out of bounds yet. The original plan was to travel around on the 9th. The child has been studying in this strange city for a year and has never been anywhere except the campus. However, the child does not want to go anywhere and just wants to go home to catch up on his sleep. I slept for a few days at first, but then I got all my sleep and started doing nothing, holding the remote control and watching TV every day. For more than ten years, I have been accustomed to not delaying my studies even when I go home. Now I watch TV every day, and I am really not used to it as a mother. Not to mention studying, you can always do housework. The daughter rolled her eyes and said, \”After studying for so many years, let me have a good rest.\” After they rolled their eyes at each other for a while, the scores came out. When she saw the score, her daughter\’s face immediately turned green. It was more than thirty points lower than the lowest line she had estimated. In an instant, the dissatisfaction that had been accumulated for a long time poured out. The child had already skipped a beat because of the parents\’ behavior. Now, in front of this terrible result, she stopped and said nothing. After re-reading for one year, I have gained less than 20 points. Although I have stepped from the second book to the first book, it is still far from what we expected. At this time, the results of other students came one after another. The most increased score was nearly 200 points. Those who increased by more than 10 points like my daughter were rare. During the four years of high school, I have been targeting pharmacy schools, hoping that she would major in pharmaceutical chemistry or pharmacy. In order to understand the school and majors, I used her name to register on the Tieba forum of the target school when my child was a sophomore in high school. Now it’s great, I don’t even have to think about going to a first-level pharmacy school. How about going to a second-level pharmacy school? At least I got a good score in the exam. After repeatedly hesitating, it was time to apply for a volunteer. In order to ensure that my child’s scores would not be wasted, I spent 5,000 yuan to hire a tutor to apply for the university with half a year left before the college entrance examination. After getting such a score, the instructor said: \”If you take one, you can only choose from colleges in the province.\” Colleges in the province? I never thought about it! On the way to apply for a volunteer, my father, who had been critically ill for many days, passed away. Therefore, when communicating with the volunteer teachers, I was completely confused and couldn\’t think at all. At the critical moment, my husband, who had never had a say in the child\’s education, took the initiative. He contacted several friends, inquired about some information, and decided to enroll the child in the gardening major. His opinion was approved by the volunteer teacher, and he asked for my opinion again. I no longer had the intention to think about these things. I just wanted to book a school and go home quickly. I had been planning and preparing for the screening for four years since my children were in their first year of high school. But when it came to the final step, family emergencies and poor scores were both attacking me. None of the homework I had done in the past was used. In the end, my daughter was admitted to the garden major of a university in this province. Although the admission notice arrived, I was still angry with her. If she disobeyed her a little bit, I would hit her with points. After re-study for one year, the various expenses were more than 40,000 yuan, which only increased by a mere ten points. This was a loss-making transaction, which makes me angry when I think about it. Unexpectedly, after the score came out, I was stunned for two days. Soon, my daughter\’s nature came back to life. She was anxious about whoever brought up the score. When the quarrel got heated, she packed up a small baggage, ran away from home and went to a classmate\’s house. . Oops, I\’m even more angry nowWell, if you have this ability, why don’t you go to Tsinghua University? When he was angry, all the rotten sesame seeds came out of Chen Guzi. No matter how much he thought, he felt that this child was bad. We had a wild summer vacation, and by the time the school started, our emotions had calmed down quite a bit. Of course, this subsides mainly because the mother has accepted the facts. After accepting the reality, I looked at those who couldn\’t even pass one exam and felt satisfied. Parents don’t lose their temper, and their children’s mood improves. At this time, they start to open up: “During this period, I feel much more uncomfortable than you.” “It’s not that I didn’t study, and it’s not that I didn’t try my best. Who would have thought that I would get such bad results in the exam? , how to explain it, I can’t explain it at all, I feel a fire in my heart, and you are still finding fault, so of course I will get angry.\” After saying that, he smiled and said: \”But I also understand you, after all, the hope is relatively high, but You also have to understand me. I have worked hard for a year and I don’t want to be like this.\” Hearing what the child said, I suddenly felt a little embarrassed. I didn’t say it before repeating the exam. I am willing to admit defeat and just try my best. No matter what the outcome is, why do you just say one thing and do another when it comes to real matters? Forget it, forget it, it’s my mother’s willfulness that’s not okay. When the mother apologized, the daughter was very excited. When she was excited, she started talking about the family affairs of other classmates. Needless to say, those who did well in the exam, and those who also failed in the exam, all had to walk on thin ice at home. There was a girl whose mother never talked to her again from the day her scores came out. Another thing is that the mother didn\’t criticize her child, she just cried when she thought about it. \”You\’re doing much better than those parents.\” My daughter hugged me around the waist and said, \”That\’s it now. Let\’s just accept the fact. It won\’t be the same no matter how hard I study when I get to college.\” At this point in our conversation, our hearts are completely broken. After opening it, when it was time to send the children to school, they were talking and laughing again and became close to each other. Now, the child\’s freshman year is almost over. Looking back at the chaotic time before and after the college entrance examination, I suddenly realized: Although the college entrance examination paper is important, it really cannot determine the child\’s fate. This feeling becomes more and more intense with the deepening of college life. Students majoring in horticulture often go to botanical gardens and parks to identify plants and trees. Every time I see my daughter as happy as a bird in the green bushes, I can\’t help but be filled with emotion. Although my current major was not in my original plan, But it actually became a reality, and it seemed that it was more suitable for my daughter\’s romantic nature than the silent and tense pharmaceutical laboratory. Of course, future employment in gardening may not be as high-paying as pharmacy, but will the child\’s happiness index be lowered just because he or she earns thousands less dollars? The answer is really not necessarily. When I think about it, I feel completely relieved. Before going to college, scores were the only indicator for parents to measure their children. When they become college students, learning is no longer the only requirement we have for our children. Leaving the perspective of grades, we unconsciously take other factors into consideration. These factors that have nothing to do with learning are often more important than grades. For example, on Mother\’s Day, my daughter expresses her blessings by express delivery to her mother with 11 roses. The huge feeling of happiness is no worse than her getting double hundred in the exam. For another example, the summer vacation of freshman year has not yet ended, and my daughter has already made arrangements in advance – when the vacation is over, she will take care of her younger brother at home, and her parents willTraveling alone: ​​\”You should live a good life as two people, don\’t be so hard.\” My parents may not yearn for the world of two people, but my daughter has such a heart, which moved us so much that we almost cried. Being so moved, I feel ashamed when I think about how harsh I was to my children after the college entrance examination. The meaning of children to their parents is not just attending a prestigious school. Being able to become a student in a top-notch university is certainly a source of pride for parents, but if you have tried your best and still cannot get rid of an unsatisfactory ending, it is not a tragedy. As long as she has correct outlook on life, is healthy, well-educated, considerate of her parents, and knows how to be grateful, no matter what kind of university she goes to, she will always be a treasure in the hands of her parents. When looking at life before the college entrance examination, it is inevitable to exaggerate, as if the fate of children is really fundamentally different if the school is different. During the cold window of studying hard, I can’t exaggerate the encouragement. Only when you really get through the college entrance examination and get out of the puzzle will you understand that all kinds of life have advantages and disadvantages. The awesome have the arrogance of being awesome, but they also have unimaginable hard work; the mediocre have mediocre worries, but they also have the freedom that is rare for elite groups. The specific kind of life does not depend on what kind of college admission ticket you get, but what kind of nature your child has. If you are unwilling to be mediocre, you can still rise and counterattack even if you are in a humble situation; if you are indifferent by nature, even if you are among the elite, you will still be unknown. The true meaning of college for children is not a ticket, but a necessary journey. During this journey, they will meet everything they should meet one by one, including teachers and friends, classmates, dreams, and love. After four years of college life, they leave campus and go their separate ways. No one can predict what the future will bring. Just like Jack Ma, who passed the college entrance examination in Hangzhou Normal University after three college entrance examinations, he never dreamed that one day he would become a famous business figure in the world. The world is infinitely big, and after the age of 20, there is still a long life that is several times longer than in the past. The college entrance examination is just a step, and the difference in academic qualifications is just a different step. Being able to have all your wishes come true is temporary success due to God’s grace. If things go against expectations, God must have other plans. Therefore, no matter how successful the exam is, you should give your child an affectionate hug and thank you for your persistence and hard work. I owe my daughter this hug, and I regret it every time I think about it. I owe you this, you still have the opportunity, please don’t miss it.