Parents should be careful what they say to their children, and some words should never be said

Yesterday, I just finished dinner when I received a call from my sister. My sister said angrily on the phone: \”Daewoo is gone! What should I do? I looked everywhere but couldn\’t find him.\” I asked my sister what was going on. My sister hesitated and said, \”It wasn\’t because of my studies. I said something to him, and he snarled at me unconvinced. When I got angry, I scolded him, \’Why did I give birth to such a useless thing like you?\’ \’Who knew he couldn\’t stand it so much that he dropped his chopsticks and ran out.\” After hearing what my sister said, I sighed. My sister is like this every time. She obviously loves her children very much, but she always hurts her children with hurtful words. But every time he hurt a child, he never wanted to find the reason on himself. The famous psychologist Marshall Luxemburg once said: How to Improve Emotional Intelligence Education Piglet and Elephant Picture Book Elephant and Piggie, 25 volumes in total PDF + reading package + video + audio “Perhaps we do not think that the way we talk is violent, but the language It does often cause pain to oneself and others.\” Many times, a casual sentence from a parent, although it will not leave scars on the child\’s body, will pierce a thorn in the child\’s heart that is difficult to remove. What happens to the children who were stabbed by their parents? After reading the three stories below, maybe you will find some answers. The first story is about Xiaobo, an 11-year-old boy from Zhejiang. Xiaobo\’s academic performance is very good and he has never been among the top five in the class. But Xiaobo\’s mother was not satisfied. She often told Xiaobo: \”Only if you have good grades can others think highly of you.\” She was very strict with Xiaobo, and she would angrily scold and punish Xiaobo because of a small mistake or a slight step back. Some time ago, my mother saw Xiaobo playing with his mobile phone at home for half an hour on the surveillance camera, and she became very angry. When she returned home, she scolded Xiaobo for being \”unsatisfactory\” and \”only playing\” and made him kneel in the yard for two hours. No one thought that this would be the last straw for Xiaobo. Xiaobo decisively left a letter and ran away from home. The letter read: \”Mom, I\’m leaving, please don\’t look for me. I know I\’m a waste, a loser, and a burden. I\’ve made you angry more than once every day these years. Don\’t worry, I will take the book with me when I leave. I will study hard and collect some materials to write essays. Don’t look for me, I will come back by myself…\” Every word is heartbreaking. A child of only 11 years old, who should have been a confident, bright and energetic young man, now admits that he is a \”waste\”, a \”waste\” and a \”burden\”. A child who should have been pampered by his parents is now tremblingly trying to escape from his parents. He still comforts his parents in a sensible way and tells them, \”I will not forget to study.\” I think of a sentence I once saw: \” A sensible child will not forget to love you, but he will forget to love himself.\” Every scolding his mother gave him did not ignite hatred in his heart. But every unpleasant word his mother ever said left deep scars on his heart. It makes him feel fragile, inferior, confused, and helpless, makes him feel worthless, makes him feel that he is not worthy of being loved, and completely loses hope for the future.hope and enthusiasm. The second story comes from a 14-year-old girl with depression. The girl is studying in the province\’s number one key high school. Her parents have high expectations for her. As long as the girl\’s performance does not meet their parents\’ requirements, they will constantly deny her, demand her, and command her. After living on campus in high school, the girl often had disputes with her classmates because she didn\’t know how to deal with interpersonal relationships. The girl called her mother for help, complaining that she was being isolated and bullied. The mother\’s first reaction was not to care about the child and understand the truth, but to pour cold water on her: \”Why don\’t you isolate others, why not isolate you?\” Once, the girl\’s mother received a complaint from the head teacher, and turned around and beat the girl severely. Di Xiang cursed. \”If you don\’t have a good relationship with every classmate, that\’s your own problem.\” \”Can you reflect on yourself?\” Later, the girl never called her mother to talk to her again, but her condition became worse and worse. Worse: She began to become hysterical. She always picked her fingers unconsciously, causing wounds on her fingertips. She began to refuse to communicate with her mother. She always cried alone late at night. It wasn\’t until one time when the girl told her mother that she wanted to jump down while standing on the teaching building that the girl\’s mother panicked and hurriedly took the girl to see a doctor. However, when the doctor diagnosed the girl with moderate depression, the girl\’s mother did not care about the girl\’s condition. Instead, she blamed the girl in disappointment: \”We have spent so much money to train you into such a good school, why are you so troublesome?\” ?\” This time, the girl was completely disappointed with her mother. She locked herself in her room, wrote \”I hate my mother\” in her diary, and then quietly took an entire bottle of sleeping pills. Teacher Wu Zhihong said: \”Home is a harbor, love is a retreat.\” A child\’s deepest emotional need is to feel loved. Every child regards their parents as the closest people to them, and every child longs for their parents\’ love, understanding, and tolerance. Parents\’ neglect of their children\’s emotional needs and parents\’ indifference in their words to their children will not only chill the children\’s hearts and make them no longer trust their parents, but also push the children into a blind corner. Those indifferent accusations and blurted complaints are like sharp knives, completely cutting off the connection between parent and child. The third story is about a young murderer. When the boy was 12 years old, his parents divorced. From then on, he began to live with his mother, but her mother often insulted him: \”Why don\’t you die? You are a pig-brained, useless waste. Everyone is better than you.\” His mother humiliated, denied, and The sarcasm and sarcasm filled the boy\’s heart with anger and shame. Deep down in his heart, he began to agree: he was really a waste, really worthless. Until one day, unable to resolve the pain in his heart, he picked up a knife and stabbed someone weaker than himself crazily. In the end, he turned into what he hated the most. His mother\’s \”curse\” on him became a reality. There is a phenomenon of internalization in psychology: children will unknowingly believe their parents\’ negative evaluations of themselves, and transform these extremely bad evaluations into negative evaluations of themselves, living in the shadow of self-humiliation. In other words, parentsThe \”negative label\” placed on the child will become a \”reactionary force\” pushing the child to develop in a worse direction. Every denial and accusation from parents reminds their children how unbearable they are; every insult and insult from parents strengthens the rebellion and anger in their children\’s hearts; the more parents dislike their children, the more children will turn toward their parents. He ran away in a disgusted direction. There is a saying: Verbal abuse is tantamount to soul murder. Whether a child\’s life is positive and sunny or negative and degenerate depends entirely on the parents\’ thoughts. The above three stories actually correspond to the three levels of parents hurting their children with words; the first level: scarring the child\’s heart. The second level: puts the parent-child relationship in jeopardy. The third level: \”branding\” the child and ruining the child\’s life. Just like what is said in \”The Villa of Desire\”: a soft tongue can break a person\’s bones and muscles, and words are sometimes more hurtful than violence. To a parent, it may be just a blurted out word, but to a child, the damage may last a lifetime. Shu Qi once revealed her childhood experience on the show: \”I was beaten severely by my parents, scolded for being ugly, and wanted to run away when I saw my parents.\” This rough experience made Shu Qi become rebellious, sensitive, and have low self-esteem. In the shadow of extreme insecurity. When Jiang Wen was a child, his mother was very strict with him and never gave him a good look. After becoming famous, Jiang Wen once said in an interview: \”I am actually a very unconfident person because I have never been affirmed by my mother.\” Not being recognized and praised by his mother has become an eternal pain in Jiang Wen\’s heart. Education expert Li Meijin once conducted a survey of 1,000 minors. The analysis showed that children who are often scolded by their parents at home are most likely to develop character defects. 25.7% of children have \”low self-esteem\” and \”depression\”, 22.1% of children are cold-blooded, and 56.5% of children are often irritable. Therefore, there are some things that parents should never say to their children. A child\’s inner world is sensitive and fragile. Every hurtful word from parents will plant a seed of pain in the child\’s heart and affect the child\’s life. Adele Farber, a famous American child educator, said: \”Never underestimate the impact of your words on a child\’s life.\” People\’s words can destroy a child, but they can also make a child successful. When Edison was a child, his teacher once gave him a folded piece of paper and told him: \”Only your mother can read it.\” After Edison obediently handed the note to his mother, his mother cried while reading it. Edison asked Mom: \”What did the teacher say?\” Mom read to Edison very loudly: \”Your child is a genius. This school is too small for him. There are no good teachers to train him. Please teach yourself.\” However, After Edison\’s mother passed away, Edison accidentally saw the letter written by his teacher to his mother in his mother\’s closet. The letter actually said: \”Your child has an intellectual disability and we cannot let him continue to study in school.\” , he was dropped out of school.\” After reading this letter, Edison burst into tears. Later, he wrote in his diary: \”Thomas Edison is a child with intellectual disabilities, but heHis mother made him the genius of the century. \”The first time I saw this story, I was shocked. It turns out that every child has huge potential. Whether children can fully develop their potential depends on whether their parents are full of expectations, love and encouragement for them. . There was a little boy who was often laughed at by others because of his stutter. His mother said to him: \”Son, it\’s because your mouth can\’t keep up with your smart brain.\” \”When this little boy grew up, he became Jack Welch, the former CEO of General Electric Company. There was a short little girl who liked to play table tennis very much, and everyone disliked her. Her father firmly Tell her: \”You are great, you really are, believe me. \”When this little girl grew up, she was the world table tennis champion Deng Yaping. When a father introduced a little boy to his stepmother, he said: \”This is the worst boy in the whole community. The boy\’s stepmother said gently: \”You are wrong. He is not the worst boy in the community, but the smartest boy who has not yet found a place to vent his enthusiasm.\” \”When this boy grows up, he will be Carnegie who created the \”28 Golden Rules\”. Parents\’ mouths hide the feng shui of their children throughout their lives. In the parents\’ mouths, what kind of person a child is will determine what the child will become in the future. People. Parents’ watchfulness and expectations can bring infinite strength to children, helping them survive the cold winter, survive the thorns, and become the best version of themselves. Psychology professor Roy Baumeister was quoted in an article by more than The 5,300-time blockbuster paper states: “Bad is stronger than good, and negative things and positive things do not cancel each other out. \”A stabbed heart bleeds all his life. What is the best education for children? Famous educators reveal the secret for you PDF Those unpleasant words that parents say to their children cannot be offset by sweet words. So, as a parent, We must pay special attention to our words and deeds, and be careful about every word we say to our children. Language is a weapon that soothes the soul, and it is also a weapon that pierces the heart. No child can withstand the vicious accusations and abuses of his parents. Good parents have good mouths There is a zipper on the top, and we never speak as we please. May we all use the gentleness of spring breeze and rain to let our children gain love and happiness in the sun.