Parents should have a good sense of how much they love their children, otherwise it will be too late to regret

My colleague Xiao Lin has been online recently, collecting all kinds of gifts suitable for children. When asked why, she said that her daughter was about to celebrate her 9th birthday and she wanted to give a gift to every student in the class, and each student would be different. There are more than 40 people in a class, which means Xiaolin has to choose more than 40 kinds of gifts. \”Children\’s stuff is almost enough.\” \”No, my little princess said that this is her birthday wish. Since it is the child\’s wish, I have to take it seriously!\” Looking at Xiao Lin crawling on the computer, I didn\’t know for a moment that I should be grateful that I had Two children who don\’t have so many demands, should still envy Xiaolin\’s daughter for having such a loving mother? Love crosses the line and becomes \”doting\”. Xiao Lin is a mother in my life who loves her children very much. She is very attentive to everything about her daughter and tries her best to satisfy any request. If there is an award, Xiaolin can definitely win the \”24-filial good mother\” award. However, Xiao Lin\’s bottomless care was rewarded with disgust and blame from his daughter. Whenever she didn\’t have her way, she would cry and throw things until her mother compromised. Looking at the serious Xiao Lin, I can even see in her the feeling of trying hard to please her daughter. Xiaolin\’s love for her children went beyond the scope of normal care and directly turned into a kind of doting. Sadly, she didn\’t feel anything was wrong with her. There is an ancient saying that \”spoiling a child is like killing a child.\” Mothers like Xiao Lin seem to love their children, but excessive love turns into doting. In fact, many parents have a hard time figuring out the boundaries between love and doting, and often become overly doting. Master the 6 rules to be a well-measured parent. Parents play a vital role in the growth of their children. Every word and deed, the way they do things, and their habits have a great impact on the growth of children. If you overindulge, your children will lose their self-awareness and independence. Therefore, to be a parent with a sense of boundaries, you must grasp 6 rules. Rule 1: Clarify the difference between caring and doting. To truly love children, adults need to clearly understand: the difference between caring and doting. Care: It means that parents provide their children with all necessary life and educational support out of their love and sense of responsibility for their children, encourage their children to try new things, cultivate interests and hobbies, improve themselves, and promote their all-round development. Doting: This refers to parents over-protecting and pampering their children, ignoring the child\’s personality and needs, and satisfying all the child\’s requirements, causing the child to become overly dependent on others and lose self-awareness and independence. Rule 2: Establish a correct concept of family education. I remember when I was a child, when educating our sisters, our parents always used the method of \”one is the popular face and the other is the white face\”. After a serious criticism, someone will definitely reason with us gently. Although I know that sometimes my father and mother pretend to be serious, but their education has never made me feel that they indulge their children too much. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! Family education is basic education. Even if you come into contact with school education and social education in the future, family education must be the most important part. This also means that parents must have a reasonable concept of educationConcept, make rules and plans, adhere to principles, and do not compromise or indulge children excessively. Only when parents have correct educational concepts can they give their children a good family education. Parents should establish a correct outlook on life and values, educate their children to be positive, brave, strong, sincere, kind, and responsible, so that their children can establish correct life goals and pursuits from an early age, and cultivate a healthy mentality and self-confidence. Rule 3: Pay attention to children\’s abilities and qualities. Cultivating and caring for children should not only meet the children\’s material needs, but also focus on cultivating children\’s abilities and qualities. Parents can help their children understand their own interests, hobbies and strengths, encourage their children to participate in various useful activities and social occasions, improve their children\’s social and communication skills, and enhance their children\’s self-confidence and independent thinking ability. At the same time, parents should also guide their children to view setbacks and failures correctly, teach them to actively face difficulties and challenges, and teach them the ability to survive, which is far more meaningful than living in a honeypot. Rule 4: Give your children independence and freedom. My neighbor in my hometown, Mrs. Zhang, is a well-known mother who loves her children. Ever since her son was a child, Mrs. Zhang would take care of everything big and small. Even though her son was married, she would still enter her son\’s and daughter-in-law\’s rooms casually, which led to her son\’s divorce and remarriage three times. And she never felt that she had any problems. She only looked for problems in others and spoke ill of her daughter-in-law everywhere. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was also very bad. Mrs. Zhang is a typical mother who interferes too much in her child\’s life. She thinks she cares about her son, but in fact she has seriously interfered in his life, deprived him of his right to independence and freedom, and brought pressure and burden to his child\’s life. Parents who love their children should respect their individuality, cultivate their independence, give their children space and freedom, let them learn to think and solve problems independently, and cultivate their sense of responsibility and self-discipline. Just provide guidance and support at critical moments. Rule 5: Listen to children’s voices and needs. As children’s close partners and mentors, parents should always pay attention to their children’s inner world and needs, and understand their emotions and thoughts. Try to use more open communication methods to communicate feelings and opinions with your children, listen to your children\’s inner voices, understand your children\’s needs and difficulties, and give your children full understanding and support. At the same time, when dealing with family conflicts and conflicts, we should also adopt an equal, respectful and rational approach to achieve the purpose of harmonious coexistence. Otherwise, it will hurt the child and destroy the parent-child relationship. Rule 6: Adjust educational methods according to the child’s personality. Many parents around me like to buy various parenting books and then educate their children according to the above methods. First of all, it is good to learn more, but you cannot apply all the contents in the book to your baby. Every child has his own personality. Parents should adjust their education methods in time as their children grow, help them adapt to the social environment and live independently, and avoid over-dependence and spoiling. Parenting tips: Children’s lives come from their parents, but they have their own independent thoughts and a life of their own. True love is not to be overly involved in their growth and life, but to provide guidance, care and reasonable withdrawal when needed.Only in this way can we better grasp the boundary between caring for and doting on children, so that children can grow up healthily and independently. The sense of boundary between caring for and doting on children mainly depends on the correct guidance and control of parents. Don\’t put your children as the focus of your life too much, otherwise it will affect your children and lose the value of your own life.