Parents should accept the ordinaryness of their children

It’s final exam season again, and anxiety among parents has doubled. Various news are constantly flooding the screen about college entrance examinations, high school entrance examinations, final exams, etc.; a certain top student around you has been admitted to a certain prestigious school in advance; other people\’s children have taken first place in the mock test before the final… But I Where\’s your baby? No matter how hard you try, you\’re still an ordinary kid who\’s neither good nor bad, unhurried… Everyone wants to get applause, but no one wants to be the one applauding. The fact that children will eventually be ordinary is a reality that parents must face. When children are very young, it is easy to be asked: \”What do you want to be when you grow up?\” When Japanese children face this question, they often answer , When I grow up, I want to be a tram driver, a baker, a cleaner… But such answers will be mercilessly laughed at in China. If a child dares to say that his dream is to be a chef when he grows up, even his parents will feel ashamed. In China, parents teach their children the standard answers early on. When they grow up, they can only be scientists, writers, and astronauts… Only in this way will the children be considered promising and the parents will have face. More importantly, this is in line with parents’ ardent hope that their children will become successful. The most difficult fact for Chinese parents to accept and the least willing to admit is that their children will most likely be extremely ordinary and ordinary people. Even if you are vaguely aware of this from your heart, you must overcome all difficulties and create conditions to cultivate children into geniuses. Therefore, \”hoping for their sons to become dragons and their daughters to become phoenixes\” has become the grand goal that many Chinese parents have set for themselves, and it is also a great responsibility they have given themselves. Of course, this is understandable and understandable. Therefore, we do not need to explore the psychology behind this, nor do we need to debate whether this approach is right or wrong. We only state one fact: 99% of people are 99% likely to spend their lives in an ordinary way. From a probability perspective, how a person finds joy, happiness and peace in ordinary life and work is the most important ability. When our parents educate their children, they often ignore the 99% and instead focus on the extremely slim hope of the remaining 1%. This means that it was a gamble that was doomed to fail from the beginning, and it was the beginning of tragedy for many people. Therefore, many of us are not happy. Acknowledging that your child is ordinary is also an opportunity to reconcile with yourself There was a mother who, like all mothers, was determined from an early age to make her child outstanding. Watch all 52 episodes of Happy Superman League: Return of the Heroes for free in ultra-high definition 1080P. When her son was still in elementary school, she used hard and soft tactics to get him to memorize the entire set of \”Elementary School Students Must Memorize Ancient Poems\”, and also stipulated that he must read an essay by a famous writer every day. Later, she found that the child had little interest in reading, so she switched to listening. Because she couldn\’t buy suitable tapes, she went to work personally and recorded more than ten tapes for her children every semester. This persisted for several years. However, when the children enter junior high school, they basically cannot score in the modern reading section of every exam. The mother does not understand, does not accept, is angry, hates, and finally despairs. He had to hint and emphasize to himself eight hundred times a day that he was his biological son, so that he could barely restrain himself from taking action. Learn from the pain, the mother finally shared: \”In the end, I realized that in this regard, he is a child with no talent and no cleverness. I am not crazy.\” Realizing that his child is not a genius is really a very big thing. Lucky thing. This not only allows parents to correctly understand and accept their children. Reconciling with yourself and your children in educating your children can also give your children a correct understanding of themselves. If you clearly know that your child is an ordinary person, you must still find ways and sharpen your brain to cultivate him into an elite. The result will not only make you despair in the huge gap between reward and effort, but also create an illusion for your children, making them mistakenly think that they are a great person and have many unrealistic fantasies. As a result, he has high ambitions and low ambitions, thinking that his talents are not appreciated. I always feel that I am a thousand-mile horse, but I still can\’t meet Bole. If you are unable to correctly understand your own ordinaryness, how can you be happy and joyful in your ordinary life? Only when you realize the ordinaryness of your child can you understand him correctly and truly understand that he has a pair of parents who are both elites. My father was a genius in science, proficient in mathematics, physics and chemistry; my mother was a master in liberal arts, well read in poetry and books, and very talented. They are full of confidence in their children. The father is responsible for science and the mother is responsible for liberal arts. They firmly believe that they will be able to cultivate them into an outstanding top student. Unfortunately, their son happened to inherit his father\’s liberal arts genes and his mother\’s scientific talents perfectly. One night, my father told me a simple math problem several times, but the child still looked confused. Finally, my father couldn\’t restrain his inner anger. He slammed the table, threw books, and cursed a lot of \”idiot, idiot\”. The child cried in grievance for half the night. The mother feels sorry for her son. The next day I decided to accompany my child to school and sit in the classroom to listen. After a math class, even though she was attentive, my mother could only barely understand a general idea. In the evening, go home from school. The mother decided to tutor her child in mathematics and asked the father to tutor her in Chinese. Faced with a simple math question, my mother was thinking about it over and over again and couldn\’t make up her mind; my father was also scratching his head when it came to a very common Chinese language question, not knowing what to do. It was said to be counseling, but it turned out to be discussion with the children. In this way, parents gradually understood their child\’s stupidity and fully understood and sympathized with his frustration and pain in learning. More importantly, they realized that their child was an ordinary person with no extraordinary talent. Parents have a little more understanding of their children and a little more acceptance of his stupidity. Since then, not only has the relationship with the children been greatly improved, but the children\’s grades have also improved unconsciously. More importantly, under the influence of their parents, children also have a more objective understanding and accurate positioning of themselves, and they have become happy and calm since then. Expand others and accept children\’s mediocrity. If parents use their own advantages to measure and demand their children, it is unfair. It will cause additional pressure on the children and be counterproductive to the children\’s education. What’s even more frightening is that many Chinese parents insist on requiring their children to be outstanding even though they are clearly not good at it. The famous Taiwanese writer Wu Nianzhen once told such a thing. number of his sonsHis academic performance was very poor, and the teacher wrote in the contact book with his parents: \”I need to improve my math performance!\” When my son came home, his wife scolded him. Wu Nianzhen hurriedly pulled his wife to the kitchen and asked, \”Were you very good at mathematics when you were studying?\” His wife replied, \”It sucks!\” Wu Nianzhen said, \”I suck too! I only got 10 points in the college entrance examination.\” Points.\” Then Wu Nianzhen and his wife discussed this issue very seriously: We shouldn\’t make things difficult for our children if we can\’t do it ourselves. As a parent, when you look back at the path you have taken, many times you may not have worked hard enough, but you are really not good at it. Why bother to embarrass the children? From another perspective, if parents have never become millionaires or multi-millionaires, why should they embarrass their children and force them to become one of the best? Blindly allowing children to pursue the extraordinary will actually lead to their becoming ordinary. There is a friend who became a drifter in Beijing after graduating from college. After many twists and turns, the child finally got the quota to study in Beijing. My friend is a person who pursues perfection, so he simply works hard to send his children to prestigious schools. There are more than 800 students in the school, and the number of children is always around 600. Naturally, my friend was not willing to give in, so she worked overtime to make up extra lessons for her child. As a result, her child\’s grades dropped to the bottom fifty, and in the end, she became seriously tired of studying. After learning from the experience, my friend began to realize that his child was completely unable to keep up with the pace of a prestigious school, so he had to transfer his child to an ordinary high school near his home. Although the child\’s scores did not improve, his condition improved a lot and he began to become confident, cheerful, and interested in learning. Finally, during the college entrance examination, he performed exceptionally well and created a small surprise. Parents who blindly train their children to be elites and place their children in a position that they are not capable of will add extra pressure to their children, increase their frustration, and make them give up on themselves. When the contrast between reality and hope is too great, parents themselves can easily fall into despair. In this case, the child will be in tragedy. All extraordinary things come from the ability to live an ordinary life. Li Na is the tennis queen who has made generations of Chinese proud. The halo on her head illuminates the hearts of countless desperate people. In an interview, she talked about her daily life: endless practice. Dozens of balls are broken in a day. Practice the same movement over and over again, day and night, endlessly. This kind of life is not just ordinary, it is simply boring. Not just Li Na, almost all Olympic champions have had the same experience. Not just Olympic champions, almost all extraordinary people experience ordinary and boring suffering 99% of their lives. In fact, almost all achievements that astonish everyone are achieved in the ordinary. A scientist who is a Nobel Prize winner must do endless repetitive and boring experiments and read difficult and boring academic collections in his daily life. Extraordinary is achieved in the ordinary. In fact, what makes them extraordinary is precisely their ability to survive ordinary days. In other words, if you don’t know how to persevere in ordinary days, you won’t achieve extraordinary results. But parents who want to get their children out of the ranks of mortals, from the very beginning,This ability is simply ignored. Of course, we do not deny that some parents have received special favor from God, and their children are really geniuses. If you really win a prize, you can’t waste it. But you must first understand another truth. This is a small probability event, which is basically the same as being hit on the head by a pie falling from the sky. Therefore, when preparing to train your child to become an elite, you must take a closer look to see if he really has a certain talent; at the same time, you must also reflect on yourself. If you say that you are mediocre, don\’t demand too much from your children. . It is finally determined, certain, and certain that the child is indeed a genius, and we must not neglect to cultivate his ability to live an ordinary life. Otherwise, even a genius will become a mediocre person. Because of being ordinary, there is hope for being extraordinary. If a person is ordinary, that is natural; if a person is extraordinary, that is accidental; it is inevitable that everyone\’s life is ordinary. Therefore, if you lack the ability to grab happiness from the ordinary, you will naturally live an unhappy life. On the contrary, it will become more ordinary and even become mediocre. This is a vicious cycle. On the contrary, if we can learn how to live an ordinary life happily, it will first ensure that we become a happy and happy person. If we are not careful, there may be unexpected surprises, and we will achieve extraordinary things in the ordinary. As a parent, if you really have any hope and try to make your child an extraordinary person, or at least hope that he can live a happy life. Then don’t abandon the basics and pursue the weak. Let’s go back to the roots and teach your children how to obtain happiness in the ordinary.