Parents often say this, which is the biggest disaster in education

Two days ago, I saw a video like this on Zhihu: In a shopping mall, a man knelt pitifully on the ground while a woman punched and kicked him with her shoes. The man who was scolded, scolded, and violently beaten by the woman showed no resistance from beginning to end, and even knelt down humbly and took off his clothes in public… The woman spoke sharply, and every word was barbed: \”I will marry you for nothing!\” Take off your clothes and get out of here and I will forgive you!\” \”You are just a dog in my eyes!\” \”My food, clothing, and shelter are all mine, have you ever raised me for a day?\” \”Beast! Bastard!\” Standing there The little girl next to them was not afraid to show sympathy, but followed her mother very \”sensiblely\”. What is even more surprising is that under the instigation of her mother to \”beat him to death\”, her daughter actually \”obediently\” beat her father with her shoes… Netizens commented: No matter who is right or wrong, I only feel sorry for the daughter of this family. . Children should not grow up in such an environment, and I feel even more sorry for the child hitting his father. This child is really scary and will probably be just like her mother in the future. Bi Shumin once said in \”Family Questions\”: \”Children who grow up in a chaotic and ugly atmosphere are the painful products of shoddy families. The first thing they see and get used to at home is brokenness, displacement, roughness and cruelty. .\” When parents slander their spouse, no matter who wins, the child actually loses in the end. I once saw this news: A 3-year-old girl was lost. When the police asked for information about her parents, the little girl said: \”My father called me Fatty!\” The policeman couldn\’t laugh or cry. It turns out that at home, her mother often calls her father. The little girl remembers it as \”die fat man\”. The names and attitudes that parents give to their significant other affect their children\’s understanding of themselves. My college roommate, Yan Zi, recently came to me to complain that her son, who had just entered the second grade, looked down on her and only allowed his father to attend the parent-teacher conference. I heard from Yanzi that she was the one who used to take her son to and from school, but suddenly one day the child was crying and making trouble and refused to let her take him to him. Yanzi felt very surprised. After repeated questioning, his son told the truth in one sentence: \”My father is right. Other mothers are very capable, but you can\’t do anything at home! I will ask my father to send me to school in the future. I don’t want you to give it away!” It turns out that since they had children, Yanzi and her husband often quarreled over trivial matters. Her husband’s mouth and eyes were full of complaints and dislike for Yanzi, and he would even order her around like a nanny. \”Why can\’t you mop the floor clean?\” \”Look at you, you look like a yellow-faced woman all day long.\” \”Hurry up, go wash my shirt, I have to wear it tomorrow!\” Sometimes Yanzi complained a few times, The husband would point at Yanzi\’s nose and scold him, \”You rely entirely on me to support you, so what qualifications do you have to say this?\” Children often see the subtle interactions between parents and remember them in their hearts. The originally kind and hard-working mother turned into a useless \”middle-aged woman\” in the eyes of her son. Psychologist Satya believes that a person is inextricably linked to his family of origin, and this link may affect his life. You are gentle and gentle to your partner, and your children are mostly modest and polite. You are arrogant to your partner, and your children are mostly polite.Children are often neither old nor young, and their words and deeds cannot escape the shadow of their parents. The attitude of parents towards their significant other determines how their children view their parents. If parents always blame and slander each other, it will not only affect the child\’s cognition, but also shake the parent-child relationship. Parents are the support of their children. Even if they cannot lift them hard, at least they should not let their children get trapped in the whirlpool. A Weibo netizen shared her own experience. She described the relationship between her parents in her memory like this: \”When I was a child, my parents often quarreled. My father was very fierce. He disliked my mother every day and even beat her. I felt that my mother It\’s so pitiful. I wanted to help her, but I was so useless. I was afraid that my father would beat me, so I didn\’t dare to do anything. I could only hide and cry by myself.\” Her father always used her as a microphone, and she suffered a lot. Tortured, but never dared to resist. All she could do was filter her father\’s words as much as possible to at least make her mother sound less sad. \”I really tried my best. I\’m already so good, why are they still quarreling?\” Growing up in such a family atmosphere, she became low self-esteem and sensitive, and even had to seek help from a psychologist because she could not establish an intimate relationship. The original wound may have scarred, but it will never heal. Susan, a Ph.D. in psychology from the United States, said: \”Parents plant spiritual and emotional seeds in their children\’s hearts, and they will grow with their children.\” In some families, parents plant love, respect and independence; in others, they plant spiritual and emotional seeds. In the family, parents sow fear, responsibility or guilt. Parents speak harshly to each other, and children are forced to \”take sides\”, either supporting the strong or sympathizing with the weak, but the price to pay for this choice is too heavy. Some time ago, Li Guoqing became a hot topic when he stole the official seal, and the couple once again drew swords on each other. Li Guoqing also publicly stated that he hoped that his son would not remain neutral and asked his son to help him get money. Parents openly quarreling and smearing each other is already a huge blow to their children. To force their children to \”take sides\” again is extremely cruel. They are both biological parents, and the blood is thicker than the water. It seems that no matter who the child prefers, it is wrong. Psychologists believe that parents\’ attacks on their significant other will distort and split the child\’s psychology, which will have a great impact on the child\’s future personality, relationship, and marriage. Slandering your significant other in front of your children may make you happy for a while, but it will ruin your children\’s life. Last year\’s hit drama \”Everything Is Fine\” also taught us a profound lesson. The mother is strong, the father is weak, and the father has lived with his mother\’s accusation and resentment all his life. The three children of the Su family have all become innocent victims of their parents\’ relationship: the eldest is fake and good-looking, the second is \”Mama\’s boy\”, and the youngest does not know Unconsciously, I have become the person I hate the most. Parents slandering each other are the biggest enemies in educating their children. The way you are in your family is likely to be the way your children will be in the future. Suhomlinsky once said that parents are the most beloved people of a child. Only when parents respect and love each other can he feel that there is truth in the world and virtue in the world. I watched an American TV series \”Modern Family\”, and the scene that impressed me the most was that Glory\’s ex-husband was an alcoholic and even domestic violence, but Glory told her son: \”I left your dad because of myself.\” \”I am very grateful to him, because he once Gave me what I wanted mostof happiness. \”A good family is not perfect. It has disputes, hurts and conflicts, but it is more about respect and tolerance. In \”The First Half of My Life\”, when Luo Zijun had not noticed anything unusual about her husband Chen Junsheng, the child had already I asked my father for the first time: \”Will you and your mother get divorced?\” \”He was obviously full of insecurity and fear. Maurice Sendak said: \”Don\’t underestimate the insight of children, they know everything. \”When Luo Zijun and Chen Junsheng separated, she did not choose to gnash her teeth or curse at the man in front of her children, nor did she say to her children, \”Your dad doesn\’t want us anymore.\” Faced with her son\’s doubts and discomfort, Luo Zijun showed her best behavior as a mother Qualified side: Face up to your own feelings and life honestly and wisely, explain to your children without sadness or resentment, and give your children a sufficient sense of security. Zhou Guoping said: \”In a harmonious family, where parents love each other, children can live in a loving and happy environment. Spending childhood in the atmosphere will give his life a warm and bright background, which can ensure his mental health and good emotional intelligence. \”Parents who undermine each other and dislike each other will never raise happy children. Not slandering the other half in front of the children is the best family education. Mr. Yang Jiang once said: Only with a good family and a good education can there be a good family. Children. What you want your children to be is what you teach them through words and deeds. Therefore, the more you are in front of your children, the more you should respect and care for your other half. Parents respecting each other is the best feng shui for a family.